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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be SO ANGRY with DM at end of exams meal

284 replies

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:14

I’ve bitten my tongue all evening 😡. I actually went off and had a private cry when we got home.

my DTs finished their GCSEs exams today and we took them out for a family meal at a lovely pub nearby. They’ve both tried really hard and I’m so proud of them.

DM has form for being a positivity hoover, and for bringing the mood down, but this was something else

I bloody knew she’d be like this as yesterday she mentioned the meal and said it ‘must’ also be a meal for DS1s birthday as he is 18 this week, and ‘you can’t be taking him out for a meal as well’. I brushed this aside and fumed to myself about this, I mean FFS when you are 18 don’t you deserve your own celebration- not to mention that my twins always have to share celebrations like this anyway? It’s on for her to be taken out get her birthday though.

She spent the whole meal being clearly ready to go full Cats Bum Face at teenage chat, and continually moaning about how ‘she never has starters and ‘I don’t know how you can eat all that anyway’ at 6’ teenage boys, and to top it all wanted to talk about the fact that she ‘hates all music’ and what precise nature sounds we must play at her funeral, as well as declaiming that she ‘doesn’t mind taking about her own death’ and then segueing into detailed exclamations about what a nightmare her estate will be when she’s dead.

i asked her how her meal was and ‘it’s fine yes’ (I mean, ‘oh nice yes’ or even, ‘lovely’ might have been nice.

I know this sounds intolerant but who thinks your won funeral is what we want to talk about at a celebration meal??

it’s been a long week so maybe I’m BU.

OP posts:
SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 14/06/2024 23:16

She sounds a laugh a minute.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 14/06/2024 23:17

Why did you invite her ?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 14/06/2024 23:17

@SonicTheHodgeheg I was just about to write the exact same !

Stephy1886 · 14/06/2024 23:18

Nah she sounds like a total cow

zzplex · 14/06/2024 23:19

Can you go low contact with her? That amount of negativity just isn't worth it.

DramaLlamaBangBang · 14/06/2024 23:19

Yes me too. She sounds like she's an attention seeker. She doesn't deserve to be invited to family celebratory meals in she can't behave and spends her time constantly criticising your children.

TomatoSandwiches · 14/06/2024 23:19

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 14/06/2024 23:16

She sounds a laugh a minute.

😂😂😂

To be honest I'd probably find myself laughing at her morbid talk.

GCAcademic · 14/06/2024 23:20

Another one here who doesn't understand why you'd invite a known positivity hoover to a celebratory event.

Merryoldgoat · 14/06/2024 23:21

Why do you spend time with her?

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:22

She lives in an annexe next to us and is part of the family - I couldn’t not invite her

OP posts:
NotInvolved · 14/06/2024 23:22

Oh I sympathise. I have a relative like this too. No matter what the occasion, it has to centre on her and usually involves a lot of discussions about what sacrifices she's made to be there, how much better her choice of venue would have been etc etc. And it's not always possible to just not invite people, unless you want a huge family row.
No advice sorry, but I feel your pain.

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:23

TomatoSandwiches · 14/06/2024 23:19

😂😂😂

To be honest I'd probably find myself laughing at her morbid talk.

TBH the DCs are quite good at wry humour at her

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 14/06/2024 23:23

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:22

She lives in an annexe next to us and is part of the family - I couldn’t not invite her

You have my sympathy

Perhaps play some nature sounds to cheer yourself up...high volume open the window

Twotimesrhymes · 14/06/2024 23:24

I wouldn’t bring her (I am in a similar boat with my attention seeking spoilt mother )

Kai125 · 14/06/2024 23:24

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:22

She lives in an annexe next to us and is part of the family - I couldn’t not invite her

Why not?

PickAChew · 14/06/2024 23:24

I'm amazed that you invited her and that you didn't tell her to STFU at any point.

Luminousalumnus · 14/06/2024 23:24

Are sure the funeral stuff wasn't meant to be entertaining? I mean I'm just back from a meal where we spent most of the evening talking about which kitchen implement would be best for a murder. But she sounds a bit tight not wanting separate events. Is she from an era where 18ths were not really a thing but 21sts were more Important?

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:26

PickAChew · 14/06/2024 23:24

I'm amazed that you invited her and that you didn't tell her to STFU at any point.

I actually did state rather firmly ‘move ON’ a number of times, while DH can’t be trusted not to be a wind up and draw out more ridiculous statements, so I had to give out Hard Stares too.

OP posts:
DramaLlamaBangBang · 14/06/2024 23:28

Do you have to invite her to everything just because she lives next door? What would happen if youvtold her ypubwrrextakingvthe kids for a celebratory meal and didn't invite her? Especially if she is such a miserable bat at every meal.

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:29

Luminousalumnus · 14/06/2024 23:24

Are sure the funeral stuff wasn't meant to be entertaining? I mean I'm just back from a meal where we spent most of the evening talking about which kitchen implement would be best for a murder. But she sounds a bit tight not wanting separate events. Is she from an era where 18ths were not really a thing but 21sts were more Important?

Nope, she’s a war baby and ‘we didn’t go out to restaurants or cafes’, as in ever (her uncle took her to a cafe once and that was it). She doesn’t really believe in liking food either 🙄

OP posts:
BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 14/06/2024 23:30

How old is she? Why does she live next door? I don't think I could handle that.

O2AreAShowerofShite · 14/06/2024 23:30

Have you had a conversation with her about her behaviour and how it affects others?

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:31

DramaLlamaBangBang · 14/06/2024 23:28

Do you have to invite her to everything just because she lives next door? What would happen if youvtold her ypubwrrextakingvthe kids for a celebratory meal and didn't invite her? Especially if she is such a miserable bat at every meal.

I do sometimes leave her out, and she tires too much for full family day trips now but she does care about the DCs so I thought she should be ther

OP posts:
AllTipAndNoIceberg · 14/06/2024 23:31

Move away

Milliondoll · 14/06/2024 23:31

O2AreAShowerofShite · 14/06/2024 23:30

Have you had a conversation with her about her behaviour and how it affects others?

Yep, apparently nobody else has ever found her to be like that (they so have)

OP posts: