To resign over a wedding?

[dancingrainbows]

It seems a bit crazy, but I work as a teacher.

A close relative has decided to get married on a Monday and I work Mondays. My school does not allow time off (even unpaid) for events like this at all, it just isn’t permitted.

My options are

1. Lie - my worry with this is that if I am ‘caught’ the repercussions are serious.
2. Resign. If I handed my notice in now I could leave at Christmas.

i don’t actually think I’d have a problem getting a new teaching job but I am currently part time and don’t want to lose this - it’s rare PT posts are advertised - and also getting settled in again somewhere is a pain. It’s a WWYD really. By the way I know not all schools are as inflexible as my current one but it really is.

Your close friend booked the wedding on a WEEKDAY knowing that people work and might not be able to attend

And you say there'd be upset and confusion if you dont attend?

Wtaf? What is WRONG with them?

I think your friend is manipulative and/or you want an excuse to quit your job

GET in their FIRST
> Send a cheap postcard FROM a cheap seaside holiday - let them KNOW U R havin an EXCELLENT time WITHOUT them - so it is NO BIG deal NOT invited - havin 2 MUCH fun 2 even GO if U WERE invited !!

U DON`T actually HAVE 2 go on the holiday - JUST let them THINK that U R
> U could BECAUSE U need 2 make UR home EMPTY 4 THAT period - so it CONFIRMS word WILL get about ...

Honestly just never mention the wedding to any colleagues and take the day sick. If you're off on the Tuesday you can come back on Wednesday feeling 'better'.

No posts on social media about the wedding and you'll be fine.

Oh get over yourself. You sound like the parent who was angry with me for daring to go on maternity leave at February half term.
Teachers have lives. Teaching is a job. Shock horror - teachers are people with families and a life outside of the classroom. Sometimes they will need to leave mid-year, sometimes they will be ill for a day or two (or longer), sometimes they will need a day off -and as OP's post has shown, this can be very hard to manage.
When my elderly father needed collecting from hospital following surgery I had to make the time up during the school holidays - which I was happy to do. So yes, my class had a substitute that day but my dad comes first. They survived. Should my dad have missed his surgery unless it fell in the school hols?
Quite honestly your post is ridiculous.

No, I'm sorry but yes life happens and some things cannot be avoided, caring responsibilities, illness, maternity leave etc. A weekday wedding is not one of them and any parent would be right to be angry with you, I doubt the children in your class would not be allowed time off for a relatives wedding in term time unless it was their parents wedding so why should the teacher?

@CatA27
It's not me going to the wedding?

I was replying to the general tone of your post which seemed to show no understanding that teachers have personal lives.

The wedding WILL happen, whether U R there or NOT - don`t GO
> WATCH THE dvd/fIlm KEEP UR job

If UR attendance WERE important U would have been MORE included.
Look at the divorce rate - GO 2 the NEXT 1 instead

@Macaroni46 and it wasn't my post you were replying to in the first place! I have an excellent understanding of what it means to be a teacher, both my parents were teachers and I taught for 5 years. Days off in term time were always a no no unless absolutely unavoidable because of sickness or caring responsibilities, thats all I'm saying.

How about the fact that being a teacher is different to being a child?

You just sound like a bitter person full of hate.

@HuongVuong3 no hate, just a sense of the responsibility that comes with many jobs. Being a teacher is different to being a child and it is definitely more important that the teacher is in the classroom than an individual child 🙄

No, because the child's education is compromised by not being in school. The teacher has finished her education. It's a job.

BOTH have 2 go 9 - 4 Mon Fri -

Nope. I’m there 7.30-6pm. And I work weekends.

@HuongVuong3 a child's education is compromised by the teacher not being there just to attend a wedding, in fact at least 30 children's education will be compromised.

7.30-6pm. And I work weekend
IS essentially 9 - 5 (weekends just means unskilled role)
It is NOT about bein pedantic, it IS the essence.
Still the SAME theory

@dancingrainbows as you say there are ways to do this but your school head is so inflexible. I don’t work in schools so am clueless but there are so many government and union led initiatives around flexibility at work that could you not raise this above the head teacher for unreasonable refusal?

other than that, because of their standpoint which is ridiculous. I would be inclined to phone in sick. You could legitimately for example be off sick with work related stress and still go to the wedding. It would be an event that is likely to improve your mood and help you recover so could not be frowned upon if discovered. I wouldn’t take a day off sick, I’d see my gp and take a few weeks that included the wedding time. If they were better employers I wouldn’t suggest this option but they’re not. Long term you need to move out of that school.

Well personally I think you're crazy - but it's not my call.

There is a third option you might want to consider: simply don't turn up for work that day and see what happens. They will start a disciplinary against you, but they won't fire you for a first offence

Honestly I’d just call in sick. Presumably the wedding will be in a private venue that the couple have hired so it’s not like you’ll be bumping into anyone/caught out. It’s not ideal obviously but it’s just one day. My wife is a teacher & does so much work (marking, lesson planning etc) outside of her hours, which I’m sure you do too, so I wouldn’t feel too guilty.

you have options:

1. Ask if you can swap days with a colleague
2. Ask if you can swap Monday to another day that you don't usually work so are working the same hours you usually would.
3. Lie & ring in Sick & don't pose for any photos at all at the wedding.
4. Decline the invite explaining why & go to the evening reception
5. Resign & take the chance of not getting another part time job that suits you.

If it's a close family member then it's up to you to explain that as much as you want to go it may be hard for you to attend with your job being in a school. They should fully understand & not pressure you to go.

How does swopping a day work if you are a school teacher @Goodtogossip?

Do you tell all the children across the whole school that on Monday next week, they are following the Tuesday timetable and on Tuesday they are following Mondays and assume they will al bring the right books, PE kits, Home Ec ingredients etc and end up in the right classroom at the right time - cos that sounds like chaos to me!

Or @dancingrainbows acts as a supply teacher for all the classes one part time teacher works on one day of the week and that teacher acts as a supply teacher on one of @dancingrainbows days - so the kids miss two days of effective teaching and both teachers have to set cover work- also far from ideal and unlikely to be acceptable to either the Head of the other teacher!

Or @dancingrainbows comes in on a day she’s not timetabled to teach and does …what? And that still doesn’t solve the problem of who takes her class on the day she is timetabled for.

I just don’t understand how this flexible swopping of days could work for a teacher!