Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

245 replies

gettingwhatyouwant · 14/06/2024 12:51

No one seems to admit it on here (although in RL people do.) I insisted that I had no preference but I did have a girl preference in both pregnancies and especially in my second since that was my last.

YABU - only wanted a healthy baby
YANBU - I had a preference.

OP posts:
DelilahBucket · 14/06/2024 19:53

I was 22 when I had DS and I was devastated to find out I was having a boy when I desperately wanted a girl. As it happened I have loved having a boy. He's 16 now. We're probably closer than I would have been with a daughter.
It seems ridiculous, looking back, that I was so upset. I can't have any more children and a few years ago I would have given anything to have a healthy baby of any sex.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 14/06/2024 19:59

I somehow imagined I'd be having a girl - as did my DH. I had suffered two miscarriages, though, so I was over the moon to learn I was in fact having a healthy baby boy. This might sound a bit dark, but I'd gotten used to getting far worse news when having scans.

cjsxx · 14/06/2024 20:08

I really wanted a boy and I do infact have a son :) wouldn't mind either way if I had a second though

GSLady · 14/06/2024 20:13

I had such a strong preference that I went abroad and did gender selection. More people do it than you might think.

GreyCarpet · 14/06/2024 20:18

I had a boy first. Didn't care either way.

I had a girl second. Wasn't expecting it - no girls had been born in his family for over 100 years and there had been a lot of babies!

It was nice to have one of each but I wasn't really bothered.

Original poster
gettingwhatyouwant · 14/06/2024 20:20

GSLady · 14/06/2024 20:13

I had such a strong preference that I went abroad and did gender selection. More people do it than you might think.

Wow, really? Was that for a girl? (Obviously don’t answer if you don’t want to!)

OP posts:
Survivingmy3yearold · 14/06/2024 20:25

I really wanted a girl first time round and had DD ☺️ With number 2 DP would have really liked a boy, DD really wanted a sister and I wasn't really worried either way. We had DD2 and DP is the best girl dad and says now he's glad we've got 2 girls

xBeckyJayne · 14/06/2024 20:31

I am pregnant now with my first, I don't really have a preference as I have a name picked for each. People I know have said boys are "easier" - is this true? xx

PurpleFlower1983 · 14/06/2024 20:35

I had a preference for a girl because I had a strong feeling she was a girl (she was). I had the same strong feeling about a girl with DC2 - he’s a boy 🤣 I love them both of course.

Original poster
gettingwhatyouwant · 14/06/2024 20:36

I knew with both mine as well @PurpleFlower1983 , although convinced myself I was wrong with DD.

OP posts:
lynder · 14/06/2024 20:39

I had a slight preference for a girl. DH wanted a boy. We had a boy. I wouldn't say I felt disappointed at all. When I imagined I had a baby I always imagined a girl so I had to change that mental image but it wasn't a bad thing. It was just different.

If we were to have a second DH would probably prefer a girl and I'd like another boy.

All of these have been slight preferences. I think it's normal and I imagine most people deep down do have a slight one.

I did stop admitting it though when people asked me while pregnant because I felt like people were acting as if I'd said "I desperately want a girl and I'll be devastated if it were a boy" which wasn't true at all.

I don't think it matters because for most people once the baby is here you can't imagine them being anything else.

I have sympathy but can't really identify with the posts about severe gender disappointment. I feel like they're often rooted in deeper childhood issues. I think that's very different to a simple preference.

lalaloopyhead · 14/06/2024 20:39

With Dd1 I just felt like she was a girl from the off so didn't really think of that as a preference, with DD2 had a very slight hope for a boy but not disappointed. With Dd3 everyone thought we would now want a boy but too be honest I felt it would be more convenient to have another girl 🤣

ghostyslovesheets · 14/06/2024 20:39

I'm a bit of everything - history of MC so obviously just wanted a baby - but was raised in an all female household so did want a girl as it's what I knew (no never dreamed of dressing them in fancy dresses or playing Barbies)

Also I have a suspicion I don't carry boys - odd I know but my mum had 2 girls, 2 MC and a still birth in between me and my sister - of a boy. I had MC - Girl, MC - Girl, MC, MC,MC - girl. By number 3 I knew before I even got pg it would be a girl.

