To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

[gettingwhatyouwant]

No one seems to admit it on here (although in RL people do.) I insisted that I had no preference but I did have a girl preference in both pregnancies and especially in my second since that was my last.

YABU - only wanted a healthy baby
YANBU - I had a preference.

I was absolutely desperate to have girls, and happily got them. Being the youngest in my family the older siblings would leave me to look after their boys, completely put me off. I do have a grandson now and adore the cheeky little mite, makes me realize that it doesn't really matter what gender they are, you will love them anyway.

I had no preference with 1st.
But after 1st was a girl, I preferred a girl for 2nd. The thrifty/environmental conscious part of me wanted to be able to re use first daughters things for 2nd. And I had always wanted a sister growing up.

YANBU

I wanted a boy first so bad, unfortunately my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage which changed my mindset to a healthy baby.

However when I did get the news my second pregnancy was a boy, I can't lie I felt sooo happy!

I had no preference with first, we were young and didn't really think about it. Then a huge gap with losses inbetween so no preference with the second. I have one of each.
I think I would have wanted two of the same sex though if they were close in age. So they could be little mates 😳

I have three children. Two boys first and I absolutely was over the moon. I love my boys so much and even had a 'mum of boys' jumper after ds2 was born! Convinced I'd be a mum of boys forever. Fell pg for a third time. Couldn't ever have imagined it but at 20 week scan was told we were having a girl. My DH was so shocked he checked four times 😂 not because we didn't want a girl but because we just somehow didn't imagine it. Even when she was born we had to check that the docs were right! She will be 2 later this year and my god she's a force. She follows her brothers to the end of the world, tough as nails, utterly fearless. I wouldn't give up any of my kids for anything. Is their a difference between my boys and girl? Yeah, probably! But that doesn't change the difference between my two boys either. My eldest is meticulous, a wannabe engineer that analyses everything, into everything and wants to go and take on the world. My youngest son is a koala bear, cuddles me at every opportunity and tells me I'm a special mummy, just because, massive softy, his favourite thing is the pink power ranger ATM! They're all different, and absolutely magical. Their "sex" of "gender" is irrelevant. I'm absolutely blessed, wouldn't change a thing.

I genuinely had no preference for baby no.1. Baby no. 2 I secretly wanted another boy. And that’s what I got. I wouldn’t have been upset to have had a girl but I did want another boy. My DH openly wanted a girl for baby no. 2 but he wasn’t devastated or anything !

I did have a slight preference for a girl first time, and got a boy. I remember being a little disappointed after the scan. Of course, he was the Best thing to ever happen to me.

Second pregnancy I didn't have a preference either way and she was a girl.

I've had a pregnancy loss in the past, but this didn't affect how I felt. It really is an unconscious preference.

Every child is unique but there are obvious differences to raising boys and girls whether people like to admit it or not. Small things like the baby clothes and toys you buy/are gifted, and much bigger things like likely hobbies and future relationships; both your mother/child and other.

I had a bit of a preference for a girl the first time and a boy the second. Now that my children are older i know that their gender has very little to do with who they are. My little girl (now moody teenager) hasn’t worn a dress for over ten years, has a brilliantly dark sense of humour, is tough as old boots. My little boy is the least rough and tough person ever created, loves reading, hates spiders and never stops talking.

YABU
Honestly didn't mind either time

Only ever wanted a healthy baby. I got two girls and a boy.

I would've been happy with either, but if honest I had a preference for a girl. DH was the same. I lost my mum young so I think I wanted a DD to have that relationship. Second time, again I was happy with either but was pleased to have a second DD. I am sure if she was a boy I would've been equally as happy. I didn't find out either time until they were born.

I had a preference both times. I wanted a boy with my first pregnancy and had a boy. Wanted a girl with my second and had a girl! I didn't care with my other 2 pregnancies but had another boy then girl so I feel very blessed!

I think it's natural to picture your life one way or another and be disappointed if you don't have the life you envisioned. I think in most cases, once the baby is born then thst feeling dissappear over time!

Wanted a girl but would have been more than happy with a boy

Why?

I wanted girls, because I was planning to be a SAHM and a lot of the things I hoped to spend my time sharing with my kids are things girls tend to like more than boys. I had two girls and now we’re done - and they do in fact like a lot of the things I like, so that worked out.

I wouldn’t have not wanted a boy, but I don’t have brothers and I wasn’t close with little boys growing up. I don’t know much about little boys, but I feel sorry for them sometimes because while girls have a whole feminist movement telling them they can do anything, boys still have to put up with a lot of pressure to like “boy things.”

