Rich ‘friend’ harassing me

[Brunchclub]

A few weeks ago a ‘friend’ asked me to go for some drinks and I told him I didn’t have the money to do so. He offered to lend me some money as he really wanted to get out and enjoy the weather. I told him if I did then I couldn’t pay the money back until around the second week in July. He said this was absolutely fine.

Fast forward to last night, he asked for the money. I said I didn’t have it until when I had stated, he had 2 more of his friends (also male btw) message me throughout the evening claiming he needed the money to be able to eat and I was being unfair.

This morning somebody I know told me they saw him out watching the England game and was out until 4am. He owns his house, paid for by his parents, his car Is paid for by parents and he doesn’t actually do anything except basic admin tasks for a few hours a day as his parents own the company. He is very very comfortable.

AIBU to be upset he had several friends message me late at night claiming he was going hungry when In fact im say with rolled up toilet paper in my underwear as I can’t afford sanitary towels and I’m on my period, I have 2 meals in my freezer but nothing for the rest of the week until I get paid on Friday and my bank is wiped out from vet bills just so he can ask for money that wasn’t due to be paid back yet because he wanted more for buying drugs and drinks?

He can’t be as rich as you think he is. You aren’t privy to his finances really. Do you think he invited you out because he wanted more? And as nothing happened he has decided to be a dick now?

But YANBU here. He is being awful, so pay when you can and delete his number.

A jerk that’s who.

Pay him back as agreed then never have anything to do with him again.

If there is no immediate prospect of someone's finances improving, pets are a luxury. A luxury they can no longer afford. So yes, rehome them. Being in the situation that an unexpected vet bill (presumably because uninsured, or having to pay the excess) leaves you unable to afford basic sanitary protection is ludicrous.

The OP is the important one here. She should be able to afford the basics. And she can't, because she is feeding and medicating multiple animals.

Don't want to stick the boot in but...you shouldn't keep animals if you can't afford vet bills.

I can’t get over that he didn’t just say “come out anyway, don’t worry about the money, I’ll pay,” like any decent friend would offer if they just wanted your company.
Reiterate that you’ll pay him back on the date you agreed and then cut him off, he sounds like a prick.

Is it possible that your rich friend's male mates did this just for a laugh? I can imagine if he mentioned it in passing in a bar, there are some sorts of men who would find it hilarious to bombard you with messages about repaying. Toffs burning £10 notes in front of the homeless comes to mind - that kind of mentality.
Pay him as arranged, then block the lot of them, including friend.

This. What an arse.

Actually, I think the OP should be praised for putting her pets first even though she is financially stretched.
Telling her to get rid of them is heartless and ignorant IMO.

OP I’m sorry you’re in this position. Just keep counting down those days until payday!

Your friend is an arse. A real friend would either cover you or accept that you couldn’t afford to go out. They also wouldn’t get friends to harass you for money. He is an entitled prick and you sound lovely.

Keep him blocked and cross the street if you run into him again.

Again, what do you expect her to do? You don't know OPs circumstances, you don't know that this skint period isn't a temp thing, you don't know that OP might have fled domestic abuse with nothing. And yeah, you were sticking the boot in, like a lot of people who have probably never been poor

YANBU, he should not be pressuring you when he knew that you couldn't pay until the date you gave him.

Are they still doing package for Sandy at Morrisons? You used to be able to get a couple of free sanitary towels from them. I know Tesco stopped the white envelope scheme unfortunately. Some local councils list places that you can get free period products from locally on their websites so might be worth a look too.

Imo some posters are being very harsh on OP
I'm on lifelong disability benefits.
I also have a beautiful " companion" dog who means the world to me and I pay a dog Walker 5x weekly to ensure his needs are met
I would feed him before myself if necessary.
I have had an unexpected purchase this month as my washing machine died so it's a similar situation
My DS Paid for a food shop this week
These things happen when on a low income.

You can get free sanitary products in lots of places now. I’d Google if I were you.

No judgement here OP, if you happen to live close enough I'd be happy to drop off some sanitary products and some ready meals to see you through.

Wow. You do know it's not easy to rehome pets? Rescues are full to bursting and there could be a long wait for a place. Besides that, pets are company. I don't have any at the moment but when we had our cat I would have gone without as long as I could keep him.

Can you not get an overdraft OP for emergencies? No one should have to use rolled up toilet paper when on their period.

If I wanted to go out for a drink or two with a skint friend I would just pay. I would never in a MILLION years offer to lend money to someone doing me a favour.
When you can pay him back please, please, go to the bank and draw it all out in coppers.
He can then shove it all up his arse.

This. Did he have any intention to get to get you drunk, shag you? He seems like a complete tosser either way. Heed other posters advice. You’ve done well to block them all

If this is your idea of NOT sticking the boot in I'd hate to imagine what you consider sticking in the boot to be...

Having said that, if you have pets, @Brunchclub , you need to budget for emergencies - because they will happen.

I can also see the temptation of going out for a few drinks 'like normal people'. But from how you describe it it sounds like you felt almost coerced to go out with this 'friend'. A true friend would not have done this. If anything they would have paid for at least some of your drinks, or they'd have invited you to theirs to keep costs down.

However, spending £40 on unnecessary stuff when you are on the breadline is not exactly sensible.

Thank you. The superiority here is breathtaking. Don’t go out, don’t have pets, don’t have a drink, don’t have fun, don’t do this, don’t do that, Jesus.

If he was a true friend he would have paid for your drinks and said nothing more!
No-one knows what's around the corner - I bet there are plenty of people who have paid out for something and then had a big bill come in for a car repair or whatever and wondered how the heck are they going to pay it.
It's called life - and it has a habit of kicking you when you are down on occasion!

He is not your friend and you should cut him off after you pay him but you are also unreasonably to agree for him to borrow you money to go out for drinks when you are in a situation where you can't even afford sanitary pads.

Next time you say no and stick to it and if he wants to treat you that's fine but you don't agree to borrow money you can't afford to go drinking with your friend because he really wants to go out for drinks.

To be fair, a few drinks in the sun would not be my first priority if I had to use toilet paper as sanitary protection, regardless if I felt I deserved some fun!

Just pay him back when you said and block him, and all of his friends. You seriously don’t need these people in your life.