Rich ‘friend’ harassing me

[Brunchclub]

A few weeks ago a ‘friend’ asked me to go for some drinks and I told him I didn’t have the money to do so. He offered to lend me some money as he really wanted to get out and enjoy the weather. I told him if I did then I couldn’t pay the money back until around the second week in July. He said this was absolutely fine.

Fast forward to last night, he asked for the money. I said I didn’t have it until when I had stated, he had 2 more of his friends (also male btw) message me throughout the evening claiming he needed the money to be able to eat and I was being unfair.

This morning somebody I know told me they saw him out watching the England game and was out until 4am. He owns his house, paid for by his parents, his car Is paid for by parents and he doesn’t actually do anything except basic admin tasks for a few hours a day as his parents own the company. He is very very comfortable.

AIBU to be upset he had several friends message me late at night claiming he was going hungry when In fact im say with rolled up toilet paper in my underwear as I can’t afford sanitary towels and I’m on my period, I have 2 meals in my freezer but nothing for the rest of the week until I get paid on Friday and my bank is wiped out from vet bills just so he can ask for money that wasn’t due to be paid back yet because he wanted more for buying drugs and drinks?

If you ask for “Sandy” at a Morrisons customer service desk they’ll give you a package that has a couple of pads in

PDSA is a good shout, see if you qualify. I had a period of being on the bones of my backside and qualified for PDSA when I got council tax support but I think there's a few benefits that can qualify you too.

Never, ever get into debt just to socialise.

Rich friends don't lend you money so you can keep up with them socially. They treat you, because they can.

Whether you accept their generosity or not is up to you.

A genuine friend would never encourage you to spend money you don't have.

This? Why!?

This

Absolutely you do, but surely you can see it’s an ill-advised move to get into debt to someone who sounds potentially dangerous? The fact that you ‘deserve’ some leisure pleasures doesn’t mitigate this. And gently, pets are expensive. Ill pets are incredibly expensive. If you’re this close to the breadline in general, that unexpected vet bills leave you without food or sanitary towels, it doesn’t sound like something you can afford. And yes, that’s unfair.

Don't get into debt to go drinking on someone else's whim.

So you're using PDSA but going out and spending 40 quid on drinks?! Your priorities are totally skewed and the PDSA help you're taking for free could go to someone who isn't going out on the lash. Catch yourself on.

One of my cats

So multiple pets requiring feeding and other items, and you can't afford sanitary towels?? You have your priorities WAY wrong.

Well, he has shown you that your friendship is worth less than 40 quid to him. Pay off and bin.

I doubt the OP is the first person to think she had her budget under control and then an unexpected vet bill pops up. Yes, we should have an emergency plan for that, but sometimes people don't.

He sounds like a complete twunt! Pay him the money back when you promised to originally, then cut him off! He's either got a very sick sense of humour, or he's power crazy, neither of which will benefit you in any way going forward! With friends like these, who needs enemies?! Let him go out with his weird friends in future and leave the lot to it! 🌻

im more upset about how my supposed friend even had the idea to get his male friends to harass me. Who does that?

Not a friend, that’s for sure. As pp have said pay him back then block him, that’s a horrible, bullying thing to do.

Not a real man. As he's such a child, I'd contact his parents and show them the messages. Explain you agreed to pay him back in Friday and he's intimidated you

Never lend money off someone unless it’s an emergency, it’s not worth the drama.

Do you still have the message where you told him you’ll pay him back the second week of July?

I would screenshot it and send it to him and his friends telling him that you’ll pay him back when agreed.

Once you pay him back then never speak to him again.

Because she thought he was a friend who wanted to go out and would wait for the money as agreed. Sadly she had an unexpected vets bill and as someone who got stung for £500 for two sick chickens who had to be put to sleep anyway (and they wanted to charge for that too); I know how that can hit.
Sadly he's a pathetic loser who relies on mummy and daddy with no concept or concern how people who thought of him as a friend live

You do understand that people's circumstances change, yes?

I think this person is unreasonable and dodgy. I think it also a lesson not to go out if don't have any money.

Why does this prick need his minion friends to help him speak out. It’s a pity they weren’t around when he was wanting to go out then he wouldn’t have been pestering you and putting you in a position were you owed money. You told him the day you could pay it back. With the best will in the world, you can’t pull money out of the air that you haven’t got.
If I wanted to go out and my friend had no money I just pay for him/her I wouldn’t dream of asking for it back. Why should they be out of pocket and have their bills fucked up because I want a night out.
I agree with PP who said block him as soon as he gets his money. Life’s complicated enough without arse holes adding to it.

She said she uses PDSA. If you do that perhaps you don’t have sn extra £40 to go out drinking.

Agree he’s a loser.

What do you expect her to do, chuck them out?

Circumstances change and there's nothing wrong with people having pets

He's not a friend He has no comprehension that you are in a difficult situation
If he's so broke, why didn't his friends lend him money?!
Temporarily block him as you have told himthe date you'll pay him.
Nasty messages aren't going to change that
I would consider if you want to continue with this " friendship"

He's playing dirty.

I would pay him back on the agreed date.

Get proof of the payment and block him.

All of this.

" he wanted more [money] for buying drugs and drinks"
It sounds like these are his priorities, unfortunately. Are his friends the same?.

Ffs have some of you not read the information

op had wages enough to cover normal household expenses (but not luxuries) until next wage came in (next week)

friend asked her to go out for drinks, op replied I don’t have money for luxuries so he said il lend it she said il repay next pay day (next week)

after drinks night cat got unexpectedly ill so the wage which was meant to cover essentials (including sanitary supplies) was wiped out.

op is now having to go without until next wage comes in because the money she had budgeted to last until next week went on the vet bill.

in The middle of all this male and his friends is asking for the money to be returned a week earlier than agreed when it was lent to her.

she didn’t make any choices knowing there was no money to cover essentials!

she made choices then her circumstances unexpectedly changed.

this is the reality of living with low wages and literally only just earning enough to cover living expenses, it means an unexpected event destroys the money budgeted to last until the next wage.

I know some of you will jump on saying that means she shouldn’t have pets or drink at all or have anything that most would class as above an essential etc but that’s not how life works if it’s your permanent position rather than doing a low wage job while waiting for a better one to come along for some people that is their life forever.

Most of the time she manages perfectly well on the little amount that comes in and it covers all the choices she has made (rent, pets, bills etc) but occasionally something will happen that means she has to pull back or go without until the wage tops her back up again because there is no savings to fall back on.

@Brunchclub I know you’ll pay him once the wage comes in but my advice is don’t continue to be friends because he has treated you horribly and I know you know this but don’t borrow for luxuries. It’s hard I know iv been there sometimes you just want to say fuck it i deserve a treat but this is a perfect example of why not. You can’t know the future so don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re going to have to find money that could well be spent on something else at the next wage to pay for a luxury you couldn’t afford the week/month before it only leaves you feeling worse!