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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel quite upset - just got told by a stranger to get out of his fucking way

244 replies

Acapulco12 · 06/07/2024 10:09

Was walking badk from the shops this morning and swerved to avoid a puddle on one side and another walker approaching me on th other side.

Whilst doing this, I was pretty much neck and neck with a guy who told me off for walking in front of him. I apologised and said I hadn’t meant to but wanted to avoid the puddle and the other guy. He then said, ‘avoid me!’ and then ‘get out of my fucking way’.

i know this is a tiny thing in the grand scheme of things but it upset me. I’ve never ever had this. It was like road rage, but between walkers.

I understand I shouldn’t have been in his way and walked in front of him and changed direction, but I explained why I did it and I didn’t deserve for him to speak to me so rudely. I said to him that he’d been very rude and he just strode off without saying anything.

Obviously he thinks he’s completely in the right, and maybe he’s also having a bad day, but it gives him no right at all to speak to me like that.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 06/07/2024 10:11

He's just another wanker. Don't give it headspace.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 06/07/2024 10:11

I mean you could have simply waited until he had passed to avoid the puddle rather than veering in front of him but absolutely no need for such aggression-especially after you had apologised. I'd have told him to fuck off.

BurntOrangeAutumn · 06/07/2024 10:11

He's a prick. His reaction had nothing to do with you & everything to do with him.
Most people would have laughed that off.
Sorry that happened to you.
Just think how much it sucks to be him going around angry like that all the time!
Your day has to get better now, try not to dwell on it, accept the feelings & move on 💐

StripedTomatoes · 06/07/2024 10:15

Poor guy said the quiet part loud, I've been there but thankfully without the swearing. It's really annoying when someone gets in your way.

CustardySergeant · 06/07/2024 10:15

There was no need for his reaction, but you could have stopped and waited a few seconds for him to pass rather than swerve into his path. Did you not glance behind you to ensure the pavement was clear before swerving the puddle or was he walking along and you suddenly veered into the path he was taking?

Acapulco12 · 06/07/2024 10:15

Thanks everyone ❤️ I’m very lucky that my life is generally a wanker-free zone, so I think that’s why it upset me today. @FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren yes I should have done that! That would have avoided the whole situation.

OP posts:
Acapulco12 · 06/07/2024 10:17

CustardySergeant · 06/07/2024 10:15

There was no need for his reaction, but you could have stopped and waited a few seconds for him to pass rather than swerve into his path. Did you not glance behind you to ensure the pavement was clear before swerving the puddle or was he walking along and you suddenly veered into the path he was taking?

I went into his path fairly suddenly, yes, as I was also trying to avoid roadworks and a puddle, and another walker coming our way from the r opposite direction, so I didn’t really know where to go and just thought I would quickly go in front of him, but I know I judged that badly now.

OP posts:
combinationpadlock · 06/07/2024 10:18

swearing is the displacement for violence. Your brain interprets it as violence. This is why it is so important not to allow swear words to become so common place that they are not a substitute for violence, and people then move straight to actual violence rather than this intermediate step. It is also why it is so upsetting to be sworn at.

Feelingmentallyunsettled · 06/07/2024 10:18

No, he should not have spoken to you like that. Especially as you apologised to him.
It's the type of incident that would upset me.

BUT I do feel these days a lot of people feel they can behave just as they like, say just what they want to other people. There are a lot of rude unpleasant people around with, the behaviour that goes with that attitude. So basically try and accept that he was a nasty person who probably got a kick out of being unpleasant. You can't change people so try and accept it happened and move on.

Hopefully one day he will be unpleasant to the wrong person and get his come uppance.

Dentalflossie · 06/07/2024 10:20

He's a wanker.
He would not have said it to a big bloke.

GCAcademic · 06/07/2024 10:20

I bet he would have managed to keep a lid on his aggression if it had been a well-built bloke who had got in his way.

mrshoho · 06/07/2024 10:21

He's a miserable git. Try not to think about it again.

I met one these miserable types getting petrol from a tesco the other morning. I queued to pay at the till with the assistant with 1 person in front of me. To the side were self service tills with no one waiting. A man then went and stood there and loudly shouted 'this is the queue'. He then shouted at the assistant who looked at me embarrassed and said the queue is actually there. I turned to the man and said "please go ahead of me, I just joined the queue that was already here". He then backed down sheepishly saying no you go first but I insisted he went before me lol.

mrsdineen2 · 06/07/2024 10:21

I have to tell my 6 year old to watch where they're walking and be mindful of others. My 8 year old has gotten the memo. How old are you OP?

