To feel quite upset - just got told by a stranger to get out of his fucking way

[Acapulco12]

Was walking badk from the shops this morning and swerved to avoid a puddle on one side and another walker approaching me on th other side.

Whilst doing this, I was pretty much neck and neck with a guy who told me off for walking in front of him. I apologised and said I hadn’t meant to but wanted to avoid the puddle and the other guy. He then said, ‘avoid me!’ and then ‘get out of my fucking way’.

i know this is a tiny thing in the grand scheme of things but it upset me. I’ve never ever had this. It was like road rage, but between walkers.

I understand I shouldn’t have been in his way and walked in front of him and changed direction, but I explained why I did it and I didn’t deserve for him to speak to me so rudely. I said to him that he’d been very rude and he just strode off without saying anything.

Obviously he thinks he’s completely in the right, and maybe he’s also having a bad day, but it gives him no right at all to speak to me like that.

Probably is mainly men but the only time I experienced something similar it was from a young woman. I had just come out of hospital and had had a collapsed lung. I was walking up the high street fairly slowly and taking care not to get in anyone’s way. She bowled along behind me, nearly knocked me over, shouted “I fucking hate slow walkers” and disappeared into the distance. I was annoyed but fortunately couldn’t catch her up so just had to chill and forget it.

Ahh people are very aggressive these days.

The other day my buggy had the front wheel on lock so I could only go in a straight line. I noticed and was about to fix it but the pavement was busy. A guy let his toddler cross my path…. Instead of swerving the buggy (I couldn’t) I had to stop abruptly. He called me an idiot! And said I should watch out for kids. I hadn’t even run into the child or anything. He walked off, so I followed him and told him he was out of order and not to call people idiots when he should be watching his kids. He asked if I wanted a fight and said I was “jarring” 😂😂 I said he should grow up, and carried on (calling him a fucking twat in my head…) Just an example of things that happen these days but you can’t let it get you down. Bump into him all the time now and he always walks off to avoid the crazy lady who went off at him 🤪

I think a lot of us are walking around mildly triggered or anxious all the time. Due to how much the UK has gone down the tube; due to the terrible service that now exemplifies a lot of public and private institutions; due to Covid-related cognitive impairment; I could go on. It only takes a minor wrong or infraction and the reaction is completely disproportionate. To be honest, I've delivered up a couple of OTT reactions myself, and the big learning lesson (as I felt like a complete twat) was to relax and let it go. So OP, I can understand why you feel upset - but rest assured that bloke's reaction has nothing to do with you.

He probably would have said it to a “big bloke”

Last week, a man shouted at DH to “get out of the way, you bald cunt”

Some people are aggressive. Some people are startled if someone else suddenly veers into their path.

You've never had that experience before. His life will be absolutely chocker with them - because he's unpleasant and aggressive. I'm sure you were just one of a list of people he's upset this week. Someone nicer would have paused to let you you swerve and said 'After you'. Don't give it another thought, OP.

Of course he shouldn’t have spoken like that but I utterly hate it when people behave like you do, so Inconsiderate, people just stop and look at their phones, or swerve to avoid something. I’d not have said something but if I’m completely honest I’d have thought it.

He definitely shouldn't have spoken to you like that.

IMO there's an, what seems like ever growing, selection of people out there, Male and Female, that were just born to piss others off and he's just one of them that does a fine job of it.

No need to get into a conversation with them, you admit to walking in front of him, if there's ever a next time senario a quick "opps sorry" and walk away leaves no room for these twats to have their say.

Don't let it ruin your day..

I always try to turn it into a positive that I do not have such a person in my life and spend a moment feeling sorry for the people who do have him in their life as a partner, child or parent. There was one road rage guy and I remember his wife looked so down trodden and embarrassed by the whole incident.

Just yet another free-roaming wanker. Don't give him another thought. Says a million times more about him than it does about you.

Why exactly did you feel like you owed this women bullying wanker an apology!

He’s just a miserable bastard ignore. If he was paying attention he could have anticipated you would step in the direction you did because of the puddle and let you pass, but chose the forge ahead. Just be thankful you’re not that joyless, or living with him.

Bus driver yesterday.lots of anger around

I know what you mean. I went on a 2-week adults-only cruise last summer, and was honestly quite shocked by the number of downtrodden-looking women, just sitting/standing there looking sad and embarrassed, while their obnoxious husband held court or complained about something.

I check behind me when I'm walking. I thought it was normal? I like to know if there is anyone looking to get past me so I can move over for them, runners, people with dogs etc. I would especially do it if like the OP I was going to swerve out to avoid something. I feel like it's polite to be aware of what's going on around you.

What a really horrible thing to happen. I totally understand why you are upset, OP. Some people say ”brush it off” but it is hard to ignore an encounter with someone so horrible. It will go to the back of your mind before long; in the meantime, try to focus on other things. As for the man, well, he is clearly a miserable git with major problems!

@Acapulco12
Unfortunately I have experienced ''Pavement rage'' before.

Vile men.

One shoulder barged me for no reason I can think of other than I was young and female.

He had a face twisted with hatred.

Years later when another man did this I absolutely let loose calling him an impotent coward and why take his rage out on women?

Each time it was a man walking towards me who veered off his track and shoulder barged.

There are some nasty men around.

This 100%. You was not wrong you walking infront of him was a minor thing that most British people would say sorry and laugh of. There is absolutely no excuse for someone to be so aggressive to a stranger over something so minor.

Blimey. You did nothing wrong, OP. You were just trying your best to navigate your route. Some people are so critical and impatient.

An interesting point, thanks.

Never engage.
At most I’d smile and say breezily you have a good day. Really pisses off a wanker.

That is a really unkind and unhelpful comment. Why do you feel so superior?

He's a pathetic wanker who probably wouldn't dare say the same to a man. Don't take it to heart, his words say absolutely nothing about you and everything about him being a prick.

Try not to give him and his sad power trip any more headspace. If you can, find something positive to distract yourself with.

Complete overreaction on his part. Go listen to Shake It Off and out it to the back of your mind.

For people who live in cities this is a ludicrous suggestion.

They would be forever swivelling their heads behind them.

If someone is literally breathing down your neck, then one would hear them- or sense them.

I always think when people can be this rude to strangers, how will they treat their own family behind closed doors.