DD6’s party, Jemima’s mother and the clownfairy part 2

[Endoftheroad12345]

Hi all

After my last post here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5097890-to-tell-a-mum-of-a-guest-that-she-cant-stay-at-dd6s-birthday-party?page=1

I thought some of you might be interested in an update.

The clown/fairy I had booked ghosted me when I tried to confirm!!!! so for a moment there I was panicking about having no entertainer and felt that the mumsnet curse of hoping that DD had a shitty party would come true!!!!! luckily though, I have found and booked a back up fairy. So that mitigates the clown phobia risk

9 guests have RSVPed if a total of 12 invites (I had guessed 15), 3 TBC. Of the 12, I know 6 mothers (most of them just to say hi to at school). 3 who have RSVPed I couldn’t pick out of a line up. So far no other parents have asked to stay. Or indeed asked for any other details (or an “plan”)about the party.

Forecast is for pissing rain on Sunday.

The last few pages of the thread took a weird turn while I was asleep and started talking about swimming parties and lifeguards. We do actually have a pool … (I know I sound like I’m trolling at this point.) There will not be a lifeguard on duty, but as it’s about 12 degrees here so I don’t think anyone will be getting in the unheated pool.

(Am WFH today because DS has a high fever and power-chucked in the hallway last night while I was making cupcakes at 10pm for the sodding school fundraiser. As DS coughed in my face while he spreadeagled across my bed, I did think wistfully of one poster on the last thread who thought I was probably a cashed up career woman who barely saw her kids.)

I know exactly who you were implying OP. I meant others, meaning apart from yourself. Never mind, there's no point in complicating things for you.

You do have a lot of, shall I say, confidence in your self OP, to be able to take the piss as you do. Just a little friendly advice, look at all the responses on your previous thread.
You started an AIBU, which basically means you're asking for people's opinions (in case you're not aware), but then tried to tear down posters (like myself) who didn't agree with you.
You came across as if you think you're superior (I'm a lawyer don't you know, which incidentally I imagine no one actually gives AF about, and a lawyer who not only can't have a reasonable debate, but can't even organise a child's party in time).

You been extremely aggressive to many posters and the worst of it all, you were nasty about a Mum who was purely enquiring about what the plan of action was regarding the party. Your reaction to her was completely over the top, unnecessary and cruel, especially as you thought of her as 'weird', amongst so many other negative comments about her.

You came across as paranoid too, and yet you have the audacity to mock me (amongst others), .... Wow, just wow .....

I feel that all of this could have been avoided if OP had put on the party invite ‘DROP OFF PARTY ONLY DUE TO SPACE CONSTRAINTS’.
you will know for next time OP 😉.

And they were the same 5/6 yo’s who were dropped off at parties…. SEN aside (which is very different), parents do their kids no favours by never letting them sort things out for themselves. Parents are quite happy for one person to look after 30 of them in a class (whilst they are not there), but it’s an issue for one person looking after a dozen of them from the same class whilst they are fully entertained for 3 hours on a Saturday?

Adore you OP @Endoftheroad12345 . My oldest is 30yo and youngest is 12yo . I didn'tt do baby parties, but did every other year from starting school. I met the parents at the door and they said "so pick up at 2?" and I said yes great. "come on in Hamish". Had them all ready at 2pm with lolly bags in hand. If someone had asked to stay I would have thought they were super weird. Nobody did. With 4 kids I can guarantee that staying at parties is very odd indeed. I rarely set foot in the door.
( One exception , a couple hired out an entire Italian restaurant and invited all the parents and supplied copious wine foolish mistake but a great party).

Oh and OP@Endoftheroad12345 I agree with you in every way and did love the pegging and internet jokes but "Yeah nah" is Australian. No copying please. 😉

Ooh you're best to read the last thread to find out

Another kiwi here, I found your 1st thread fairly entertaining with all the talk of child-adult legal ratios/lifeguards/anaphylactic reactions/emergency trips to hospital/pony allergies, not to mention the psychoanalyzing of your character!

Can also vouch for this being the normal NZ way, as once mine were at school parties were just drop and leave if they were at someone's home. I would always go in to say hi and make sure the gift was handed over - and i guess if at that point I discovered dad was a Mongrel Mob member who bred pitbulls I would have stayed, but generally I wouldn't expect parents to hang around at that age either (personally I wouldn't mind if they did tho!).

The way the outrage just escalated in response to you clearly not taking those chiding you seriously, and immediately changing your party to adhere to their preferences, really was something to behold. Whole asses were shown.

