I have been divorced for several years we have one child.
it has been acrimonious- lots of coercive behaviour on his part, no child support, changing agreements to suit himself and a couple of years ago I bit the bullet and went to family courtI which he was furious about especially as he was hauled over the coals for his behaviour towards me and our daughter.
at the point of starting to court I promised myself I would not allow him to appeal to my better character as I have done in the past- if he refuses to meet me halfway, I’m not making up for his deficit anymore kind of thing.
since final orders he has spat the dummy out big time and seen our tween twice in 8 months. However for the last couple of months he has been sending me messages asking me to organise time for our DD to spend time with another ex of his with whom he shares a five year old daughter.
to my knowledge my daughter has not spend much time with this child although knows it’s her sister and probably sees a handful of times a year.
the texts are basically asking me to do the running around dropping her off and picking her up, organising a birthday card from our daughter to his other daughter and arranging ‘suprise’ video calls to his other daughter who apparently is having a rough time at school. He forwards me emotionally charged texts from the other baby mum saying that their kid is crying for our kid etc (which I think is rubbish because they don’t really know each other that well)
the line in the sand part of me thinks none of this is anything to do with me and if he wants his kids to build a relationship he has had bloody years to do so- and if he wants to start now he needs to organise all this himself.
the part of me that is my true character thinks I should just do it to make sure the kids spend time together it’s neither of there faults that their dad is a spectacular disappointment
my daughter has been let down by her dad so much I’m worried this too will end up in disappointment and frankly I’m sick to death of picking up his slack. Anything to do with him or his family makes me cringe as they have treated me so badly over the years.
i know what the “right” thing is but AIBU to just say not my problem?