To feel quite upset - just got told by a stranger to get out of his fucking way

[Acapulco12]

Was walking badk from the shops this morning and swerved to avoid a puddle on one side and another walker approaching me on th other side.

Whilst doing this, I was pretty much neck and neck with a guy who told me off for walking in front of him. I apologised and said I hadn’t meant to but wanted to avoid the puddle and the other guy. He then said, ‘avoid me!’ and then ‘get out of my fucking way’.

i know this is a tiny thing in the grand scheme of things but it upset me. I’ve never ever had this. It was like road rage, but between walkers.

I understand I shouldn’t have been in his way and walked in front of him and changed direction, but I explained why I did it and I didn’t deserve for him to speak to me so rudely. I said to him that he’d been very rude and he just strode off without saying anything.

Obviously he thinks he’s completely in the right, and maybe he’s also having a bad day, but it gives him no right at all to speak to me like that.

They never do
They are bullies. Until they pick on the wrong person and end up with a bloody nose 🤣

I’ve said that a million times in my head at pedestrians I can’t pass but I’ve never said it out loud. Maybe he was stressed about something and he needed to get there fast?

Not nice, but to be honest I’d have forgotten about it within a minute.

He is a wanker. You could have waited but you didn't, that's ok you didn't deserve the aggression. If things like this happen to me we usually laugh it off with whoever is walking the opposite way. No need for his reaction.

He was being rude. I'm finding that unfortunately a lot of people fall into this entitled category. They seem to think that nothing can possibly be in 'their' path, and if there is, they will continue through regardless.

I am so sick of cyclists on public paths ringing their bells behind me simultaneously as speeding past, expecting me to not only get out of their way, but at the speed of light. They're not supposed to be on the dam path! Often it is a wide enough path for them to get through too.

I can only understand frustration when there are side my side groups, blocking a path, who are walking at snail's pace, while being joined at the hip (usually on the school run). A simple "excuse me cam I just get past" in this situation will however do!

Ah OP you must live a lovely life to never really incur these types of twats.

honestly don’t give it a second thought, it wasn’t about you and he won’t be giving it any additional brain power so why should you?

I love it when men are rude to me for no reason because they get a mouthful back and it gives me a chance to release the rage I repress during my “gentle parenting /
corporate leader” day to day life.

I recently got a telling off from a cyclist and he got called a Lycra wearing wanker in return! 🙏🏻

I feel for you OP. I had something similar in a supermarket once. A young couple were coming towards me hand in hand or wrapped round each other, can’t remember. There was no way to walk round them so I had to kind of go towards them and they had to break apart to let me through, the man shouted “fucking hell” at me. It really shook me up. Now I make sure I stay miles away from anyone who looks aggressive. I hope you’re okay.

This. My stepdad is the most obnoxious rude driver and will hang on the horn at everything. You just encountered a similar bad tempered arse. Any decent human wouldn't dream of speaking to a human being like that

He was rude and ungracious. Maybe he was unsteady for whatever reason, or had an injury and feared you'd crash into him. You probably gave him a fright and he reacted without thinking. Not worth feeling upset over

Definitely

A lot of us may have said similar on our heads, though that doesn't excuse him saying it out loud. It is like road rage, where people are strangers to each other. I remember one day being irritated as I drove to work with someone in another car, then noticed they were one of my colleagues and smiled and waved them out sweetly instead!

It's horrible when people speak to you like this but don't take it personally - you're just an obstruction to them in that minute. You made a misjudgement - it happens to us all. Forget him.

Male privilege.

bet he wouldn’t have said it to another man, and if he’d been female it would have been “sorry, sorry” all round.

but he’s a man and you’re a mere woman, and he knows he can get away with it.

Totally agree with this. I have had men push past me, get in my space in shops, push infront of me. Funnily enough dh has encountered none of this. There are still lovely polite men too who have been the opposite, it isn't all.

This. A lot of men feeling entitled to bully women.

Who the fuck checks behind them when walking?! Give over.

I don't think you did anything wrong. You did "avoid him". Just because he doesn't want to walk alongside a stranger doesn't mean he has the right to it.

He was an arse but you need to let it go. Lots of people are arses.

He wouldn't have said that to a man, you do not need to apologise to these people (or owe them an explanation).

Some people find acting like a decent human being just too much for them. Do not engage or acknowledge them.

There was no need for his reaction, but you could have stopped and waited a few seconds for him to pass rather than swerve into his path. Did you not glance behind you to ensure the pavement was clear before swerving the puddle or was he walking along and you suddenly veered into the path he was taking?

There have been studies made that show that Women, on a course with a Man coming the other way, will almost always move to get out of his way. Almost never the man moving out of the way of a woman. Try it.
So yeah, look where you are going, but that applies to everyone, not just you, OP. He could have anticipated you moving to avoid the puddle, couldn't he, but he probably expected you to do something, anything, other than actually get in his way!

So it's male privilege when I get sworn at by young women pushing past with their push chairs. I get more abuse from women than men.

As for he wouldn't have said it to another man, I suspect he would. Angry people don't differentiate.

If you were driving would you have stopped?

I don't think the pp was saying that. Obviously women can be ignorant as well. I think she was alluding to the fact that alot of women encounter men behaving a way they would not do so to other men. And yes I have been run into by many a pushchair, they're usually the same candidates who fling their dcs out into the road in a disgusting dangerous attempt to stop traffic!

Londoner here. This is a pretty average exchange in the wild, I know it’s upsetting if you haven’t experienced it before but my top tip is always to act crazier than the other person. If it doesn’t look dangerous and is just a passing comment I simply swear back, if it’s intimidating I step away, if it looks like it’ll escalate I might do an enormous cackling laugh and do some crazy eye which has always made people back down.

Jumping out in front of someone walking along is incredibly rude, I'd have given you a piece of my mind too. You wouldn't do it driving a car, you shouldn't do it walking along. And to the person saying they don't check behind them when changing direction walking: you should, it's basic manners from the age of 11.

Dear Lord, have you never met a prick or wanker before?

I’ve also noticed, maybe just me, but if I am actively looking where I am going ie eyes up, and the other person is looking at the floor etc, they don’t move. They assume you will move as the more active and aware person in the scenario.

if you look at the floor, they move. Just my experience but try it and see. I always wondered if awareness is an assertion of dominance.

Angry men differentiate all the time. My son is gym built and 6ft 4. His face naturally says fuck you and these sorts stay well away when they are not trying to appease him through ‘respect’ and mate’ shit.

Similar thing happened to me years ago. A man came rushing towards me and nearly knocked me off my feet. He was so fast, I didn't have time to react. He called me a few names and walked off. I'd seen him around for years and it really threw me that he'd do that.

I walked away with tears in my eyes and couldn't stop thinking about it for a long time. But, you have to just tell yourself that there are some very odd people out there, and that it's not personal