To resign over a wedding?

[dancingrainbows]

It seems a bit crazy, but I work as a teacher.

A close relative has decided to get married on a Monday and I work Mondays. My school does not allow time off (even unpaid) for events like this at all, it just isn’t permitted.

My options are

1. Lie - my worry with this is that if I am ‘caught’ the repercussions are serious.
2. Resign. If I handed my notice in now I could leave at Christmas.

i don’t actually think I’d have a problem getting a new teaching job but I am currently part time and don’t want to lose this - it’s rare PT posts are advertised - and also getting settled in again somewhere is a pain. It’s a WWYD really. By the way I know not all schools are as inflexible as my current one but it really is.

That doesn't sound like a nice place to work. I would look around for a new job. I know teaching can't be very flexible but there are situations where it's important.

Just thinking - is there any chance of swapping a work day with another part-timer?

If you are part time is there no-one who will swap a day with you? That's what teachers where I work would do.

Would you genuinely quit your job over it? Or risk losing it by lying?

I think if people decide to get married on a week day then they have to accept people won’t be able to attend.

^
This

given its in the next academic year, request to permanently change the days that you work?

What are your part time hours?

Your relative clearly doesn't care much whether or not you attend, if they've chosen to get married on a Monday.

i certainly wouldn't quit my job to attend someone's wedding! That's ridiculous. And I love weddings.

They wouldn’t permit it @Zonder

@DailyMailHater would I genuinely quit my job over it? Yes, probably. Not going would cause a certain amount of tension and not exactly bad feeling but disappointment and confusion. Wider family wouldn’t really understand. To be honest even my own Dh, lovely as he is, doesn’t fully ‘get it.’

Oh I'd just lie.

I would ask and say you'll be forced to resign if not. If they say no, then resign and hopefully they'll see it is as an unproductive idea. It's not easy to find teachers. If you are part time, they should surely have an option to swap your day with the person you're working with.

It is insanity to consider quitting a good part time role for someone’s wedding. Complete insanity.

@ThinWomansBrain i did consider that but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be possible due to other peoples working hours.

Don’t be daft. You knew the conditions of service when you accepted the job. Just explain to your relative that you’re terribly sorry and you’ll join them in the evening. Ask them to dinner at your house when they’re back from their honeymoon and they can show you the photos.

With those attitudes, I'd be choosing option 3 - don't go.

I’m struggling to understand how anyone sane would not compute that you being a teacher means you can’t take a Monday off. Ludicrous

This. If you are willing to resign anyway then it’s worth telling them first so that they can at least try to help if get sorted I suppose.

Yup

This!!!!!

Although teachers are in short supply - will you be able to cope with no salary if there is a gap?

Also I dont think you can lie now if you have already asked for the day off.

If you genuinely would resign over this, I would have a conversation with your line manager saying this is very important to you, you don’t want to lie, and you can’t see any options other than lying or resignation.

Ask if they can see any other options, try and make it a problem for you both to solve. They really won’t want to have to recruit, I’d have thought, so there’s an incentive for them.

I've never in my life heard of a Monday wedding. Your relative is being unreasonable.

I'd lie if I were you.

Agree. Option 3.

Going in the evening isn’t an option. It’s miles away.

It’s interesting so many people just think it’s insanity - maybe it is but it’s not as if there aren’t many teaching roles. We aren’t fully staffed for September and it’s mid June!

You are caught between the classic rock and hard place.
And you are only looking at the rock.
I'd be looking at the hard place. Why is your family so unwilling to believe that your job genuinely will not let you have time off? Are they generally so dismissive of what you say?

I’d call in sick. Not ideal but for one day it’s not so bad.