DD6’s party, Jemima’s mother and the clownfairy part 2

[Endoftheroad12345]

Hi all

After my last post here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5097890-to-tell-a-mum-of-a-guest-that-she-cant-stay-at-dd6s-birthday-party?page=1

I thought some of you might be interested in an update.

The clown/fairy I had booked ghosted me when I tried to confirm!!!! so for a moment there I was panicking about having no entertainer and felt that the mumsnet curse of hoping that DD had a shitty party would come true!!!!! luckily though, I have found and booked a back up fairy. So that mitigates the clown phobia risk

9 guests have RSVPed if a total of 12 invites (I had guessed 15), 3 TBC. Of the 12, I know 6 mothers (most of them just to say hi to at school). 3 who have RSVPed I couldn’t pick out of a line up. So far no other parents have asked to stay. Or indeed asked for any other details (or an “plan”)about the party.

Forecast is for pissing rain on Sunday.

The last few pages of the thread took a weird turn while I was asleep and started talking about swimming parties and lifeguards. We do actually have a pool … (I know I sound like I’m trolling at this point.) There will not be a lifeguard on duty, but as it’s about 12 degrees here so I don’t think anyone will be getting in the unheated pool.

(Am WFH today because DS has a high fever and power-chucked in the hallway last night while I was making cupcakes at 10pm for the sodding school fundraiser. As DS coughed in my face while he spreadeagled across my bed, I did think wistfully of one poster on the last thread who thought I was probably a cashed up career woman who barely saw her kids.)

god almight it's not people pleasing to go moderately in the direction of comprimise so that one child can have a parent there if they really need it. truly we are on the path to a solipsistic society.

The point of these parties is to bring kids together and they all have a nice time! The op is not going to enjoy it anyway !

All I will say is that personally I would go MARGINALLY out of my way to see if a child needed that support.

I did a module in Safety and Risk management as part of my masters over 25 years ago. I also did a module in Cognitive Psychology. Completely irrelevant for clinical psychology but I won't let that stop me.

I'm also ok at stats so long as they are not too complicated. I could, if I get adequate data, work out the odds of a child getting tetanus from the pins AND them throwing up AND wetting themselves at the same time.

I'm currently a lecturer so very adept at sounding knowledgeable regardless of how much knowledge of the topic I actually have. That should be useful.

Surely what we really need is a Party Fairy to weigh in to tell us whether or not they are happy to be back-up in an emergency?

I LOVE this

I am a dangerous goods safety advisor. Does that help in any way?

Haven't RTFT only the OP posts.

Chipping in to say in France it's drop and run parties from age 3.

Only once did a mum hover a long way away in the park to keep an eye on her 6 year old cos they'd just moved back from the US and he was a bit nervous. However he was surrounded by his friends and after 10 minutes she left and he was fine (and didn't want to leave at the end).

Parties are really relaxed here.

We recently had 14 10 year olds round. Swimming pool, trampoline and nerf battles. With only DH and me supervising. It was fine and the boys had a blast. My only condition was they had to wear sunglasses or goggles to play nerf.

We just pottered around keeping them hydrated and handing out food. And keeping an eye on the pool and trampoline.

Very interesting.

Op has ruled out a piñata, which I'm sure you are in full agreement with. I suggested blu tac instead of pins for pin the horn on the unicorn. Can you advise on the relative risks of pins vs blu tac?

It’s tough one. Without my clipboard and ability to carry out a full risk assessment I would say here that both carry relatively minimal risks. Therefore, I would recommend pins because blu tac is shite.

I have been Elsa, but it was 4 years ago on a float in a parade!

I can't believe the fuss you've made about one parent staying! It's quite embarrassing.

No wonder the 'fairy' ghosted you with your attitude, tbh. I think they did well to not get involved in this drama!

But what about the tetanus risk? If the op is anything like most people on MN, nobody will be allowed cross the threshold without taking their shoes off so there will be multiple children running around in stockinged feet on a bed of pins.

Have you watched Motherland? Seriously it is hysterical and you could relate!

This thread has been interesting. We even had people disclose their professions; lawyer, psychiatrist and psychologist. I am millennial. We got dropped off at parties. I think this is still the norm today - that being said, I think my generation are much more aware of predators than our parents generations. I think it would be unusual for for a parent of 6 year old to join the party - British houses are small. I do think the OP is brave to host 15 kids. This wouldn't be me especially as we live in the age of health and safety.

A ghost clown doesn't sound much fun, you've dodged a bullet there. 😉

@Endoftheroad12345 think yourself lucky with the needle incident. My cousin stood on one, was disregarded and it emerged from her knee some months later 😯

I have to admit once I heard the OP had a pool...I've changed my mind about there being enough adults there. Sorry, OP! Is the pool covered?

Have to agree to disagree on your take here.

As the OP will be asleep, and to prevent froth, it is a strict law in NZ that pools are fenced to a certain height and locked. Fucking annoying when you’re 7 and your mate goes on holiday and you and your other mates want to sneak in for a swim

Oh ok

Some of us really don't agree with you, but even those that might haven't felt the need to be nasty about a complete stranger.

Shouldn't you pin the horn?

Just to mix it up a bit

She’s also said that it’s currently 10 degrees and will be pissing it down with rain on the day of the party. So I’d say probably no more risk (and probably less given it will be fenced) of a child escaping from the party and falling in than there would be if she had a garden pond. (Now I’m waiting for someone to tell me that you mustn’t host children in your home if you have a pond in the garden).

He won't come

She's cancelled the cheque

How many times must @Endoftheroad12345 repeat that she is in NZ where this is perfectly usual practice?

A teacher friend of mine emigrated to NZ. She made a point of telling us all about that!