To feel quite upset - just got told by a stranger to get out of his fucking way

[Acapulco12]

Was walking badk from the shops this morning and swerved to avoid a puddle on one side and another walker approaching me on th other side.

Whilst doing this, I was pretty much neck and neck with a guy who told me off for walking in front of him. I apologised and said I hadn’t meant to but wanted to avoid the puddle and the other guy. He then said, ‘avoid me!’ and then ‘get out of my fucking way’.

i know this is a tiny thing in the grand scheme of things but it upset me. I’ve never ever had this. It was like road rage, but between walkers.

I understand I shouldn’t have been in his way and walked in front of him and changed direction, but I explained why I did it and I didn’t deserve for him to speak to me so rudely. I said to him that he’d been very rude and he just strode off without saying anything.

Obviously he thinks he’s completely in the right, and maybe he’s also having a bad day, but it gives him no right at all to speak to me like that.

I can see both sides, it felt innocent to you, but it’s also incredibly annoying how people walk (and drive) around with no spatial awareness or consideration for other people. In the end, it does get beyond a joke. Maybe you’re just unfortunate and you were the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I’ve tested this in cities too as I got sick of people thinking that I should step into the road while they were waking 2, 3, 4 abreast across the whole pavement. Trust me, it it NOT just men, there are some ignorant, entitled arsehole women too!

One in particular was aghast that I walked right into her while she was walking with 5-6 friends taking up all the space. I either had to stop and break off my journey due to their entitlement, walk over a beggar who was sat against the wall in front of me, or maintain my course and have her move out of the way. Anyway, she didn’t. I was braced for it, she wasn’t 😂. Cunt.

If you can see someone in front of you, it's a busy pavement and there are obstructions, it's not unreasonable that someone might swerve to avoid something. As with driving, you shouldn't be so close that stopping is a problem.

I've had people stop suddenly in front of me on the pavement, and while it's annoying, I've managed not to bump into them or swear at them.

Bottom line - he was a wanker, and wouldn’t have said that to a big bloke who walked in front of him.

Of course we should all watch where we’re going but his response was way out of proportion and designed to intimidate you.

Maybe he was very very important and was on his way to do something very very important like brain surgery

Happened to me before at a busy train station but this woman pushed me, arms out and everything I chased her down and had a go at her, she said she was having a bad day, but I told her that doesn't mean she gets to assault someone.
wouldn't of if she was a man though, men these days have no respect for women, think we are on the same level

My advice is to not let this idiot bother you!
put it down as he’s just an ignorant prick and not worthy of your time…
As a friend tells me … put it in the fuckit bucket!!

@jannierI do get what you're saying and I used to think like you. However, like it or not, there's a power imbalance between a man and a women. A man being aggressive to a woman can be more frightening because of what that man can do to the woman if she answers back. Look at what happened to Natasha O'Brien and that's only one woman of thousands assaulted by men

What he is, is an angry man. After he walks away, he's taking that anger with him and carrying it around.

I think people need to put risk into perspective it's highly unlikely you would be attacked in these circumstances, you can't walk around cowering every time a man gets close or speaks loudly let alone swears ( unless you have experience of course but even then that's something to seek support with)....I don't understand how we have children in society if so many women are rendered so helpless by a man swearing when someone has been an arse. Few people are attacked in the streets in broad daylight.

Find it disconcerting how easily irritated and annoyed people get at others making harmless mistakes. He had absolutely no right to be so rude to you. Try to forget it.

I have asked DH.

I know it's frown upon on MN to ask your hubby, but he has a slightly different perspective than I have, him being a 6ft tall man with a beard, everything I am not.

He confirms that he has been told to Fuck Off by grumpy commuters, usually when he wasn't even in the way. He thinks he's more of a target because of his size, as it's unlikely he will thump back a swearing man and can't complain of feeling assaulted by words😂

Only one word for him - tosser.

Typical male reaction. I bet he wouldn't have said this to another man.

You might have said. "Foxtrot Oscar yourself" or

"Fuck, thank you,that's the nicest thing you could wish someone.

or maybe not

I don’t understand why people keep writing this. Genuinely, male on male violence is way more common than male on woman. Statistically and factually, so yes it’s likely not only would he have said it, he’d probably have lumped him one too.

This is the kind of thing that upsets me about where I live. Seemingly everyone, or at least those who don't drive for whatever reason, is like this. I find it really miserable and it gets me down. I don't know if not driving means that I'm more likely to encounter people who have a harder life (lack of money for driving lessons, having to walk around in pain or wet weather). They get really nasty over tiny things that wouldn't bother a normal person.

For example, I use a wheelchair so I do take up more pavement than someone walking. I have to go with the camber and texture of the pavement. So it might look like I'm in the middle of the path for no reason but that's not always the case. There is a steep hill I use to get home. It's smooth tarmac but it's so steep that my chair threatens to tip backwards. My partner walks behind me to push it forward so the front wheels are always in contact with the ground. There's a grid that isn't flush with the rest, right on the crest of the hill, which makes my chair lift right up. I go into the middle of the path to avoid it. A couple of weeks ago a couple were approaching just as I got to the top of the hill (I didn't see them because of how steep it is). The husband stepped into the non busy road to go around me and the wife stopped to let me past as I thanked them both and smiled. As I went past her she came really close to my face and said angrily through gritted teeth "you're meant to pull in to let walkers past, like you do in a car, a bloody 5yr old on a bike would know that". This wasn't some scruffy-looking person, it was a very well made up woman of about 60yrs old. I was totally shocked. Even if I was wrong there was no reason to speak to me like that.

It's played on my mind more than it should have done, like with what happened to you. I wonder if her husband suddenly veering off to one side and me appearing at the top of the hill jump scared her - like she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings - and the anger is a defensive thing?

I hadn't realised the world was so full of self entitled people! You were not in the wrong! You were walking along the pavement minding your own business, avoiding puddles and other people in your line of vision. Anyone who says that you were in any way responsible for his outburst, or who regularly gets irritated at other people for walking down the same street as them, needs to get some help and advice or medical treatment.

Obviously he was rude and needlessly aggressive, but it was also obviously OP in the wrong, and rude in a different way, to begin with.

When you're on a public path or pavement you need to be aware of other people around you, which includes behind you if you're going to veer across. It takes a second to look behind you. I'm absolutely sick of people who wander around public paths as if no one else exists. Have I ever sworn out loud at other pedestrians? Maybe only once or twice in egregious circumstances, but you bet I've thought what this man said a lot more.

OP was lucky, in terms of this thread, that the person she was rude to was an aggressive man who was even ruder back to her. Because given her lack of care, she could have easily veered into the path of an elderly woman or disabled person, or made someone fall over, and then absolutely no one would be reassuring her that she was in the right.