To resign over a wedding?

[dancingrainbows]

It seems a bit crazy, but I work as a teacher.

A close relative has decided to get married on a Monday and I work Mondays. My school does not allow time off (even unpaid) for events like this at all, it just isn’t permitted.

My options are

1. Lie - my worry with this is that if I am ‘caught’ the repercussions are serious.
2. Resign. If I handed my notice in now I could leave at Christmas.

i don’t actually think I’d have a problem getting a new teaching job but I am currently part time and don’t want to lose this - it’s rare PT posts are advertised - and also getting settled in again somewhere is a pain. It’s a WWYD really. By the way I know not all schools are as inflexible as my current one but it really is.

Create a resignation letter starting your reason, that you understand the school policy but desire to attend so therefore you will be resigning with effect from. This puts the ball in his court- either he says oh ok, or he values you enough he would find a way to make it work. Tbh i couldn’t work for a head who had so little value for his staff he didn’t grant hospital appointments! I bet he has issue getting staff to ever go over and above, if you don’t look after staff they will never be willing to help you out

Just Inform them you’re going and if they sack you, they sack you, sounds like you don’t care about that so happy days.

Monday weddings sound a pain in the arse for everyone to me, who does that? If you can’t afford a proper Saturday do just don’t bother.

I work in a school that would allow this as unpaid leave.

Probably as schools give parents such a bashing for taking any time off. They can't be seen to be hypocrites.

I'm sure there are lots of schools that would but the OP doesn't work in one of them she said that in her first psot

i just wouldn't go to the wedding. sounds like you have pressure from family rather than a genuine desire to be there for the groom and bride. You'd essentially resign to keep difficult family member happy. Maybe time to grow a backbone?

This! If they really are so concerned about you being there then switching to the Tuesday seems like the best option. If they won't switch, then you have to wonder how much they really do want you there.

If they had no issues around flexibility for themselves, maybe they could have got married on a different day that you're not working???

Schools don't determine pupil absence policy. It's ofsted and the DfE
This is generally the idea that we get 13 weeks holiday a year so we should fit it all in then. Plus budgets are too tight for cover.

If I felt that strong about it, I would tell them that unless they grant the days leave I would resign, rather than taking the plunge first to see if they can come to some sort of one off arrangement.

They may not, but probably worth a try.

By all means, resign because you aren't happy there, the hours don't work, they're too inflexible, or whatever, that's a completely different proposition to the title of your OP, which is resigning over a wedding.

I haven’t bothered asking for it yet as I know they won’t say yes so pointless!

if you're thinking of resigning, but aren't even going to have the conversation with them, then that's an unwise move.

No not at all and there were people who didn't go . We still had a great time

DH was a teacher and we had this issue with a wedding. He was ready to resign so gave ultimatum. “I need this day off due to personal reasons or this is my resignation”.

it is much cheaper and easier for a school to allow the time off than for them to replace you.

But do remember the law - they only need to give you two days notice to cancel leave. So depends how sneaky they may be!

If you came to me with that attitude, I’d take your resignation.

Family weddings are important events and I think it's horrible that family life is considered so unimportant for employers. However resigning is a big step. All the people saying go in the evening must live close to their extended families as that would never work in mine. Ask for the leave and if refused and still that important to you, resign but be aware you may not get a job that works so well for you generally.

If your family (in-laws) would prefer for you to resign from your job rather than arrange their event on another cheap day that suits you then that tells you all you need to know about how much they respect you.

I'm assuming most of the family have booked a few days off around the wedding, so whether the ceremony is Monday or Tuesday doesn't matter to them, but will be much more convenient for you.

You mention children, will they also need to be excused from school?

Well they aren’t allowed to stop you from having hospital appointments.

Most people I know would lie on the grounds that ridiculous attitudes being lying upon themselves. I’m a useless liar so would probably explain that unfortunately I will have to resign if I can’t get the day off. But lying is probably simplest.

Sorry was sorting children. I won’t do anything hasty. In many ways I think the wedding is a symbolic thing: it isn’t just that but not being able to leave when nursery ring to say a child has been sick and missing own children’s events (I know there was a thread on this the other day.)

I won’t be doing anything knee jerk but I do need to work out what’s most important to me at this point.

They are @Genevieva - just keep squawking that we have to arrange out of working hours

This. The Monday is a strange day for a wedding but it wouldn't matter if it was another day you worked, the school will not let you have leave for any reasons. This is your problem here. There must be some flexibility. One day a year unpaid leave is not unreasonable for a particular event. Look for new job anyway.

I’m a teacher. My head is very flexible. Time off for a wedding wouldn’t even be questioned, I’ve had a day off to go to a concert before and staff have had days off for things like festivals and holidays abroad etc. There are absolutely schools where this wouldn’t be an issue at all, personally an inflexible head and a school where you can’t even go to a hospital appointment would be reason enough for me to leave.

I would go to the head and tell them that you have a wedding on X date you are going to, you’re aware that days off aren’t usually allowed so plan to resign but thought it sensible to double check before handing in your notice. If the head is happy for you to resign over an unpaid day off then I would say it’s not a school I’d want to work at.

Totally this ^

I worked at a school like this OP. It was miserable. Staff left in droves every term. When I needed time off to collect my dad from hospital following surgery I had to make up the time in the school hols.
Yet my friend who is also a teacher, was granted 4 days unpaid leave for a family occasion.
Like so many others, I am no longer a teacher.

Because the nhs is so accommodating…