Allfur · 06/07/2024 10:23

Dentalflossie · 06/07/2024 10:20

He's a wanker.
He would not have said it to a big bloke.

Exactly this

YourNimblePeachTraybake · 06/07/2024 10:23

mrsdineen2 · 06/07/2024 10:21

I have to tell my 6 year old to watch where they're walking and be mindful of others. My 8 year old has gotten the memo. How old are you OP?

No need to be so rude. I expect even you have made mistakes in your life.

BigFatLiar · 06/07/2024 10:24

No harm done. It was a bit uncalled fir but non of us know what was going on in his life. He may have been having the shittiest day ever.

Butchyrestingface · 06/07/2024 10:27

I got told off once (though not as rudely as you) for "aggressively overtaking" someone.

We were both pedestrians on a pavement. It was ruralish Scotland though - different roolz apply. 😅

powershowerforanhour · 06/07/2024 10:27

He WBU not to rush ahead and spread his coat over the puddle for you 😉

INeedAnotherName · 06/07/2024 10:29

Acapulco12 · 06/07/2024 10:17

I went into his path fairly suddenly, yes, as I was also trying to avoid roadworks and a puddle, and another walker coming our way from the r opposite direction, so I didn’t really know where to go and just thought I would quickly go in front of him, but I know I judged that badly now.

No wonder he swore if you suddenly veered in front of him. I've sworn at thoughtless idiots who do this too especially if I have heavy bags and I become unbalanced.

Put this out of your head but learn from it so you don't do it again. Always check behind you if you need to change direction even if ambling along (I hope you aren't a driver btw). Just think if he was coming up fast he could have accidentally bumped you into oncoming traffic and you'd end up really hurt (seen it happen).

Balloonhearts · 06/07/2024 10:30

I'd have just replied fuck off you miserable cunt. But then I'm not what you'd call conflict avoidant lately.

People are getting more impatient and aggressive of late and honestly I'm finding the only way to deal with them is to give it straight back or ask them why they're being like that. They're usually so shocked they back down.

I had a woman get really aggressive with me because I couldn't refund her with no packaging and no receipt a few months ago. Really really nasty. Told me to come out from behind that fucking screen and she'd show me how to serve. So I got up, grabbed the big metal metre ruler next to me and came out. She immediately proclaimed it 'not worth it' and walked off.

I honestly don't think THEY even know why they're being so aggressive because they back off the minute you stand up to them. It's been getting worse and worse since covid.

The amount of times I get called useless or worse in a week just because of not being able to get a refund or it taking 3-5 days to go back to their card or we're out of stock of something or something other trivial inconvenience.

I can apologise and offer credit or to order something for them but no, it's like I personally am responsible for running out of vapour tape, like I've hidden it for shits and giggles.

FatmanandKnobbin · 06/07/2024 10:30

You were rude in one way, he was rude back in another.

No point giving it anymore headspace.

VolvoFan · 06/07/2024 10:32

This is why I avoid crowded areas when I'm walking. Too many people are in their own little world and forget that there are other people around. They walk out in front me, stop dead or a family reunion takes place right where I need to go. Too many times I've cussed someone out under my breath. It drives me insane, so I take a different route or I try a quieter time.

Persus · 06/07/2024 10:33

Yesterday a woman ran her Costco trolley into my bum. She was distracted. She said sorry and I laughed and made some joke. We all smiled and went our separate ways.

All the soul sucking holier than thou morons who will be happy to castigate you for your perceived errors while ignoring the misogyny and threatening behaviour of a man who behaves like this make me despair.

It is upsetting to have a glimpse of the violence and contempt that some men have towards women.

Buddysbunda · 06/07/2024 10:36

Oblivious pedestrians annoy the crap out of me. I walk and run a lot and am always aware of others around me, moving in and stopping to let others pass if necessary. I do fake nonchalance at others rudeness though and smile and pretend it isn't really irritating. The bloke was out of order. If we all went around saying what we think it wouldn't be a very nice place to live.

mrsdineen2 · 06/07/2024 10:37

YourNimblePeachTraybake · 06/07/2024 10:23

No need to be so rude. I expect even you have made mistakes in your life.

"So what if someone selfishly jumps in front of you while you walk and knocks you under a bus. Mistakes happen. #bekind"

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