To think a lot of men aren't that bothered about women being ultra slim?

[Voilafrancais]

From what I've seen around me, men seem to be happiest with average-sized/curvier women.

A colleague of mine is a football player and very into fitness and his girlfriend is quite overweight, they've been together 6 years.

A man I liked who is quite thin, he wasn't interested. His ex is at our workplace and is significantly overweight.

I know this sounds nasty and rude, it probably is. However I feel like on the whole men aren't that bothered about women having figures like Victoria's Secret models, and personality is more important.

Was thinking the same …

Healthy is sexy.
Confidence is sexy.

Most women are biologically curvy and if you look back throughout history (Greek statues etc) you can see that women’s curves have always been admired.

So most men would prefer a woman with curves over someone who is too skinny or too fat.

But everyone has their own type and I know men who would only date women under size 10 or only date women over size 16.
I also know men who wouldn’t date a woman that was too short or too tall etc.

Just like women, men can be incredibly picky about the type of women they date but most of them actually don’t care and find a range of bodies attractive.

As a woman, I would prefer a man that was not too slim or not too big and I think that’s a biological thing that many people have, because being too slim or too big is linked with being unhealthy.

I think men are simple creatures really and we probably give them too much credit. They generally like naked women of any variety.

I hate that song too. The line about "anorexic chicks..." is so awful for those of us who have been there, like we fucking chose to be, like mental illness can be used as an acceptable insult to thin women (clue: there are no acceptable insults to anyone of any size). REALLY hate that song! Can you tell?!

Yep mine too.

My experience (for both women and men tbh) is that confidence, self-assurance humour and cheerfulness comes way before exact body weight or looks for both sexes in terms of attracting people. There probably is something in the fact that people who confirm to our ‘standard modern western’ idea of what it is to be attractive may be more likely to be confident etc - but I know many exceptions in both directions!

I certainly agree that I am far more critical as a woman about my own body being ‘perfect’ than the average man would place any importance on. All people have different preferences but I would say most men are generally open to women within a much healthier range then the diet industry would have you believe

I absolutely despise the whole narrative of this thread. So many people are switching seamlessly between talking about what men find sexy and what looks good. The measure of what looks good is not what is sexually desirable to a man. People saying "oh it's just other women who think being skinny looks good, men like boobs and bums" as if the opinion of another woman counts for shit but the opinion of a hips-and boob-loving red blooded male is gospel. It's bullshit. You are the only person who has to live in your body. What looks good is whatever looks good to you.

I don't give a fuck if a man wants something to grab on to while he fucks me. He either can think of ways to engage in mutually enjoyable sex that works for both of our body types, or he can go elsewhere. Why should the standard of what a man wants in a sexual context have any relation to what I want my body to look like?

Anecdotally, I much prefer my body to be smaller. My breasts dropped from an F to a B cup after breastfeeding and I've become scrawnier. I was very happy, I feel better in my body. Sometimes I worry that I've internalised the male gaze and like it more now precisely because it's a less sexually desirable shape - and so less sexualisable - but truthfully it's just a body I feel more comfortable in. It will be a dark day indeed when a man's sexual tastes trump my own feelings about my body in the race to determine whether I "look good".

I don’t think men in general care if women are bigger or slim. That was my point, smiley and nice is attractive

I don’t think attractiveness correlates to a societal idea of what “looks good”. Being happy in one’s skin is attractive, without striving to be so

I think it’s probably hard to generalise about men in general and what they like - same as to generalise about women’s preferences.

I think once you know some one your perception of attractiveness changes as you factor in their personality, confidence etc. It’s when you’re dating on line that people get hung up on arbitrary specifications.

However I think people generally are attracted to someone who appears healthy, is in proportion etc, as it’s our biological programming.

In general I agree, but I suppose I'm also against the very idea that women should measure how good their body looks by how sexually attractive they are to men.

We don't measure the beauty of any other creature or thing on earth based on how much a man wants to have sex with it. Why should we measure women this way?

