Rich ‘friend’ harassing me

[Brunchclub]

A few weeks ago a ‘friend’ asked me to go for some drinks and I told him I didn’t have the money to do so. He offered to lend me some money as he really wanted to get out and enjoy the weather. I told him if I did then I couldn’t pay the money back until around the second week in July. He said this was absolutely fine.

Fast forward to last night, he asked for the money. I said I didn’t have it until when I had stated, he had 2 more of his friends (also male btw) message me throughout the evening claiming he needed the money to be able to eat and I was being unfair.

This morning somebody I know told me they saw him out watching the England game and was out until 4am. He owns his house, paid for by his parents, his car Is paid for by parents and he doesn’t actually do anything except basic admin tasks for a few hours a day as his parents own the company. He is very very comfortable.

AIBU to be upset he had several friends message me late at night claiming he was going hungry when In fact im say with rolled up toilet paper in my underwear as I can’t afford sanitary towels and I’m on my period, I have 2 meals in my freezer but nothing for the rest of the week until I get paid on Friday and my bank is wiped out from vet bills just so he can ask for money that wasn’t due to be paid back yet because he wanted more for buying drugs and drinks?

No, you’re not unreasonable. I would re evaluate that friendship, though. Just pay it back the minute you can and then block them.

Pay the money back as soon as you can.
Never speak to this dickhead or his friends again.
Choose your friends more wisely in future.
Never borrow money from anyone, especially not to go drinking.

Don’t spend money on drinking when your financial circumstances are so precarious.

Agree. Pay him back when you said you would and then block them all.

He's using this as a form of control.

Cut this fucker off after payment, for your own sanity.

They are all currently blocked anyway. I told him I’d pay him when I said but I have blocked now as it won’t make a difference having him harass me or not as I won’t have the money until I said.

Pay back as soon as possible and have nothing to do with this person. There's something dark in their character and you know it deep down.

Why would you go out drinking when you’ve not got enough money for sanitary towels? Particularly with an idiot like this! Pay him back asap and get rid of him. Find someone better to hang out with!

Send the money on the date said, and keep him blocked. Don't even message to say it's there.

You need to avoid people like that, he sounds like a using junkie.

To get friends to message you us out if order. They could have lent him money if he was that broke.

He’s a twat. But I suspect you will keep being his friend after you’ve paid him back.

Oh my luv, some of the supermarkets will give you some sanitary products for free. Morrisons being one, just have a quick search online.

Just ignore them, pay back the money when you can and don’t speak with him again x

Agree.

This is such a shitty situation OP, the only thing you can do is repay on time and learn this lesson for the future. Never a lender, nor borrower be. Especially not to entertain pricks like your "friend".

Because I had money to live on at the time but not spare for some drinks. Then unexpected vet bills wiped me out on food and toiletries money. I can pay him back on pay day. The vet bills were unforeseen. And no, I don’t have savings as I don’t earn enough to save. This is the realities of being working class. But go ahead and tell poor people how they can’t enjoy a few drinks in the sun as an escape of our miserable lives every other day. We deserve to have some fun too.

He's a nasty, tight arsed git op.

What a horrible ‘friend’ (you were right to put that in quotation marks!).

I can only reiterate what others have said. Pay when first agreed then dump the friendship.

He's a nasty fucker, not a friend. Pay back as soon as you get the money then block him and his bullly mates permanently. Any further harassment get the police involved

@Brunchclub if you have a Morrisons near you go in there and use their package for sandy service and you will get some free sanitary towels.

Libraries often stock free sanitary Pro x

Do you have a foodbank near you OP? They sometimes include sanitary towels, I'm sure you could ask.

I have been in this financial position before, I grew up very poor.

im more upset about how my supposed friend even had the idea to get his male friends to harass me. Who does that?

Block them all, no more interaction. Send the money on the day you said. Tbh, it's irrelevant if he's rich or poor, you were clear about when you would be able to pay him back.

The cynic in me has to ask.. did he try it on that night and you rejected him?

@Brunchclub the PP wasn't suggesting you aren't allowed and shouldn't have- she's checking that you weren't coerced out to socialise with someone when you couldn't really afford to and may have preferred not to.

At least that's how I read it.

Don't feel obliged to keep up with people and invitations- spend your money in the way that makes sense to you, because let's face it it's too valuable not to!

I'm surprised at your priorities. You've got no money for food or sanitary towels. Please go to your local foodbank (you may need a referral, check online) or as others have suggested Morrisons.

PDSA offer free help for pets if you're on the breadline
https://www.pdsa.org.uk/

I hope you work something out.

"Never a borrower or lender be" - advice from my Nan that I live by.

YANBU that he was not on to get other people to harass you however if you borrowed money (you don't say how much) he's not unreasonable to ask to be repaid - within the parameters you agreed. His financial circumstances make no difference to whether you should repay the money.

Agree with PP about popping down to the local food bank to collect sanitary products but also another PP that you need to prioritise your spending - 1 glass of wine = 2 packs of pads.

Unfortunately it does sound as if your pet/ pets are going to put a strain on your finances as well.