But when they're in a classroom there's always going to be other adults (teachers and assistants etc) around to help in an emergency.
At home, there could be one kid needing help in the toilet, whilst one is being sick, one is falling over etc etc ..... and then there could be a real emergency occur on top. There'd be no one on hand to help in this case.

The Fairy will be there.

Didn't see the end of the last thread, but will catch up to enjoy the madness.

Just wanted to say, despite being in the UK, and despite the fact I didn't leave DD at parties at 6 unless we knew the families incredibly well (this is in the past, my DD is adult now), I think you're fabulous @Endoftheroad12345
I totally get you on this.

Good luck with your party, and go you!

LOVE the suggestion above from @CustardCream0472 that the new fairy is Jemima's mum. Hilarious!!!!

This whole thread was just a massive culture clash. You have to remember that the UK is very densely populated particularly in the SE, and the weather is crap.Very few British homes are big enough to host 15 kids in winter, and you can't guarantee to even be able to go outside in summer. (It was 13 degrees on Saturday here).
Therefore most people hire a hall for parties, and that means that it almost becomes a social for the parents too. Or at least that was the case when my DC were young. Put in that context, the replies probably make a bit more sense.

The thing is, however, this is complete conjecture. You can't summon up reasons that might be bothering Jemima's mother with no evidence that this is what's bothering her (well, you can, but they have no basis). If this was bothering Jemima's mother then she would have/can say this to the OP – but she hasn't.

Child to adult ratios are not a requirement anywhere but a professional childcare setting, so insisting that the OP take heed of this is unreasonable to expect. And that is added to the fact that you have no evidence it bother's Jemima's mum.

We can assume YOU are bothered by it, but that's completely irrelevant to anything.

I don't think a 6 year old's birthday party is the best environment to make friends with the host...

@marmarmalade

“ I agree with you in every way and did love the pegging and internet jokes but "Yeah nah" is Australian. No copying please. 😉”

realise this wasn’t directed at me but I am HORRIFIED at this blatant (and dare I say VERY AUSTRALIAN) theft of OUR LINGO

I'm not going on about Jemima's mum here though am I.

It doesn't matter that it's not a requirement, it's a matter of having a degree of common sense not to leave all those kids with just one adult.

Oh dear! "Yeah Nah" is totally Aussie. We may have to go to war. Such a shame as we are basically very friendly cousins . Honestly didn't know you Kiwi's said it. It is a very Australian thing. This is going to be like the pavolva all over again. This thread has thrown up many cultural quirks! 😁

What are you trying to achieve here, exactly? Op isn’t going to start taking you seriously any more than she’s going to change her plans because you think she should. All you’re managing to do is, graciously I suppose, contribute the same batshittery that was witnessed on the last thread.

We could get our lifeguards to fight on our behalf?

Absolutely. 2 of us lead a Rainbows group of nearly 30 4-6 year olds.
Comments that OP cannot manage 10 of them on her own are a little patronising. She wouldn't have offered if she didn't think she could do it.

When I was a child no one stayed even at 5. All my daughters friends parents stayed at 5, which was not any issue for me, but a change.

It's good for children to have a bit of independence, where it's safe and appropriate for them to do so.
From 7, I was under strict instructions from my oldest to 'drop and go', and most were the same.

I have a Very Important Question that has not been addressed in this or the previous thread.

What on earth does a party fairy do? Obviously a clown is going to do clown type things but other than frolicking around the place, waving her wand and smiling, how will the fairy entertain?

How many more ways will people find to insult the OP? Honestly, it's so odd. The entire situation was resolved swiftly and smoothly, Jemima's mother seems fine with leaving her DD at the party. Why the need to continue attacking the OP?

Think we might outnumber you there. I think a friendly handshake should solve it all ( though it is Aussie and we did create the pavlova), Runs away
Let's not mention Phar Lap .

I was going to post exactly the same. Glad it wasn't just me!

Thanks for the interest, but I'm not trying to 'achieve' anything. I'm entitled to join in on a public forum, not that I need to explain myself to you.

Maybe you could answer, seeing as you're obviously interested in my posts, would YOU think it's acceptable to look after 15 5/6 year olds, completely alone, at a party for 3 hours?

Is this a 'batshit' question to you?

When hosting a birthday party for a load of 6 year olds is not a great "making friends" moment. Surely a playdate at a park for 2 kids would be more suited to that?