Jealous of brother and SIL’s very easy baby

[Korner]

Not much more than the title. Brother and SIL had a baby 2 months after dh and I. I wouldn’t say we have a difficult baby but she is not very easygoing. A deviation from her routine and the baby becomes very distressed which means my life is quite stressful ie trying to have a life around naps, baths etc.

Nephew on the other hand is VERY easy. He literally only cries when he needs a bottle/change. Will immediately stop crying if he is given both these things. It means my SIL is always out, make up on and life is barely changed. Last weekend my SIL surprised my brother with a hobby gift. They were only supposed to be out of the house for 3/4 hours but they ended up going home after 7/8 hours as they stayed out for dinner/trip to pub. Nephew just slept! I could never do that with my baby. And he is always happy and laughing. It’s beautiful but my baby is not like that. He must laugh 200x a day.

I thought maybe I was doing some wrong but I’ve had my nephew and he was perfect for me!

Nephew has slept very solidly since being a newborn whilst my baby is regressing right now. Brother and SIL say they are not tired whilst I am exhausted. I wish Inciuld go the gym. My husband is probably more hands on than brother (who is good tbf). They have taken their baby on a five hour plane ride and my mum (was there) said he didn’t cry once and just slept the entire time.

Just jealous. We have such different lifestyles due to temperament of babies.

Babies are so different and I can seem never ending but that stage soon passes. Also. The baby doesn’t need to sleep for you to be out and about. Yes you might be bouncing them on your knee in the beer garden or passing them around for cuddles rather than them just sleeping in the pram, but you can still go. Who cares if they cry when out? It’s a baby, they cry. Honestly OP, I know it can seem easier said than done, but most babies are portable enough. You don’t need to stay in a darkened room.

I made friends at a group with 5 mums of other children the same age. Up to age 2 I had the easiest kid by far now it’s completely switched and he’s almost 5, it will even out 😊

My little brother and his wife had a very complacent easy going baby who adored nap times- and even asked to go to bed as a toddler. I had a baby who seemed allergic to sleep. Never napped after 2 yo and was very high maintence! My brother used to tell me he had such a calm amazingly well behaved baby as he had such a strong routine in place. Patronising git! Now my first is 12 and his is 8. His child eats maybe 8 different foods, fights bedtime like a champ and is the most hyperactive kid going! I am bitting my lip so hard to tell him my children eat everything as I have such a strong meal planning routine in place…..or that they are calmer as I have such a strong routine with screen limitations….but I am not a completely insensitive bitch! And it would be a lie. Kids are just random. Anyway- my point is their baby might be easier now….but it’ll come round to them having a more difficult time parenting sooner or later and your kid will be easier in another phase.

I never realised my first was tricky until I had my second who was exactly like you describe your nephew. First never slept, had to be carried around all the time, awful feeder, just 24 7. Second slept all the time, only cried for a feed, then went to sleep, was happy, smiley, bonny bonny baby. Both grown up now and absolutely delightful. It does get easier.

I have a 7 week old. I’ve had so many people tell me how quiet she is and how lucky I am that she’s not always crying - but they’re not there when she’s screaming and inconsolable from 11pm-4am, or refuses to nap all day long and needs to be held constantly, or won’t latch because she’s so fussy and tired. Everything seems greener on the other side - until you’re on the other side.