To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

[gettingwhatyouwant]

No one seems to admit it on here (although in RL people do.) I insisted that I had no preference but I did have a girl preference in both pregnancies and especially in my second since that was my last.

YABU - only wanted a healthy baby
YANBU - I had a preference.

I really really wanted a girl the first time. Then second pregnancy I was torn, I really wanted another girl to give my daughter a sister as me and my sister are so close. I would have been happy with a boy but i would have loved 2 girls. I was convinced I was having a boy second time around but had another girl and couldn't be happier. Also little boy clothes are just the worst

We put a preference for a boy the second time we adopted, we didn’t actually care either way, but we both knew that boys are less likely to be adopted.

1st I wanted a boy - I got a girl
2nd I wasn't that bothered - got another girl

Yes, me.
1st baby I absolutely wanted a girl and got 1.
2nd I said I didn't have a preference and honestly thought that was true until I felt overjoyed at discovering another girl. Now, I'm happy to admit I'm glad I don't have boys

@pambeesleyhalpert
One reason I wanted a boy was because I hated the girl clothes 😂😂

You’ll have all grandsons I reckon

@Crunchymum

I lived with it. DD1 is disabled.

I wanted two girls, and we were very lucky to have two girls.

I would only agree to a third if I could guarantee it would be another girl!

I had no preference either way. Didn't ask what we were having at the scan.

We had a boy - we were thrilled, but would have been equally thrilled will a girl.

He is now 10 and we didn't have anymore children, so only have a boy. No regrets - he's amazing!

The odds are you will have a grandson. Will you tell your DD she got unlucky, hopefully a girl next time, and love him less? Feel sorry for her?

Having a preference for a boy or girl does not mean you will be disappointed if you get the wrong sex. I fell in love with my babies well before they were born. I don't think that's unusual. I couldn't feel disappointed in my own baby. It wouldn't be possible.

My first pregnancy I had a preference for a boy ( I think this is because i was obsessed with my little brother as he was 8 years younger than me so it started then) second pregnancy I had a preference for a girl as I had a niece by then who I adore and just wanted to see what it would be like if I had a girl (would she be like niece etc) I didn't really mind either way though and on the 20 week scan with my second they found something wrong and said they couldn't tell yet so I remember begging in my head (praying even!) "I don't mind I don't mind boy or girl just let it be okay. And she was and I have a boy and a girl 🩷

You sound a bit defensive. Do you have boys?

Not sure why you assume I would be dissapointed with grandsons. They wouldn't be my children and I wouldn't be raising them. I'm sure my daughters will have their own preferences, just like I did.

I'm very happy to admit I'm glad I didn't have boys.

@EC22 I love this! preference doesn't mean disappointment 🩷

No, I have one of each!

And my goodness that’s cold. I’m also very happy you didn’t have boys.

I wanted a girl
First then didn't mind, my DH wanted a balance but didn't mind which order, we had girl and boy ... of course we all want a healthy baby 😋

I genuinely did not mind, and we decided not to find out via scans so didn't know until our son was born.

He's only 9 days old and absolutely the best thing I've ever seen, and I can't wait to raise a kind and respectful Man, like his Dad.

Having a preference isn't cold. Most people have a preference, even though the majority of Mumsnetters seem loathe to admit it for some reason.

Having boys and saying I regretted them not being girls - now THAT would be cold.

I wanted a girl and I was lucky enough to get her.

30 years ago though

A preference isn’t cold but the way you flippantly said ‘well they wouldn’t be my kids so who cares’ about what would be your own flesh and blood is 😱😱

@CheeseWisely 9 days! Amazing and congratulations 🥳

I had a missed miscarriage first time around and was so happy to go to my 12w scan, only to be met with no heartbeat and then a fairly gruesome / traumatic loss. After that, I genuinely didn't care and basically cried every scan I saw a healthy bean/ baby! I have 3 boys and adore them - they are so beautiful and wanted! I'd have felt the same about girls too. I honestly didn't care!

I have had 2 miscarriages but still had a preference for a boy. Although of course all I wanted was a healthy baby. Always imagined myself a boy mum. Did end up having a DS.

I think a lot of parents have preferences. I don’t have a preference for my second DC.

If you have a preference so strong that you’d consider abortion or are in bits or can’t love your unborn baby because you found out it’s the opposite gender to what you’d hoped for, then I think that’s when it is probably a bit too much.

And I don’t think people are ‘loathe to admit it’. Those of us with both sexes realise how inconsequential this entire conversation is. I think people get hang ups over everything in parenting though and insist what they have or did is the best, and that’s natural. I was (privately) obsessed over the age gap between my kids, as my siblings and I are all 2 years apart and wanted to replicate that.

I had a preference for a girl, simply because I'd never had much to do with boys/men before. Raising a girl seemed like it would be easier and the clothes were nicer. My baby was a boy, I was a little disappointed at first. But we found the gender out around the time there was a high profile rape and murder in the news and I have to say, it made me realise how having a girl wouldn't have been easier at all.

We're one and done, but if we were having a second I'd have a mild preference for another boy just for practical reasons. But I wouldn't be disappointed with a girl.