I didn’t care- very much in the you get what you’re given camp.

It was only when i announced at work that i was having a boy I realised it was a thing that some ppl get disappointed in. I had ppl asking if i was okay and regaling stories of how upset they were at first.

i remember calling family and friends to ask if they knew about this bizarre phenomenon.

But we found the gender out around the time there was a high profile rape and murder in the news and I have to say, it made me realise how having a girl wouldn't have been easier at all.

It’s interesting you say that - the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke while I was pregnant, and it made me want a girl even more. I figured I’d rather have a child who was victimized by some Harvey Weinstein type than a child who was some Harvey Weinstein type! I kept thinking how his mother must have thought he was such a wonderful son for naming Miramax after her and his father.

I wanted a boy and got a girl. However she’s not very girly so in some ways I got both 😂

It took nearly 5 years to have my first due to infertility so I didn’t mind but if I had to choose I would have preferred a boy as I have always had a tricky relationship with my mother and felt that I’d find it difficult and a lot of pressure having a daughter - it is quite hard to explain. I didn’t find out and when he was born my husband told me he was a boy. With my second, I suffered 5 miscarriages previously. I did prefer a boy again and found out that he was a boy. I do understand the preference over gender though as it would have taken me a while to get used to having a girl had my second been one just family dynamics and also what you thought your family would look like.

I forgot to add - strangers, mainly from the older generation seem to be very upset that I was expecting a second boy. At a miniature railway an elderly volunteer replied “oh dear another boy. You’ll have to come back when you’ve got your girl.” 🤣

I always wanted a boy, got a girl.

I really wanted girls. Fortunately I have 2. In all honesty, I would've been disappointed if my 2nd was a boy.

I've seen the way some MIL's can act when their boys try to go off and start a family. I know how many people can't stand their MIL and I'm glad I won't have to go through that.

Yes, I did have a preference both times and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I've always wanted a girl, and had a boy first time. I was slightly disappointed when I found out, but I do dearly love him, and wouldn't change him in any way. My husband isn't particularly macho or in to 'manly' stuff, and my son is the same. Sweet, kind, caring and interested in the world around him.

That being said when I was expecting the second time, I would have been happy either way, particularly knowing how lovely my son is, but still would loved to have experienced having a girl. I have a very close relationship with my mum and what that for myself too. As it happens my second is a girl.

With my first I was young and didn't really mind but would have loved a girl, I didn't find out the sex and I had a boy. I was thrilled, I have a lovely older brother so I think I thought I'd have a boy first then a girl to mirror my upbringing.

I then had a big gap between my first and second, my second wasn't planned and I hoped for a girl as I'd already brought up a boy. We found out and I was disappointed. I was worried I wouldn't bond with the baby. I think looking back I was in a bad place with my mental health and I fixated a little on it because as soon as he was born I was in love and only cared he was ok. We are super bonded and I wouldn't want him to be anything other than what he is!

Im now expecting a 3rd and planned baby After a miscarriage of a planned baby and although I think I shouldn't I do have a slight preference for a girl as I know this is my last pregnancy and last chance to parent a girl. We aren't finding out this time and I know I'll be thrilled if it's a 3rd boy when they're born anyway so don't feel the need to find out. I also think it'd be nice for my younger son to have a brother close in age and practically they could share a room and I've kept all of his baby things.

ive read the whole thread and seen a few "I judge people who have a preference" comments. I do feel bad for it but can you control how you feel? I know I am blessed to have my boys and I love them with my whole heart. If at birth someone said you can swap with the woman in the bed next to you because she really wanted a boy and got a girl I'd be horrified and hold my baby boys so tight there's no way I'd have even contemplated it! It's not like I don't want or don't love my boys I'd just love to be a mum of a girl too. I was very close to my mum and she died young so maybe it's that. Like I said I also have a lovely older brother.

it's just one of those things we're all different and some will have a preference some won't, some people's preferences will be stronger than others.

so many people in my life have asked if I'm finding out the sec of my current pregnancy and a few have said I hope it's a girl or it'd be nice for you to have a girl so I don't feel the judgement in person that's mentioned on here really. I love my boys and I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have been able to fall pregnant, carry and birth them.

I think I wanted a girl first but that was for silly reasons like the cute clothing. I also have a boy and it's so much easier! Both are amazing. But ultimately I love them both for who they are. I think when you are pregnant the unknown can be unsettling hence why I chose to have a scan to find out the predicted sex beforehand. Overall, I'm counting my blessings for two healthy children