Weird colleague - would you say something?

[dillydal]

I'm relatively new in my organisation, in the first couple of months. I was waiting for a lift to go home, as was a man I'd never met. Suddenly, he reached into my bag and rummaged around. At the bottom of my bag was a bag of coffee which he pulled out, in the process pulling out some tampons, a box of sertraline and athletes foot cream that I'd got from Boots on my lunch break. As we got into the lift, he then started throwing the coffee between his hands like you would do if you're teasing a child and kept repeatedly saying quite close to my face "you're not having it back". At this point, I was really uncomfortable and said quite tersely, you shouldn't go in someone's bag. I think he realised he'd crossed a line and quickly gave it me bag. I found it really odd and feel it's worth flagging to my manager just even for a quiet word about conduct but not sure I'm making a big issue. That said, he made me feel really uncomfortable and is allowed to just forgot. Would you flag quietly with your line manager?

100% raise it. It's bullying.

Did you just stare at him while he was taking items out of your bag? Why?!

I don't think they are in general.

Ah. The class clown who never grew up, revels in being 'quirky', is used to being indulged and has no appropriate boundaries. I used to have one at work.

Personally I wouldn't report it as a first occurrence, especially in a new job. But I'd be on alert from now and would absolutely not indulge any of his infantile bullshit. Then I'd report if anything happened again.

That's absolutely mental, if some random person had stuck their hand in my bag I'd probably have smacked it! You didn't seriously just stand there and let him rummage in your handbag without saying anything?!

Yes do report to your manager, he sounds like an arsehole.

Definitely raise it. He went rummaging through some really private stuff!

Sometimes when unbelievable stuff happens, you DON'T react. You sort of take a minute to process what's actually going on, almost in disbelief. Is that what happened OP?

I think I would report it tbh. If you think about it, it's incredibly invasive. The absolute cheek of him like! I don't think I'd wait for round 2.

Presumably she was a bit in shock at his weird behaviour?

Why did you let him to do this?

How long ago did it happen?

I’d report it if it was in the last few days, otherwise I think I’d just give him a wide berth.

Not raising things like this is why people carry on behaving as they do.

Thanks all. Tbh I was just stood there kind of stunned. I didnt know what to say.

Ignore the dense posters blaming you for not reacting quickly enough 🙄 A freeze response to sudden weird behaviour is normal.

Yes I would talk to HR about it.

FFS. Can we not start criticising the OP’s reaction in a bizarre situation, in a workplace? The issue here is this man’s behaviour, not the OP’s.

Quietly raise it? Why quietly? I'd have told him in no uncertain terms at the time that if he ever goes into my bag or touches my things again I'd report him to HR so fast his feet won't touch the ground, then I'd unapologetically tell my manager exactly what happened and make clear if it happens again you want him dealing with. Absolute prick.

Why did she 'let' him do this? FFS! Why did he feel entitled to do this in the first place? Christ!

@MartyFunkhouser let him

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
FFS.

Report check if cameras on area you were in. My goodness I have worked with some unusual people but that's mad.

I would of course freeze like you but my goodness it would take some self control not to hit him Nora Batty style with the bag next time I saw him.

Do you have regular 1-2-1s? At your next one, I’d just be like “can I tell you something weird that happened? I don’t want to achieve anything, I just want to share it with someone”.

Defo report him you may save someone from a similar experience if he’s dealt with properly
I feel angry on your behalf that he did this

Yes raise it with your manager. It's very odd behaviour. You found it unsettling, imagine a client would also fail to see the 'funny' side.

No don't do this. What the actual F+++? This behaviour is completely unacceptable. He invaded your personal space, he took your stuff, he bullied you.

YOu need to march straight into your manager's office right now and tell him. And as you're new, you need to see what the response is because this will tell you a great deal about the culture in this organisation.

Relate this to your manager and HR. It is completely invasive and unacceptable behaviour. It's very hard to know how to react and posters saying I would have slapped him etc, when you are in a supposedly trusted situation at work and then something like this happens out of the blue, it's more likely that you just freeze up and then only afterwards think wtf! He needs to get an immediate rebuke. I find it so worrying that he would even think this was OK.

I bet he wouldn't be stupid enough to do that to a client. He's picking a 'safe' target. Fucking prick.