To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

[grengat]

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

And there's never going to be a 'level playing field' where all kids get the same because parents will pay or have time/knowledge to offer another level of support/input. Some parents will have more resources regardless and some less.

Some kids will have more natural ability at some things than others. What would you do about that? Stop the good footballers joining a club?

Oh come off it. Kids move schools all the time, for all sorts if reasons and cope perfectly well.
This odious woman has been rubbing the op's nose in it for years, and now karma has got her!

Most of the time, people are just proud and excited about their achievements and children. Talking about these things is not showing off, but if you are always looking from a jealous point of view you will take it like that!

If anything , she will probably now have more money and will indulge in other things that will probably trigger your green eyed monster!

J for jealousy, my friend

I'm no fan of private education but...

how weird and spiteful to be pleased at the misfortunate of other, innocent people.

Why would you ever be happy about something clearly going wrong for someone? It's not nice, is it?

What a nasty person you are. I’m sure this child has done nothing to you, and you are finding great satisfaction in the fact that part of their life is now disrupted. They have to leave their friends, start a school as the new kid and adapt to a different environment through no fault of their own.

You are either seriously jealous or seriously miserable. What a vile vile human being you must be.
That poor child and your poor neighbour is probably devastated that she can no longer afford to give her child the best opportunities, which was clearly very important to her.

Yes I don’t think this has anything to do with one’s stance on private school…

It is just spiteful and nasty.

The OP is a grown woman. As you say, it’s been years. So why at no point has she just cut this neighbour off mid-brag and said “Oh, how nice - anyway, must dash”? Why is she friends-ish with her instead of keeping her at arm’s length and tuning out from the running commentary on the virtues of private schools?

It seems like OP has been too wet to distance herself and has now gone to the other extreme of being delighted in her neighbour’s misfortune - even though it affects the child far more than the parent.

The child is losing his friends, his routine, everything he is used to at school and is likely to be unsettled and stressed and you are happy about it. Lovely.

and yes my kids are at a state school

I would worry less about her and more about the fact you sound like an immature bitch. But you do you I guess.

You sound delightful!

"All kids should start from the same place."

They do.
Born naked and covered in bodily fluids.

It is your problem you did not sort your life enough to provide things for your child you are so obviously envy other children have.

Yes of course your kids are feeling worthless 🙄

Why didn’t you lead with this if it is true?

Well given she said in front of my dc that ‘somewhere has to produce doctors and lawyers’ … yes I think she’s pretty unkind and made my dc feel worthless

Bit of a drop feed eh? Perhaps if you'd put this in your original post you'd have had a bit more sympathy.

As it stands, well done for being brave enough to post this anonymously on a public forum. I hope you can sleep better tonight now that you've got that off your chest

Some posters think that the poor boy is going to some young offenders institution lol

Wow.

I think it was more that the neighbour herself viewed herself as above the op in social status. It wasn't about the child

Kind of get where you are coming from OP.

ds had a classmate in primary who went to private secondary school while ds went to local low performing catchment.

Every single time we saw the mum (she owns a popular local restaurant and bar we go to now and again) all she could talk about was how well he was doing, how bad she felt for our ds as his awful school (even though I said he was doing well), how her ds’s school focussed on the academics and really pushed and had aspirations for the kids, that the 90 min round trip drive twice a day was worth it to give him the best etc. Sometimes in front of ds.

She was speechless when she asked ds about his results to find out he got straight As in all his NAT5 and Higher exams (Scotland) and her son had more mixed results and I must admit, even though I wish them no ill will, I did enjoy it after her constant bragging about the private school and running down ds’s school.

Your neighbour sounds thoroughly unpleasant to me. I am clearly in the minority but I can understand the schaudenfraude. You definitely appear to be feeling this in relation to the mum and not the boy.

leveling the field by pulling people down, rather than insisting that people are pulled up.

Spoken like a true socialist OP. Perhaps your kid struggles because you have an attitude towards life. Envious and small minded.

So by haven’t you done more to give your kid the same chances that your neighbour’s kid has had?