To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

[gettingwhatyouwant]

No one seems to admit it on here (although in RL people do.) I insisted that I had no preference but I did have a girl preference in both pregnancies and especially in my second since that was my last.

YABU - only wanted a healthy baby
YANBU - I had a preference.

No one seems to admit it on here

You can't have been here long almost every thread on gender disappointment is because the poster wanted a girl and is pregnant with a boy.

I genuinely didn't care I've known far too many people struggle to get pregnant or suffer a loss to think that whether it's a boy or girl matters.

True but the replies are overwhelmingly about how the poster is wrong to feel that way. Although ironically a lot of the replies are from mums of boys insistent that they only wanted boys and wouldn’t want one of those awful girls!

I only wanted a healthy baby, after a miscarriage. If you have a strong preference, I don't think you should have a baby. Kids can be whoever they want, their sex is such a small part of that.

I wanted a boy and be one and done. I'm not in the slightest girly and generally get on better with men and male sort of interests. So it was a shock to find out at 20 weeks baby was a girl but I'm glad I did. It gave me time to feel her move around and imagine her and to fall in love with her. I was so excited for her to be born and do love the bones off her. Then when we decided we wanted number 2, I was happy with either gender but actually leaning towards another girl. He was a lovely surprise but I honestly wouldn't have minded either way.

I had two losses before DD

Well yes it's wrong because if you want one specific gender you probably shouldn't be having children at all.

Can't say I blame the parents of boys on those threads it probably gets tiresome to hear all the gendered nonsense.

I’m definitely not trying to apportion blame. A lot of the time we feel how we feel and those feelings aren’t rational. And we might know they aren’t rational but still feel them.

I had a slight preference for a girl, but it wasn’t enough to have been disappointed if she hadn’t been.

DH had a huge preference for a girl, he openly admitted it. His was due to his immensely fucked up relationship with his own father and being terrified of replicating it. He would have loved a boy had they been born I’m sure but it would have surfaced all sorts of fucked up stuff. He was very relieved to have DD as he was anxious enough about being a dad.

We were always only having one so I guess that magnifies it.

I had a preference for a girl, yes.
I did have a daughter and when pregnant with my second the same feelings came back and I had a second daughter.

It's all I'd ever known, female cousins, nieces and a sister. It was my only comparison

Second time round. If you had said I could pick I would have picked boy. I do infact have two boys. First baby i was open to whatever

No and we have girl, boy, girl. My dh hoped our dd2 would be a girl as he wanted dd1 to have a sister. I wouldn't have minded either way.

I wanted at least one girl because I just prefer females. Not ashamed to admit. DC1 was a DD, and with DC2 I didn't mind as I had the daughter I'd always wanted. He was a boy, and I was happy to have him.

The heart wants what it wants.

There have been millennia of people preferring male children and going to gruesome extents to get them in favour of females, so I don't think a few women in the western world preferring daughters is a huge tragedy.

I did in the beginning but then it took us SO long to get pregnant that I was honestly just pleased and relieved to have a baby and didn't give a hoot about whether it was a boy or a girl.

Nope. I always thought my ideal was one of each. Had DS first, after that still liked the idea of one of each but by then realised I genuinely had no preference for what second would be.

I’m not sure that’s true in every case though @BluPeony . I have seen posts from women who’ve had a terrible time getting pregnant, IVF and lots of heartache and money and then experience gender disappointment. I think magnified as mixed in with horrendous guilt and shame.

I didn't really mind first time but I think I secretly slightly wanted a girl more, and had a girl. Second one I honestly didn't care and that's the honest truth. I was pregnant after a miscarriage so that's probably why. Had a second healthy perfect baby girl and couldn't have been happier

Not as such but I always imagined myself having a boy. I knew I’d only have one child so when I pictured myself with a baby it was with a boy. I lost my first pregnancy sadly, but when I got pregnant again I was still sure he’d be a little boy. The night before the 20 week scan where you can find out I did actually feel sad that the boy I had imagined might not be a boy after all! I would have been happy with a girl too, she’d have been loved just as much- but it’s funny how you build a picture up in your mind that then might need readjusting.

I did have a boy and he’s everything I imagined and more, but I’d have loved a girl just as fiercely- I just know I’d have had to get used to a different picture in my mind.

I was more comfortable with a boy. I was bullied at school by girls and have some issues of my own. I worried about having a girl and her having to navigate friendships etc.

I got my boy . Then 2nd time I got my girl. Honestly, she's THE BEST. I love her so very much. Looking back I see sex makes zero difference. You just love your child

I had a preference for one of each, although didn't/don't admit it openly.

I’ll be honest and say I hoped for a boy first of all and still not sure why.Anyway, it was a boy.Next baby was a girl, which was fine by me.

No never. All I wanted was a baby. But then I had fertility issues and never managed to conceive at all. I’m afraid I do judge people who have gender preferences, especially if they already have children.

I quite wanted one of each, which was what I got.

But equally I would have been happy to two boys or two girls. I mean I had zero control over it, so I didn't overthink it too much. You get what you get at the end of the day.

I actually really thought I was having a second boy when I was pregnant with DD, and I was very surprised when she popped out with a fanny!

Now I have a very wild and unreasonable daughter, who is filled with fire and BIG feelings and is very challenging to parent (or an utter joy and it can switch in the blink of an eye) and I often wonder what it would have been like to have two boys. 😆

You can’t possibly say how you will have felt when actually pregnant though I’m afraid. You can think you know but you don’t. It’s not a conscious thing.

Before I was pregnant I genuinely didn’t care. Minute I was pregnant the baby I imagined in my head was a girl. I didn’t choose that.

There was a slight concern that having a girl might have meant pink and frills and the opposite of the tomboy I was and how well I'd cope with that.

I had two boys and was happy with that. Both same sex meant more opportunities for reusing baby/toddler clothes

I wanted a girl. Probably more accurately I assumed I would have girls because they run so heavily in my family. ( I know, I know, it's the man's sperm but I still just assumed)

When I found out I was having a boy I was very surprised.

Why do so many people want girls in particular?