To feel quite upset - just got told by a stranger to get out of his fucking way

[Acapulco12]

Was walking badk from the shops this morning and swerved to avoid a puddle on one side and another walker approaching me on th other side.

Whilst doing this, I was pretty much neck and neck with a guy who told me off for walking in front of him. I apologised and said I hadn’t meant to but wanted to avoid the puddle and the other guy. He then said, ‘avoid me!’ and then ‘get out of my fucking way’.

i know this is a tiny thing in the grand scheme of things but it upset me. I’ve never ever had this. It was like road rage, but between walkers.

I understand I shouldn’t have been in his way and walked in front of him and changed direction, but I explained why I did it and I didn’t deserve for him to speak to me so rudely. I said to him that he’d been very rude and he just strode off without saying anything.

Obviously he thinks he’s completely in the right, and maybe he’s also having a bad day, but it gives him no right at all to speak to me like that.

I used to dwell on this stuff and be upset that someone thought badly of me, then I realised either they were having a bad day, or they were just a shitty, aggressive person, and either way I'd never see them again or if I did we wouldn't even recognise each other, so it honestly doesn't matter and isn't worth dwelling on.

There have been studies made that show that Women, on a course with a Man coming the other way, will almost always move to get out of his way. Almost never the man moving out of the way of a woman. Try it

I don't relate to this. I find middle aged couples holding hands the worst for pavement hogging and if they won't move over I stop and force them to go round me.

I had a situation in a supermarket once where I was stood by the shelves getting a couple of bottles of pepsi max, and when I went to the end of the trolley to head off I was stood there for two seconds just looking at the rest of the shelving as you do, and as I was backing to turn, a man and his son tried walking behind me as I was clearly looking the other way. All I suddenly got was 'watch where you're going!' as I stood there shocked in what was otherwise an empty aisle. No excuse me I'm coming or he could have just given me more time to turn and look in his direction. They're just pricks that you caught on a bad day, nothing to do with what you did.

Try not to let it spoil your day. Sounds like you misjudged the situation on the spur of the moment, but that really doesn't warrant someone swearing at you.

I work in a shop and sadly we get it a lot, and it's through some things we have absolutely no control over. It's just not necessary.

Poor guy? Ffs.
Op you inconvenienced him very slightly for a second or two, he is an impatient shit, don't spare him another thought.

I had someone punch me in the head once after we did the whole stepping into each others way trying to avoid each other…. Just turned around and punched me.

walker rage is right

Yes, I would have.

I completely understand I’m in the wrong on this and made a mistake. I am normally very careful when I’m walking and very respectful of others’ spade and their right to the road. I also do actually check behind me when walking when I’m going into a tight spot just to make sure I’m not unintentionally walking right in front of someone.

I didn’t today, though, and it’s taught me a lesson I’ll remember!

I still think his reaction was completely unnecessary and out of proportion to what I did though. I realise there could be many reasons for that though - e.g. he’s having a difficult day; he’s got an injury and was worried he would knock into him and hurt him; he’s just generally bad tempered.

@mrsdineen2 I'm in my late twenties and do normally how to navigate pavements and roads, i promise. I’m not a wayward 6 year old with no road awareness who’s just hacked their parents’ Mumsnet account 😂).

He sounds like a twat and I wouldn’t give him any head space.

You obviously shouldn’t have walked right in front of him but you did not deserve the abuse.

Jesus Christ. So sorry @IMBCRound2 . That’s horrific. How did you feel afterwards? Did you get a check up to make sure there was no damage or anything?

Swearing is pretty normal around here. Personally I do find it aggressive but nowadays every second word is a swear word or vulgarity especially with the younger people. Try telling a young mum you want to pass while she's standing in the middle of the pavement texting and you'll be told to F off you C. I'm an older woman and find men and younger men (teenagers) generally more respectfull than their female counterparts. As for supermarkets, worst place ever, women gathering to gossip blocking the aisle, ask them to move and they look at you as if you've stood in something then go back to their gossip.

Oh fgs why are people saying “oh you shouldn’t have got in his way” etc? OP has said she made a mistake and apologised to him. The guy was very rude. To swear at you was completely unnecessary and horrible. Just an angry person probably OP - maybe something tragic is going on in his life and this just tipped him over the edge. No excuse though - better off trying to forget about it.

He’s lucky he didn’t say that to the wrong person.

That was extremely rude of him. Similar happened to me and I felt demeaned. It’s a visceral reaction to being disrespected I think

Ignore the people saying he was justified OP- anyone with half a brain could have worked out that you were going to avoid the puddle right in front of him - rather than walk right through it. Its flipping obvious. If those people are that inept at anticipating other people's actions then I hope to goodness they arent drivers.

Yes, in a way, but he shouldn’t get away with saying it to everyone else!

It shouldn’t just give him free rein to just say it to certain people because he knows he won’t get a big physical/verbal reaction from them.

He needs to behave respectfully to everyone, not just those bigger and more powerful than him. This is something we all know and something we teach kids from when they’re really young. It’s basic human decency.

Absolutely. I’m sorry it also happened to you ❤️

You picked up a weapon?

To be honest, I shouldn’t really have specified if it was a man or a woman who did this - or a child. I don’t really think it matters.

Regardless of who it was, it was rude. I’d have felt equally upset if it hadn’t been a man, for the reasons that @combinationpadlock and @Friendofdennis mention. It was just really unpleasant.

This chap is not worth thinking about. Obviously a horrible person who likes to bullly women to speak to you in that way.
Forget him, he's an arse hole!

Let's be honest, he wouldn't have said it to a bloke - some men just like the fact that they can shout at women and intimidate them.

I remember being out with a couple of the dogs I walk, and we met a man with his collie. All the dogs were off the lead and it was on a wet, muddy path in a wet, muddy field. The dogs met and were having a play, and one of mine shook and got some mud on this man's trousers - he had a right go at me for it.

He went all red in the face and was properly shouting - I somehow got up the courage to ask him why he felt that shouting at a lone female was an appropriate way to behave. He went even redder and just walked off muttering to himself, lol.

I've seen him a few times since (small area) and he just looks the other way every time!

Yes I’d like to think we all teach human decency to our children.

But the fact remains, he was fortunate he didn’t react like this with the wrong person.

It’s not just about size. There are people from both genders and sizes that would not take that kind of verbal abuse on the chin. That is my point.

I think I would have uttered "cunt" as soon as he said that.

I'd have told him to fuck off, who does he think he is, I bet he wouldn't have said anything if you were a man

I still think his reaction was completely unnecessary and out of proportion to what I did though.

I think your own reaction is the one completely out of proportion. He didn't even call you a "fucking something", he just said to get out of his fucking way. He used a swear word. Is that REALLY such a massive deal?

Do you always react so strongly when you hear the word "fuck"?

You don't have to swear, I am not a big fan of swearing but come on, get a grip. It's such a non-event, how can you make it such a big deal?

but there's plenty of women who would have said the same thing to the OP, does that help?