I’m naturally a size 8, proportionate boobs but a decent curvy bum and honestly I know men look at my body all the time even though I’m mid fourties’ and not interested at all. My husband loves my body and always has. I can’t say how he’d feel if I was much larger than this. However I think men do have a type, they all have their own preference and that’s on them not me, I’m happy as I am as we all should be. Who cares what they think!?!

What do you class as thin and as curvy? You know that you can be slim e.g. size 8 and not be straight up and down i.e. curvy. Slim is not the same as thin/underweight, and curvy is not the same as fat/overweight.

I personally think that a body that does not have excess fat is more attractive than one that does, no matter whether that person is short. tall, naturally curvier, more muscular or very slight.

Information gathered over the years indicates to me that some men don't mind a big bum, hips or breast or thighs but do like a small waist and ankles.

I think some men feel relieved if they’re involved with a woman who’s attractive but could stand to lose some weight. If their girlfriend isn’t flawlessly fit, then they’re free of the pressure to be flawlessly fit to keep her attracted to them.

Between kids, depression, and metabolism, I’ve gained about thirty pounds since I got married twelve years ago. I feel self-conscious about it, but my husband doesn’t seem to care about it. “Well, it’s not like I’m exactly super-buff myself…”

There are billions of men and so will be billions of indvidual preferences. Some will have a preference for slimmer/bigger/short/tall/extroverted/introverted/big boobs/small boobs and so on and on. Men are not one homogeneous group. Same as women. Do women prefer bigger men with a big beer belly or do they prefer more fit men with a slimmer physique? I'd say it's just down to personal preference so no need to put anyone down slim or bigger.

I agree, I’ve been in many a changing room and I would say fat bodies are most certainly not more attractive but not everyone thinks the same.

I must say though, the ‘OMG aren’t slim women the worst? They all have eating disorders and are boring and men don’t even like them anyway’ threads are just tedious nonsense now.

Forgive me if I don’t fall for the ‘I am super happy in myself with being overweight so let’s talk about how awful slim women are’ narrative. If you all were really happy being overweight then you wouldn’t have to work so hard to convince others that you are happy and slim people are miserable.

There’s a difference between slim and skinny. Men tend to like women with good figures and it’s hard to have a good figure if you’re overweight.

60% of men are overweight or obese themselves so this preference may be somewhat hypothetical.

Someone did a study years ago, about what body type men found most attractive. They used Playboy magazines over decades. What they found was that trends in desirable sizes / overall "fatness" or "thinness" changed quite a lot over time. But the waist / hip ratio remained the same - that is, a slim waist compared to hips was always preferred. Interestingly, this shape is also associated with high future fertility, so it all just goes back to that.

I've found since having children (I now look like an absolute potato with no discernable waist at all), I catch my OH giving me adoring eyes sometimes, particularly when he's noticed me doing something nice with the children, or we've had a really lovely family day out. He doesn't appear to be less attracted to me now, so other things must make people attractive or not long-term. Not weight so much though, that I've noticed. Again, might be a case of subconsciously keeping around women who are kind to your offspring! So they are more likely to survive to adulthood and give you grandchildren...

Yep, that’s vile and unacceptable. And the smugness of the lyrics.. And also it’s just a shit song. 🫤

There is a certain type of man who cares very much about having a slim woman on his arm. He loves the social privilege an attractive partner gives him and how it "raises his status" especially with other men. I think it's a red flag and it is mad how many men like this will date or marry a woman they don't really like but they like the shiny packaging. It's a minority though.

When I've been slim I've had a problem with dickheads approaching me (as well as nice men). When bigger I still get approached but less dickheads!

A normal, nice man will be more interested in a connection and attraction.

I've recently lost a couple of stone and get so so so much more male attention now

All men are different. Every man has his own preferences.

I find it so weird when Mumsnet talks about men as if they were some kind of separate, homogenous species.

Most men can't get a Victoria Secret model

God, this thread is so 2005, when we still cared what men thought.

All those articles in Cosmo along the lines of: 'how to REALLY make him want you' and '10 things that will drive him crazy'.

Surely we're past that now?!

Idgaf what men think. Or anyone else for that matter. I just look the way I look – which, obviously, happens to be drop dead gorgeous, absolute 10/10 if I may say so myself – and that's THAT.