Can someone explain married people’s surnames?

[henpp]

If you marry, do both people have to have the same surname? Do you have to decide on which to have together? Could one of you double barrel and the other not?

@Moanycowbag yeah I get you

One thing I don’t like is when people double barrel and say the child can choose which one to drop when they get married - it’s like asking them to choose which parent they like best.

@ThursdayTomorrow "One thing I don’t like is when people double barrel and say the child can choose which one to drop when they get married - it’s like asking them to choose which parent they like best."

We've said this to our children at every life stage from starting school onwards, reassuring them that it's an entirely free choice, no emotional blackmail involved!They are adults now and remain hyphenated.

I took my DH’s surname because seemed like a nice thing to do at the time.15 years later, I miss my nicer maiden name and kind of regret taking his but it would seem a bit odd to randomly change it back when we’re still happily married!

We weren't married when our first child was born. In my hormonal state, I couldn't bear the thought of having a different name to my child. It was actually the registrar who suggested double barrelled! So we went with Mothers Surname, Father's Surname, (no hyphen).

A few years later when we did go on to marry - the names were discussed. We decided to ask our child's opinion. He said he liked having both names as it represented both parents. He suggested that we all have both names... so that's what we did! Our unique family name.

*no deed poll required either -a marriage certificate is enough for both people.

Also, when we went to update child's birth certificate (as required by Law after marriage) the registrar then put both names for both parents.

We are also both able to use our individual names for work purposes and each have bank accounts in one name, with the joint account being in our joint names.

So yes, lots of options... do what works best for you!

so when women drop their family name on marriage, that is them choosing their new husbands family? Choosing which set of parents they like best?

the majority of women drop their name completely. So I don’t quite get this logic.

Poppycock

Men don't own names. A woman doesn't have her father's name. She has her own.

My name is my own.

my daughter shares my surname, but her name is her own.

As far as I am concerned, the second the birth certificate was written, I no longer had any rights to name my child. I had one window, I exercised that window, and from that moment forward, the name and control of the name belonged solely to her.

Repeating my post from earlier as the PP I asked didn't reply. But I'd love to know who's name I have.

Incidentally who's surname do I have?
When I was born I was given "my father's" name.
Never married or changed my name.

When my DS1 was old enough he changed his surname to one we had made up.
When DS2 was old enough he also changed his to match. So i changed mine as well.
Who's name is it? It's not my Father's or Husbands. Maybe its my sons?

IMO it's mine. But so was my previous one regardless of where it came from.