To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

[gettingwhatyouwant]

No one seems to admit it on here (although in RL people do.) I insisted that I had no preference but I did have a girl preference in both pregnancies and especially in my second since that was my last.

YABU - only wanted a healthy baby
YANBU - I had a preference.

I was a bit scared of having 2 boys because everyone I know who as that combo go through at least a stage of them beating the shit out of each other! (At least, that's what it looks like. Often the parents don't seem bothered)

After my first was a girl, that fear was over. I assumed my second would be a boy as that is the pattern in my family. But it wasn't a preference. And we had a girl

I have both sexes and I started the conversation! I’m not sure why having boys and girls means you wouldn’t have had a preference.

I do find it harder to understand when people just don’t want boys, or girls. I wouldn’t be at all bothered what sex a third would be.

Only wanted one - not bothered whether it was a boy or girl. Ended up with twins - one of each - very happy.

When I found out I was having twins, I had a preference for at least one to be a girl. I was quite daunted by the prospect of raising twin boys. They turned out to be girl/boy and my boy is by far the easier of the two.

It's not cold, it's just a fact.

You're implying I would be upset if I ended up with grandsons, but why? They wouldn't be my children. Thats not to say I wouldn't love them, just that whether they are boys or girls would be completely irrelevant to me, because I'm not their parent. I'm sure my daughters will have their own preferences.

I can honestly say no, both times. Had a girl then a boy. I don't doubt for one second I'd be equally happy if I'd had two girls or two boys. I will admit to being silently judgey of people who have a sex preference.

I wanted a girl and got two of them 🩷

After 2 miscarriages, I just wanted a healthy baby and honestly had no preference. Now I have my DS, I can't imagine not being a mum to a boy.

I was swaying slightly towards wanting a girl when I was pregnant with ds1 because I had a lot of misconceptions about the differences between boys and girls. I grew up in a family of all girls so I worried I didn't know enough about boys. And also dh and I had a girl's name we loved but couldn't agree on a boys name. When I found out he was a boy, some people made awful and untrue comments like he would wee in my face at every nappy change, it would be football on the tv all the time and I wouldn't be "allowed" to watch the soaps etc. But I soon realised all this was stupid and when we finally chose a name we both loved and I realised that baby boy clothes were just as cute as baby girl clothes, if not cuter. And I just loved my baby boy. 5 boys later, dh is still the only one in the family who likes watching football on tv. And I'm still the only one who likes soaps. But there are lots of things we all like watching and doing together. Ds3 loves acting so I get to see a lot of shows which I love. Ds4 and ds5 like soft play and ds1 likes going out for lunch. Ds2 likes trampolining.

With DS2 I was hoping a bit for a boy because I thought it would be more likely they would be close. With my last one (ds3, ds4 and ds5 were all supposed to be my last ones!) I was hoping for a boy because I had so many comments about how I must be wanting a girl to "complete" my family. With a biggish family of children all the same sex, many people assume that I had 5 children because I was trying (and failing) to produce a child of a different sex. I didn't want my boys to pick up on that and think they weren't good enough.

Because presumably the reasons you’re glad you don’t have sons would apply to your grandsons?

I honestly wasn’t bothered about the gender, the only time I’ve ever thought ‘I wish I had a daughter’ was a fortnight ago when I was being blasted with nerf pellets at that new nerf experience at the Trafford centre 😂

Thank you!

I didn’t care. I just wanted to have children with my partner.

Peoples preferences are so often based on stereotypes, wanting to recreate relationships with their parents or prove they can do it differently, which are all harmful one way or another.

Kids are individuals and shouldn’t have expectations placed upon them based on their sex.

I don't have any kids, however, would have a strong preference to a boy.

Yeah, after six miscarriages I was really gutted to find out I was having a boy. After that I stopped waking up in cold sweats hoping he was still alive/healthy. I would have been soooooo much happier with a girl 🙄🙄🙄 some people need to get a grip

I desperately wanted a boy, but I didn’t tell anyone in case I had a girl.

I had a boy!

With dd I didn’t really think about what I wanted as I assumed that she would be a boy. (Dh is one of many boys and his brothers all had all boys so I didn’t think that there were any girl sperm available.) I was very happy when they said that she was a girl though. (Once I got over my confusion!)

With ds, toddler dd had been adamant that she wanted a baby sister so I wanted a girl for her.

I wanted boys 100% and got them

I definitely had a preference! Mine was the one I'd hoped for. However, I'm pretty sure if they were the other sort I would still have loved them and been very happy.

It's interesting how there are posters getting annoyed and targeting those that had a preference for girls, but not commenting on those that had a preference for boys

I wanted 2 girls because that was my experience of siblings.

I got a girl first and I thought I'd have another girl. I then had a boy and, hand on heart, I love the pair of them equally.

I was scared at first when I heard the news of a boy as I " didn't know what to do" with a boy, but that's just gender stereotype rubbish.

They are their own personalities. It's great to watch them grow and develop and witness their love for each other.

Didn't have a preference, but expected to have a boy due to only having experience of brothers on each side (my parents only had brothers too)

Ended up with 2 girls. One is a tomboy - goes to cubs, plays football, friends all boys. The other is more traditionally girly - loves pink/ unicorns etc, friends all girls.

I wanted 2 of the same sex as I have a brother and don't have much in common with him now.

The women I know with the worst gender disappointment are those who have all boys and come from very female families - only sisters, close to their mums etc. I get it, it's their blueprint for family life, just like mine was having brothers.

No strong preference but I’d marginally rather had a boy (twice) which is what I got both times.

I always wanted a boy first. As soon as I was pregnant I “knew” we were having a girl. I wasn’t at all disappointed though, I was just over the moon to be pregnant.

DC2 was a boy and I was pleased but I don’t think it would have been a disappointment if he’d been a girl.

so yes I had a preference but in the end I was overjoyed with what we had.

I wanted a boy because I had a very poor relationship with my own mother and was afraid of replicating it. I got a girl. So far, so good, but she's only 14 so there's still time for it all to go wrong.