Can someone explain married people’s surnames?

[henpp]

If you marry, do both people have to have the same surname? Do you have to decide on which to have together? Could one of you double barrel and the other not?

You can choose your father's name or your husband's father's name.

Or you can both keep the name that has been yours since birth. The name that is associated with your life, and which is associated with all the life experiences and achievements that have made you the adult you are on the day you get married.

And those of you who say they couldn't wait to change their name? There can be excellent reasons for this, of course-so no need to wait to get married! It can be done easily and inexpensively online.

No, thats incorrect, like wives husbands just need to use their marriage cerificate as proof of their name change, you also don’t need a deedpoll to both change to a completely new name.

Surnames are an emotive subject so yes discuss it but you can decide what to do. I changed mine first time but haven't decided what to do when I remarry, could take my mothers maiden name if I don't take my new husband's ;he doesn't mind)

What?? How do you not know this??

Weird that it’s always the husbands name which is nicer and easier to spell?
I’ve been married nearly 30 years and kept my surname as did my sister and sister in law.

I have my own surname but do use Mrs.
This is becas I changed my surname by deed poll back to my Mum’s maiden name at 18 (born before their divorce finalised but had grown up without father and we wanted to be the same as the rest of the family). I am proud of my surname :)

Kids have my husband’s and I have never had to travel with them without him bit if we did I would just take the relevant paperwork. I loath double barreled surnames so that wasn’t an option and I have no issue with them having his name.

It's trad for children to have mother's name. If she's already changed hers to husband's, they all have same name.

What's not trad, and is weird (I think), is for unmarried men to insist that their child has male surname cos it's trad. It's not. It's just what they want.

I had an extremely common surname and my husband has a rare surname which is far further up the register. I always hated being last for everything and didn't want the same for my children so was excited I got to 'upgrade' my surname when we got married.

I may have felt differently if I had a more interesting surname from the start!

So sad to lose our traditions. I live in quite a traditional rural area and every house/ farm Is known by the family name. Many have been the same for years/ generations.

In the UK?
Yes. You can do whatever you like. 🤷 Keep yours, change yours to the man's, change his to yours, change it to both or pick an entirely new one.

That's because the op asked what you can do not what people usually do.

You need those documents to travel whether you have the same surname or not.

you must be able to show you have permission from all parties with PR.

surnames are irrelevant.

Traditions can be good but the majority of women automatically taking their husbands surname on marriage is antiquated and derogatory.

I’ve recently researched my family tree.

i can follow the male line no problem. Birth certs, death certs.

if I want to follow the female line it is a million times harder. Once their names change they’re a nightmare to keep track of.

we’re losing our female history because of tradition.

"His was nicer and easier to spell."

Ah yes, the old "men's last names are so much nicer and easier to spell" trope! 🤣

My name is nicer than my husband’s

I kept it 😀

Split when mine were 12,14, 17. They have exes surname (we weren’t married and it was my choice as I’ve spelt my name out every single time I’ve given it!). Anyway, I never provided any documentation that he had my permission for them to travel when he took them abroad.

I actually kept my first husbands surname! I'm now married to DH2 but kept it as I didn't want a different last name to DD.

When she's grown up I will probably change it to my current DHs name.

It was your name not your father's.

Why is it your husband's name not his father's name? Men don't own names.

All the women in my circle kept their own names. Most also gave their children their own. As did I.

Makes far more sense. The divorce rate is high. Women are nearly always the primary carers, many fathers become absent. It is more practical for children to have the mum's name.

And if its Your name, its yours to change if you want to.

People are entitled to their own opinions on their own name. Simply...I like my married surname more than I did my birth surname. I love my family, but wasn't attached to the name.
I've very attached to my married surname. It suits our family.

Do you have any brothers? Did they get their own names?

You can do what you want. Tradition is a solution to problems that we forgot existed. Just because it's considered antiquated doesn't mean we shouldn't do it/use it. I took my husband's name as per tradition and didn't double-barrel it. I didn't like my maiden name much anyway.

No that’s wrong, a man can take the woman’s surname with a marriage certificate, no deed poll required. Either party can take the other’s name or any combination of the two names, it’s the same for same sex couples.