Can someone explain married people’s surnames?

[henpp]

If you marry, do both people have to have the same surname? Do you have to decide on which to have together? Could one of you double barrel and the other not?

You don't have to change to your husband's surname. It's not LAW. Many women do though. Despite what you may read on here.

Almost all the women I know from 21 to 101 changed their surname to their husband's surname. Working class, middle class, and upper class, from all walks of life, from many different backgrounds, and varying levels of education, and varying careers, (professional, and non-professional, and unskilled.)

Roughly 85% of women take their husband's surname in the UK. It may seem like many on Mumsnet keep their maiden name (as many posters claim they do,) but in real life, only around 15% of married women keep their own surname, and around 85% take their husband's.

Never saw the point of double barrelling. Would make more sense to pick half of each name and mangle them together.

Because that needs a dead poll which is a pain in the arse and costs extra. I have a marriage certificate that I’ve already paid for and it’s really easy to change your name if you have a marriage certificate. Why pay out extra when your marriage certificate does the job?

Don’t have to change your name. But if you change to anything else than your husband’s name, you need a deed poll. Similarly, husband changing name need a deed poll.

If you marry, do both people have to have the same surname? No
Do you have to decide on which to have together? No, but it will help to discuss it
Could one of you double barrel and the other not? Yes

If they want to, or not

sesquipedalian
so I continue to have a name that isn’t actually mine at all
If it's the name you are called then it is your name. Regardless of where it came from it's yours.

I took my husbands surname. I wanted to have the same name as my children and never really gave it a thought. His was nicer and easier to spell. Reading these type of posts is interesting because thinking about it I don’t know one couple where the wife has kept her own name.

No they don’t. Our passports, driving licenses, and all other documents have our two surnames on, and neither of us changed by deed poll

So the choice is usually your husband’s name or your father’s name! I couldn’t wait to get rid of my father’s name.

There’s nothing to explain, really. You can call yourself whatever you want, whether you’re married or not. There’s no agreement necessary.

@SummerBarbecues , that's not true.

It strikes me as odd that everyone says “you can do whatever you want” and yet, the vast majority of women still seem to want to drop their surname in favour of their husband’s? I know it’s tradition but a pretty obviously sexist one and I can’t fathom why women would want to uphold this.

So the choice is usually your husband’s name or your father’s name! I couldn’t wait to get rid of my father’s name

How so? If you want to word it like that then isn't the choice between your husbands fathers name, or your own fathers name? Why do men 'own' their surnames, but women are just borrowing them from fathers or husbands?

I kept mine, OH his, and the children have double-barrelled surnames. IF they get married and decide they need to change their surname, they can choose any they want. I didn't want my OH's name, it's not my name. I like the link to my family.

@Chocochick , me too. I changed mine because I preferred his, but he offered to change his to mine.

You don't have to 'fathom' anything. Women have freedom to do what they like in the UK (within the law,) and if taking their husband's surname on marriage makes them happy and they want to do it, then so be it. They don't need your approval, or for you to 'fathom' why they do it. You do you hun.

I'm with you on this. It isn't a popular view but I don't understand why so many women still do it. Choicy choicy nicey nicey and all that but it is a strange practice!

Somewhere along the line I changed my name on my passport but never with dvla. So I have official photo ID in both names.

It has never been an issue, declared it in the 'known by any other names' box for PVG clearance and zero issues.

And yet a staggering 85% of women in the UK do it. Take their husband's surname on marriage.

Fancy that! It being such a STRANGE PRACTICE and all!

@FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot: freedom is an illusion and no, the UK does not have more of it than many other countries (much to a lot of Brits’ chagrin who have been told their country is a beacon of free choice). It is an anachronistic practice since marriage is meant to be an equal partnership and there is no equality in women overwhelmingly ditching their name and adopting the husband’s one.

In future generations it might be different but the name I was born with was my father’s name. That is because for hundreds of years that is how things were done. I am not saying it was right. Even now, a mother may keep her father’s name but the name a child gets is usually the father’s or some double barrelled version.

We both double-barrelled. DH had to legally change his name by deed poll but I didn’t have to🤷‍♀️

Chip on your shoulder much?

When I got married, we created a new name - I have a very traditional Scottish surname, so we "Scottished" his surname