9 year old left in park for 10 minutes

[Italianasoitis]

My 9 year old son went to his friend's house after school. The dad collected them both from school and took them to the park. When my son got home, he said that the dad went back home to get something and left both my son and his friend (both 9) alone for 10 minutes. In this time my son fell over and grazed his knee and said an old lady came over to him to see if he was OK. Son wasn't frightened, hurt or upset amd while he is quote mature for his age, I have never left him alone for any amount of time. I'm annoyed and am not sure if I'm being unreasonable. I feel like I can't trust the parents again. Am I mad? I can be a bit over protective but aibu in thinking you don't leave 9 year olds alone in the park? Or maybe it's OK. I don't know. What do you all think?

I would leave a couple of 9year olds alone in a park for 10 minutes. It is going for children to have manageable amounts of independence and responsibility.

“Can’t trust the parents again?”
Sorry but that seems like an over reaction to me. Your son wasn’t left on his own, and you said that he is mature for his age. Don’t smother …

Maybe. I just kind of wanted that to be my call to make, based on my own assessment of the situation. Anyway I'm happy to know I'm bu actually.

I think if you are responsible for another parents 9 year old child then no you shouldn’t leave them. If you choose to leave your own 9 year old alone in the park that’s your parenting choice, but imo you shouldn’t be leaving another child there especially if you’re meant to be looking after them.

YANBU

It's fine to do this with your own child imo although I wouldn't. You should not do this with someone else's without checking it's ok with their parents.

Depends on the park I suppose. If it was a fairly run of the mill safe park then I'd think it would be fine. Kids fall over and it doesn't seem to have affected your son too much. I'd struggle to get worked up about this to be honest.

I think its a very borderline age. Lots of kids will be walking to the park and staying there for hours at that age, and the parents wouldn't think twice about it. And lots will have never been left alone at all.

So YANBU, and they should have checked. But its not wildly wrong.

agree with this! I was definitely going to the park (at the end of my road) without parents around this age, just had to be back in time for dinner

Mine goes to the park now with his friends and they are nine/just turned ten. It’s a v safe area though. And he has a tracker watch he can call me on. So I depends on the kind of area you live in?

We have a 3 tier system and all the children walk home from school from summer year 4 so I wouldn't have worried about them at the park at that age, however, if I was in charge of someone else's child and I didn't know if they were NT and used to being unsupervised for 10 minutes I wouldn't have left them.
Tbh if you have taught them about stranger danger and staying with friends then it shouldn't be a problem: imo it's the parents rather than the child that made me a bit overprotective with other peoples' children. Better safe than sorry!

9 is the age you start doing this kind of thing imo. I wouldn’t think anything of it. I’m not usually a “chilled” parent but this would seem reasonable to me. I have 3dds agreed 12-16, for context.

I'd have left my 9yo like that. I probably wouldn't have left someone else's 9yo for fear of a reaction like yours, but I don't think it's unreasonable that he did.

I personally would. Plus he would've grazed his knee regardless of who was or wasn't there.
Totally normal, and once they are getting to secondary age they'll need to go pretty much everywhere alone. So just chill out.

My two would have walked to a park and hung out for a few hours then walked home, at age 9. I wouldn’t think twice leaving him and a friend there while popping home. It genuinely wouldn’t hVe occurred to me anyone would have a problem with it

I probably would allow MY 9 year old to stay in the park, I wouldn’t leave someone else’s 9 year old in the park with specifically asking the parents.

Ten minutes is fine. My 8 year old takes pocket money along to the corner shop (on our street), I've let her run ahead home to go to the loo, and left her in the play park to take the dog home when he was being a pest (10 mins). She's also autistic, so can struggle, which is exactly why I do things like the shop - build her confidence and independence little by little.

He might have guessed 10 minutes and it was more like 5. I was going shopping in town with friends at 10, with a parent waiting in a cafe. I don’t think it’s too bad.

Under 10 I'd probably have stayed with them if I didn't know the parent well enough to know what was okay, or I would have checked. I would consider a parent who didn't allow their child to be left for 10 minutes to be overprotective though. At 10 I'd probably have sent them alone.

Depends where you live !

9 year olds here free walk to the park and play there for a bit but I’ve seen parks where I wouldn’t be happy with that.

I think it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do in terms of appropriateness, but ages 9-11 I did always used to check with the parents if I was doing something that they might not have done yet.

My 9 year old stays at home alone for up to 15 mins, and can walk a few doors down to friends house and walk to school (1/4 mile) with no roads to cross, and I feel fairly cautious!

I wouldn’t think anything of it at 9 and when they have each other. I think you’re being a bit overprotective.

I probably am. He is the eldest and I do need to let go bit by bit, but I don't feel it was the dad's call to make. Anyway, nobody got hurt.

I used to walk home from school - alone at 7 years old.

I used to ride my bike around at about 9 unsupervised.

I think you need to get a grip.

I think this is absolutely a fine normal age to be playing in the park with friends/no direct adult supervision. However if it was planned I'd probably run it by the other parent first.

I’m another one who would leave my own nine year old but not somebody else’s without having checked with them first.