To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

[gettingwhatyouwant]

No one seems to admit it on here (although in RL people do.) I insisted that I had no preference but I did have a girl preference in both pregnancies and especially in my second since that was my last.

YABU - only wanted a healthy baby
YANBU - I had a preference.

First time around I didn't really have a preference. Second time I really wanted a boy but think it was because that's what I was used to and couldn't imagine having a girl.

Biased but boys are the best 🤩😀

Also, contrary to what they will have you believe on here, it's a normal feeling and you don't have to pretend just because some people can't have kids 🙄

I wanted a boy. I have PCOS and it really affects me, my health and my self-esteem. I didn't want to pass that down to a girl. (I know it can go through the male line, but the chances are smaller). I know I would have loved a little girl just as much, but I would have felt so guilty if she had the same struggles.

I so desperately wanted boys. I always thought I'd never wanted girls- I always thought I'd never be a good girl mum.

Lo and behold, my first was a girl, and then twin boy and girl. So I've been blessed with two girls and I am so lucky and blessed to have them. ❤️

I knew I wanted at least one daughter, and I didn't mind if I never had a boy - but I wasn't overinvested first time around, and if she had been a boy, I wouldn't have been disappointed. I also was pretty convinced it was going to be a girl and she was.

Second time around I was equally convinced it was going to be a boy and he was! I think by then I had thought another girl would be nice, but I had mine when we didn't get scans to tell us beforehand, so I was hoping for another girl, in spite of the feeling that he was a boy. My heart sank for about 2 seconds when they said I had a son and then I got to hold him and disappointment vanished.

I'm now very glad I have one of each

Hmm not really, first time I slightly wanted a boy more and second time slightly wanted a girl more, wasn’t bothered really though. I have 2 boys

I was the same, still wound up with 2 boys!

And I must admit I cringe when the “boy mums” slag off girls. Strikes me as a bit “methinks the lady doth protest too much”. My boys are fab, but I have lots of nieces who are all wonderful girls and I love to bits. There’s no need to slag off the opposite sex. Be grateful for what you have. :)

I wanted a girl with both of my pregnancies. I wound up with two boys.

I love them dearly and wouldn't change them. Would I still like to have a daughter? Yes, but it's not in the cards. My boys are enough.

I didn’t really care when I was pregnant with my first and I had a boy.

wasnt too bothered with my second pregnancy but if you pressed me then I’d probably have said boy so my elder DS had a pal (I know it doesn’t always work like that!)

anyway I have two boys and they’re pals with each others and very brotherly

I really, really wanted a boy first time round. I didn't know until he arrived as hospital policy was not to disclose at the scan, but I was absolutely sure I was having a girl. Immediately after the birth I was so out of it I thought the midwife was lying to me when she told me I had a son.

I genuinely didn't mind with babies 2 and 3, I probably had a very slight preference for a boy both times and that's what I had.

Of course I'd have loved a girl if I'd had one, but I always felt more comfortable with the thought of being a mother of boys. I would say I minded more about not having a boy than I did about not having a girl.

I didn't care but I have 6 nieces and nephews so used to both and know they're all so individual.

Forgot To add: I had a wee boy and he's the light of my life. For a second either would be nice. I think more about what age gap I'd want

I always " knew" I'd have boys as I just couldn't picture myself with a girl
My eldest is 30, so before they would tell you the sex He was a boy and so were my other two
I did know with DS3 as I had an early scan, due to medication I was on.
He was a very welcome surprise!

@Waitingfordoggo sorry to single you out as you’re not the only one - but what if your DD had maintained an interest in pink and princesses and so on?

You know how we (rightly) point out that girls ‘can’ wear boys clothes but not vice versa because it’s good to aspire to be male but not female - I notice this with hobbies on here. A girl who canoes and does martial arts and ‘neutral’ stuff is a real smart, cool girl but a girl who loves makeup and love island not so much. My DS is ‘typically’ into tractors, cars and so on - they bore me to death but he isn’t me!

I didn't really think too much about what I wanted my baby's sex to be. The second time around I did think about how the sibling dynamic with my firstborn may be affected by the sex of my second child. I grew up with only sisters and I'm very close to them so I felt a little aprehensive about mixed sex siblings. I have a boy and a girl. I'm pleased to have 'one of each' and hold out hope that they'll still get on well.

My mum was definitely hoping for a boy and openly told us what our boy name would have been. She wanted to go shopping with us and for us to be miniature versions of her and it didn't really work out that way at all.

I wanted a girl, and I now realise it was because I wanted to give her the childhood I'd never had.

But I knew from almost the start that I was carrying a boy (just instinct, didn't want to know the scan results), so a girl wouldn't have felt like 'my' baby by the end.

He still got the childhood I'd never had. If I'd have had a second I'd have preferred a boy because I kind of knew what to expect.

I think often the preference for girls is, as a PP said, thinking of the long term/adult relationship.

I know on MN apparently there is no difference between boys and girls but ime men take far less initiative to have a close relationship with family once they've left home.

I have 2 boys and of course they are wonderful, and there is currently no difference between them and if I'd had girls, but I do worry for the long term relationship we will have. I am so close to my mum, and I fear I won't have that with my own children (even on MN, women being close to daughters is fine but men being close to mothers are negatively seen as 'mummy's boys')

Yanbu OP, it's extremely common but sometimes not openly admitted. There are swaying groups on FB where the majority are swaying the odds to get the opposite of what they already have. If their sway is successful they are over the moon but obviously not everyone's sway is successful and there is a lot of gender disappointed also when they find out. Others can say it's ridiculous or unfair on the baby but I suppose you can't change how you feel, can you?
Did you get the gender you wanted with the second?

I did @Mystro202 and even now sometimes feel euphoric!

Aw lovely, Congrats! 🥰

I wanted DS, DD, DS. I got DS, DS, DD. Wasnt disappointed though and love the bond my DS's have.

With my first I really was t bothered but if they had of been a boy I’m pretty sure I would’ve wanted a girl next whereas I didn’t care that other day.

I actually know two people who cried when they found out they were having boys.

I wanted a girl, but if I'd had a boy I'd have been happy for DH (his preference). I do wonder if he would have checked out less with a son, or if I'd have been doing all the grunt work either way (in which case I'm glad I got my preference).
The main reason I prefered girls was because in middle school my life was made absolute hell by the boys in my class. Not all of them of course, but the ones that left a lasting impression.

I always wanted girls, every pregnancy. I was never disappointed. I had 2 boys.

When I was pg with my third I had 2 girls and thought the third would be too. Found out at the scan that it was a boy and I was gutted, the only boys I knew were real mummy’s boys who were really clingy and my girls were so independent I struggled to see myself as a mum of a clingy child. Of course as soon as he was born I loved him unconditionally and still do, he’s bloody brilliant!
I didn’t have a preference initially, it was only when I knew it was a boy that I felt crap, and looking back now it was because I had limited experience with little boys. I knew loads of little girls and also had a baby sister born when I was 15 and was so close to her. I didn’t think I’d know how to be a good mum to a son - but I am!

When pregnant with Dcda twins I wanted 2 boys or 2 girls over one of each.