For those suggesting there is something bigger going on with the daughter, there could be of course, but...
Obviously things have moved on in terms of parenting ideas and approaches but, parenting approaches used to broadly fall into 3 approaches (and probably still do really they're just given diffeent names now) authoritarian, authoritative and permissive.
Authoritarian - little freedom, little flexibility, do want I say, no questions asked. Overly harsh unrelated consequences.
Authoritative - boundaries. Children have some freedom to make decisions and are heard and learn to make good choices but ultimately the parent is in control. Natural consequences.
Permissive - children can do what they want. No boundaries. No consequences.
Sheep analogy...
Authoritarian - a sheep in a tiny pen, can't move. Can't turn round. Can't easily do anything without someone else's permission. Sheep is restricted and doesn't have chance to exercise or make any choices for itself. It never learns how to manage itself so, when let out of the pen, goes a bit wild.
Authoritative - sheep is in an appropriately sized pen. It has freedom to move and walk and go from one side to the other. But it can always see the fence. It knows where the boundaries are. It learns.
Permissive - sheep is in a big, wide field. There is no fence and so no boundaries. Whilst it initially feels great to the sheep, it doesn't know how far it can stray, if it's gone too far, when it needs to come back, how to get back. There is no sense of safety or boundaries because there are none.
Not explained brilliantly because no one wants to read an essay!
But the OP's daughter is likely to be behaving so badly because she's trying to (even subconsciously) find out where the boundaries are. Boundaries show children that they are loved and cared about by someone who wants to keep them physically, emotionally and mentally safe. She doesn't feel that because it doesn't exist in her world. So her behaviour becomes more extreme and unfathomable (at 12 that might look like pointlessly throwing compost into the house).
So the more extreme, unfathomable behaviours aren't necessarily because there is something deeper or worse going on, but are quite likely because she is craving the security of some sort of boundary and sense of safety, where she fits into the world, how she impacts on it, etc.
People thrive on discipline. Not punishment but learning self discipline and managing themselves because it gives them a sense of control. Which is why natural consequences are more effective than arbitrary 'punishments'. Without them, people end up learning that nothing they do matters. They have no impact on the world. Who am I that people care so little? They don't understand the impact they have on others because nothing they do has an impact. That, in turn, impacts on the development of their sense of self.
OP, your husband thinks she will respect him if he's always nice to her. If he's always protects her from the consequences to her actions. Unfortunately, people don't work that way.