Can someone explain married people’s surnames?

[henpp]

If you marry, do both people have to have the same surname? Do you have to decide on which to have together? Could one of you double barrel and the other not?

You can do whatever you want!

You do not have to have the same surname.

You can do what you want but i didn't really care i just took DHs as i wanted us all to have one single barrelled name.

You can take your spouse’s name
They can take your name
You can create a new name
You can keep your names the same

No, no and yes.

Whatever you want. I use mine and husband's name, I don't hyphenate. Husband just has his own, kids have both and hyphenate.
You can do what you want. People will mention the feminist reasoning behind keeping your own, but do what you feel comfortable with.

Why did dh not take yours?

o/p you can do what you want. Keep your own name, change it to something totally different. Marriage makes no difference.

funny though as 99% of men have nicer/easier to pronounce surnames so women always seem to be the one who changes.

that or women are “proud to be married” so change their names to reflect that. Men clearly not so much pride in their marital status or they’d be fighting to do it as well.

I don’t like double-barrelling, either take his name or don’t.
Or both take her name, if that’s the preference. Same for kids.

In the UK it traditionally the woman takes her husbands surname Mr & Mrs Smith. And babies take their mums name Baby Smith

A fair percentage still do.

But it's tradition, not law and nothing is set in stone.

Basically, nothing automatically changes when you get married. Since traditionally women have taken their husband's surnames, most institutions (such as passport agency, bank) will accept a marriage certificate as evidence if you tell them you want to change the name on your records. If you want to do something less conventional, then possibly you may be asked to do a quick deed poll for evidence (which might be simpler). If you keep your surname, you don't need to do anything. There are no laws about what anyone's name should be upon marriage or divorce. Under English law, your name is whatever you are known as.

We just kept our names the same, it was the lazy option.

You can do whatever you like.

We didn’t change names - we still have the same surnames we’ve always had.

It seems antiquated/ old fashioned for the wife to take the husbands name.

In the UK (as of 15yrs ago when I last read about this) marriage doesn't automatically change the legal surname of either party getting married, although the woman gains the additional right to be legally known under the man's surname in addition to her own. Conventionally women take up this right and stop using their maiden name, update their passport to show the preferred new name etc, but it is very much not required (and you can carry on with both together if you like, e.g.: for work and at home). I do not know how this works with marriages containing two women or two men.

If you are a woman and want to totally drop your maiden name for some reason, or a man wants to take a woman's surname, or you both want to take a totally different surname, you can but you will need a deed poll, which is a different legal document unconnected to the marriage paperwork. It is also not that uncommon for one or both people to take the opportunity to change their middle name(s) with a deed poll at the same time as the wedding.

Anyone can change their name to anything they like in the UK. (Well, unless its actually offensive)
You can even use two different names simultaneously as long as you aren't doing it to decieve people (so use your birth name professionally and a married name socially)

Two women married here. We chose a new surname for us both, one that had been in the family in the 1800s. We both got deed polls done by the registrar when we did the notice of intention to marry.

As previously said, you can choose what name to go by.

I kept mine because it's my mum's name and I like having that connection to her. Also it's not an English name so feels like part of my heritage.

My husband kept his because it never occurred to him he'd ever change it.

Our children have both names, if they ever express the desire to drop one or the other that's fine with me.

I stuck with my maiden name for a bit because I couldn’t be bothered changing it. I only changed it when I got pregnant as we agreed baby would have my husband’s name (it is a better surname than mine anyway).

You can do whatever you want there are no rules you have to follow.

You and your partner/spouse decide.

I decided to double barrell, DH didn’t and DDs have both names.

@henpp so what happens when a child with a double barrelled name marries another child with a double barrelled? do their children then have quadruple barrelled name?????

I kept my name when I got married. It’s part of my identity and I wanted to keep it for work.

People often refer to me as Mrs Husband’s Name which annoys me but I suppose it is (or was) traditional. Absolutely no rules nowadays!

Me too.

I correct every single person who refers to me as Mrs HisName, and I don't care what people think about that!

This ALWAYS comes up!

Those two adults decide at the time what to do - pick one name from each, pick one name from the four etc.

They can pick whichever two names go together, or pick a totally new surname, or one take the others, there are a lot of choices.

When I got married for the second time, my children wanted me to keep the same name (ie my ex-husband’s surname) so I would continue to have the same name as them. I asked my husband to be whether he would mind and he said no, so I continue to have a name that isn’t actually mine at all. It works for us! And if I am called Mrs current husband’s surname, that doesn’t bother me either. People do what they want to, and what suits them, and some people mind much more about it than others.