9 year old left in park for 10 minutes

[Italianasoitis]

My 9 year old son went to his friend's house after school. The dad collected them both from school and took them to the park. When my son got home, he said that the dad went back home to get something and left both my son and his friend (both 9) alone for 10 minutes. In this time my son fell over and grazed his knee and said an old lady came over to him to see if he was OK. Son wasn't frightened, hurt or upset amd while he is quote mature for his age, I have never left him alone for any amount of time. I'm annoyed and am not sure if I'm being unreasonable. I feel like I can't trust the parents again. Am I mad? I can be a bit over protective but aibu in thinking you don't leave 9 year olds alone in the park? Or maybe it's OK. I don't know. What do you all think?

I am a primary teacher, DH is a primary head. Arse covering and not getting sued is absolutely the reason.Our own kids were walking to school alone as soon as they turmed 7 ( no big roads)

YANBU to be annoyed that another family chose to leave your son in a park without your permission. I’d be fuming.

YABU to feel that he needs adult assistance when grazing his knee at age 9. He should be learning to be a bit more resilient and independent with things like this by now.

Actually thats the thing - it's not a LOT more likely. Stats show its much the same. Its just parents are more scared of it now.

As the parent who'd let her 9 year old and friend take their ponies off for a hack along the bridleways (no mobile phones back then, but admittedly I knew where they were going and often would meet them, they only had about 3 roads to cross and were very sensible) I think perfectly reasonable given your son comes over as relatively level headed and sensible.

There’s lots of comments saying OP is being overprotective. I think if you asked in any Year 4 or Year 5 class (not sure which one the OP’s child is in), you would have a complete mixture - some would have had some freedom, some parents would be thinking about it and some wouldn’t be at the stage of being ready for it (you can obviously get a child in Year 5 who has only just turned 9 in the August).

Everyone parents differently but the criticism is not being asked and for the parent just to assume the child/parent is ok with this.

Your child would be eaten alive by peers here if you continued to supervised them aged 9 at the park!
Is anyone able to assess risk:benefit rationally any more?

I would leave my 9yo alone in a park for 10 minutes, but wouldn't leave someone else's unless I had checked with their parents first.

What happens in the 16th minute?

And no it’s not illegal.

Exactly this. The risk assessment on here is also completely off.

Like other posters, I don't think there's anything wrong with it per se, but I wouldn't leave another child alone with mine like that without express permission from parents

I wonder if this is really area specific, and if it’s a case of doing what other parents do? I’m in the north of Scotland and Kids round here are playing out unsupervised from about age 7, my children have been walking to and from school alone from age 8 and it’s the same for the majority of their friends. I’m amazed how many people are scared of kidnapping, how often does that actually happen? I’m away to google statistics!

And people wonder why children are so anxious these days!They need to learn to think for themselves and be more independent .

Why? We live in a small village, not central London.

Exactly! Have just been told I'm appalling for letting my child run to the shop to buy a sweet! Hahaha. Funnily enough she got a head teachers award for being amazing at counting out change from money.

If you want to leave your child alone in a park that's one thing (and a risky decision in my opinion), but you absolutely should NOT leave someone else's child!

Things are busier on the roads than when I was a kid. However, we were playing over the park and going to the newsagent from about 4. I had more injuries playing in the garden than anywhere else. I don't remember them but I apparently had a couple of visits to have stitches in a split lip falling off the garden wall.

Bumps, bruises and scrapes are all part of growing up.

i wonder how they can police how children travel TO school.

Why is it risky? They're nine, not four.

I used to play down by the river all by myself with my dog at that age. Mind you she would have taken a lump out of anyone that came near me.

My 9 year old goes to the park on their own for 20 minutes. But if I was looking after someone else's 9 year old I would check with parent/carer before allowing

You’re being ridiculous. It probably hadn’t crossed the other parents mind that they were doing something controversial or that your child had never been alone in the park before because he is 9, not a baby.

I think you are. His mate was with him and in a couple of years he will be at senior schools with much more independence. I think you can loosen the apron strings, honestly.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this particular scenario whatsoever and think I’m on the cautious side - but not extreme.

For comparison, I agree with DC starting go to school on public transport from age 10 as part of developing confidence for secondary school.

Surprised a significant minority agree with you, though much seems to be caution over potential batshittery.

I guess hard to police walking to school, although we are in a place where most parents know alot of the kids/other parents through the different years, so probably would be noticed if it was a regular thing and reported to the school.

Walking home is easy to police as you have to be collected by a parent before Year 5 and totally agree with that. Ive never heard a parent suggest to me about their child walking home before that school year. I was happy with mine walking at that age as I knew I could trust them to come straight home.

I’d never be allowing play dates there again. The dad might be ok to leave his own child but you can’t leave someone else’s without their consent. Can’t believe how many people think you are being unreasonable.