DD6’s party, Jemima’s mother and the clownfairy part 2

[Endoftheroad12345]

Hi all

After my last post here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5097890-to-tell-a-mum-of-a-guest-that-she-cant-stay-at-dd6s-birthday-party?page=1

I thought some of you might be interested in an update.

The clown/fairy I had booked ghosted me when I tried to confirm!!!! so for a moment there I was panicking about having no entertainer and felt that the mumsnet curse of hoping that DD had a shitty party would come true!!!!! luckily though, I have found and booked a back up fairy. So that mitigates the clown phobia risk

9 guests have RSVPed if a total of 12 invites (I had guessed 15), 3 TBC. Of the 12, I know 6 mothers (most of them just to say hi to at school). 3 who have RSVPed I couldn’t pick out of a line up. So far no other parents have asked to stay. Or indeed asked for any other details (or an “plan”)about the party.

Forecast is for pissing rain on Sunday.

The last few pages of the thread took a weird turn while I was asleep and started talking about swimming parties and lifeguards. We do actually have a pool … (I know I sound like I’m trolling at this point.) There will not be a lifeguard on duty, but as it’s about 12 degrees here so I don’t think anyone will be getting in the unheated pool.

(Am WFH today because DS has a high fever and power-chucked in the hallway last night while I was making cupcakes at 10pm for the sodding school fundraiser. As DS coughed in my face while he spreadeagled across my bed, I did think wistfully of one poster on the last thread who thought I was probably a cashed up career woman who barely saw her kids.)

I have only read the op on the other thread, but is the mum local? Because where I am it would be horrifying to suggest parents don’t stay at a 6yo birthday party, it’d be the talk of the school and I’m not even joking. 20 parents squished into a house for one my dcs friends 6th bday party a few days ago. Parents are only just starting ti drop and run with the 9th bdays my older child is having.

I’m in NZ @Codlingmoths

The last thread seemed to throw up quite stark cultural differences on this…DD is turning 6 and parties have been drop & run for her and all other kids her age for the last year. Even the year before that, probably 80% drop & run?

The thought of 20 parents I don’t know squishing into my house on Sunday with a forecast of torrential rain makes me feel faint 😂

The other thread was BANANAS OP. Glad you found a back up fairy and good luck on Sunday, update is 'non-negotiable' (how do ya like that lil bit of fancy lawyer speak I threw in there? 🤣)

I missed the last thread, but the internet joke was perfect. I snorted at my desk.

Ho-lee-sheet just went down a 30 minute rabbit hole on that other thread. That could be the most bonkers I’ve ever seen AIBU? Lol’d at the accusation that you are a selfish career woman OP (fellow kiwi lawyer here)

Other highlight included ”no way would I drop my little darling off at a complete STRANGER’s house ALONE”

oh mate

I was really really tempted to write in the update “I’m WFH today (I’m a lawyer)” but thought that would be actually insufferable

Gone back for more - someone accusing op of hiding something about her home life

OP being accused of essentially hating autistic children

Jesus Christ

Lots of ableism accusations being thrown around despite no disclosure of any additional needs

Insensitivity to horse allergies and clown phobes

I did not inform parents whether there would be pony rides in my 600m2 property

Should have advised parents whether kids needed to bring their togs despite it being mid winter and 10 degrees which and the pool at that point was hypothetical, discussion then segued into an argument about the need for a lifeguard on duty at a pool in a private home

My disregard for health and safety inspectors was also noted

I’m married to a kiwi. The cultural differences are vast!!! Personally I find kiwi women a fascinating mix of laid back yet chippy as fuck. You never know what’s going to grind their gears unexpectedly!
it’s all yeah nah until it ISN’T 🤣

Poor old Jemima’s mum got right up your goat, didn’t she?!

She sure did @itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow 😂

This thread has made me chuckle @Endoftheroad12345 there used to be a class mum who would always try and either get another mum to supervise her child at parties or take them so she didn’t have to but she never reciprocated. Ever. And this was right from when they were 3. I decided to have a roller disco for my DD’s birthday (I think they were 5 or 6) which was a dreadful idea on so many levels (Whole other thread Right there) but this mum when arriving and upon seeing her kid couldn’t be dropped because she couldn’t skate (none of them could, they were 5/6 no idea why I thought they could 😂) and all the other parents were staying to help their kids came up to me and accused me of ‘deliberately organising a party that required her to stay’ 😆

Some parents are just bonkers.

I just think it’s such a benign request though!! Personally I’m all about the drop and run but my DD was such a barnacle when she was 6 that no way would she have been left without tears. I feel so sorry for Jemima’s mum!!

I hadn’t seen the other thread and just had a browse. I’m not surprised though. I have long noted the neurotic obsession with assuming every child has SEN or anxiety issues on MN. Sure, some do but it almost seems compulsive to throw this in despite any evidence.
I hope that the party will go well OP. It’s nice to see that there are places where children can still be children and are not automatically assumed to be suffering from some condition by default.

I didn’t comment on the other thread, but some of the posts were so bizarre. It’s perfectly fine not to want to host parents at a 6-year-old’s birthday party. And yet the accusations against you @Endoftheroad12345were quite OTT, such as saying you were “full of hate and rage.” 😮😅Truly MN at its most extreme.

I hope your DD has a lovely party and that all the guests, including Jemima, have a wonderful time. 🥳

Thanks for the update. I'm bizarrely invested in this now. Hope the party goes well and you and your daughter don't catch your son's bug 😬

Shamelessly place marking

Thank you! He caught it off her! I’ve spent the last 2 weeks WFH (as a lawyer 😂) while being vomited on

I as not sure what’s funnier, the roller disco for 5 year olds or the mum thinking you’d hatched a dastardly palm to force her to attend!

That said I remember once having to stay for a party that specifically said drop & run on the invite (bc it was an abseiling party for, I think, 5 year olds … unsurprising now I think about it 🤣) … I tell you, hoisting your 5 year old up and down a rock climbing wall for 2 hours when you are incredibly hungover is not a good time

I wish there were more people around like you OP and less of the wet wipes on the other thread 😂 Can’t handle 15 6 year olds in your own home?! WTF do they think teachers do everyday? You sound intelligent, funny and capable. If a little easy to pounce on an innocuous text but who hasn’t been there before?! Have a great party, please do report back on how many children left your house alive.

😂😂 so true!

Your parties sound much more interesting than our English tea parties op! Were you at least not offered a glass of wine to get you through another torturous two hours? Or at least a pimms!

Whereas when dd was small none of the parents of her friends would have dreamt of staying at a house party by the time the children was 6. It would have been deemed very odd.
By 6 most people were doing drop and run at all parties, let alone Ines in someone's home.

My experience of teaching children 4-7 at the moment is that by year 1m and certainly year 2, most parties are drop and go unless at a big venue.

This is in South Yorkshire, uk.

ds is 30 this year but no way did parents want to stay at his 6th birthday party
and he was one of the eldest in the class.
have times really changed that much?

I remember the pain of having to ‘host’ the parents even now ( here generally drop and run starts at 7ish) so I don’t blame you op. It used to be harder than the party itself!