Ex sulked a bit about 'wanting a lad to take to football' until I pointed out I was an avid football fan, girls can go to football - be careful what you wish for because most of his weekends where spent ferrying about 2 teenager footy players!

GSLady · 14/06/2024 20:41

gettingwhatyouwant · 14/06/2024 20:20

Wow, really? Was that for a girl? (Obviously don’t answer if you don’t want to!)

Show quote history

Yes, for a girl having already had a boy. There’s a whole gender selection community on FB which you can join anonymously if you like.

Giantpaw · 14/06/2024 20:44

Dc1 wanted a girl. Got a boy.

Dc2 loved having a boy so much wanted another. Plus I had a vision of ‘brothers’ growing up together. Got a girl.

DC3 really wanted another girl, so I could have two girls close together and reuse clothes/stuff. Got a boy.

Adore them all though!

LemonDropsXx · 14/06/2024 20:50

First baby I didn't care, got a boy, second I wanted a girl, got a boy, third I wanted a girl, got a girl, pregnant again and would like another girl as I would love my girl to have a sister and practically with all the clothes etc would be helpful, don't know what we are having yet x

ohthejoys21 · 14/06/2024 21:06

I think it goes without saying that everyone wants a healthy baby. But beyond that I was desperate for a dd. Got her and adore her but she's SO different to me, sometimes I wonder how she can be mine!

Whereas my ds is much more similar to me.

I just wish they got on!

LoveMyKeeks · 14/06/2024 21:10

Above all, healthy baby. I always wanted 2 children, one of each and i do have one of each. I had my son first and I genuinely had no preference with my first. I obviously wanted a girl next but if I had have gotten a boy, I wouldn't have tried again. I always said I would rather have 2 boys than 2 girls..... I would never have wanted to "keep trying" for a girl. I came from a large family of 5 other siblings.

Sunnnybunny72 · 14/06/2024 21:21

I wanted one of each and got two boys.
What time has taught me over twenty years on, is that for us, two of the same gender has been absolutely the best outcome.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 14/06/2024 21:22

We had 3 girls.
If I could have picked, we would have had a son as well.

But tbh babe 3 was a close run thing and I ended up in high dependency unit.
We counted our blessings and moved on!

mondaytosunday · 14/06/2024 21:37

First baby I just wanted a healthy one. Second baby quite keen on a girl (first one was a boy, and I had two stepsons). She's sitting next to me right now!

Funnywonder · 14/06/2024 21:38

When I was pregnant with my first, I wanted a girl. I found out I was having a boy at my 20 week scan and was immediately delighted. All my thoughts of wanting a girl completely disappeared. When I got pregnant again, I wanted another boy, partly because I loved my son so much and wanted another one and partly because I thought they would be company for each other. They're not😬🤣

Thisissopainful · 14/06/2024 21:51

First time I had a feeling I was having a girl right up until almost the end. Had a beautiful boy who was very sick and only survived a few weeks. Second time I only wanted a baby who would live. Had another boy and have always been perfectly happy with that and never felt the need to try for a girl. I find it hard to relate to gender disappointment as a result and feel people should be happy with what they get as long as the baby is healthy. I realise my experience has coloured my view.

OneHandInPocket · 14/06/2024 21:55

I desperately, desperately wanted our baby to be a boy. We decided not to find out until the birth, but I couldn’t conceive of it being a girl & “knew” it was a boy. And it was. My heart did a somersault when I held him in my arms that first time.
He is our one and only. I try to tell myself I would have loved the baby just as much if it had been a girl. But I’m not so sure …

xBeckyJayne · 14/06/2024 22:00

mondaytosunday · 14/06/2024 21:37

First baby I just wanted a healthy one. Second baby quite keen on a girl (first one was a boy, and I had two stepsons). She's sitting next to me right now!

🩷☺️

Swipe left for the next trending thread