To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

[gettingwhatyouwant]

No one seems to admit it on here (although in RL people do.) I insisted that I had no preference but I did have a girl preference in both pregnancies and especially in my second since that was my last.

YABU - only wanted a healthy baby
YANBU - I had a preference.

I had a slight preference for one of each, in any order, but wouldn't have minded if I'd had two girls or two boys. I did end up having a dd then a ds. I never assumed that having a girl would mean pink and frills, and it very much hasn't (except for a brief period between the ages of about 3.5 and 5).

I wanted a girls so badly

I had huge anxiety while pregnant until I found out the gender. I hadn’t thought about a preference before that but knowing she was a girl was a huge relief. Or perhaps it was knowing the gender made her real. I’d only want girls from here on in, but am one and done so it’s moot

That's your confirmation bias. If you read through the comments loads of people say they had a preference for a boy.

@WilliamButt i think what I mean is that if somebody posts about it the answers usually aren’t very sympathetic and insist no preference. I just wondered how true this was.

Nah. No point in having a preference. You get what you’re given!

I didn't really mind, because I was convinced there would be positives and negatives either way. I was not wrong 😂

I did have a preference for a girl first pregnancy. Second I alternated between really not caring either way and kind of wanting another girl.

Preference for a girl because I've always had better relationships with women, and most sons I know are far less in touch with their families than the daughters. My own brother never calls our mum and moved really far away. Of course this could happen with a daughter but from my own experiences it happens with men a lot of the time and very rarely with women, so this has shaped my feelings about having daughters/sons (possibly wrongly).

I wanted my last child to be a girl. I didn't mind with the first two but it was a very different feeling with my last. He's a boy and he's nearly two and I'm still disappointed. I love him i care for him and he won't suffer because he's not the sex I wanted but the feeling is real. Yea obviously a healthy child is the goal and the sex of that child isn't what we should focus on but we do still have feelings. I also wanted him to have dark hair like his dad and he's blonde saying that doesn't seem to get the vitriol you get for admitting you would have wanted a different sex.

Regardless we get the children we get and each one is a blessing. You may get the sex you want but they still have a personality you would not have chosen. Children are more than their sex

I genuinely had no preference but was convinced I was pregnant with a boy, so when I was told girl at a gender scan, I cried partially due to shock but I didn't experience any disappointment, I'd just convinced myself she was a boy until that point.

She's definitely DD, and honestly, I think I'd like a boy if I ever had another, however I wouldn't be disappointed if I had another girl.

I do 100% understand why people experience gender disappointment though, and I imagine it must feel terrible.

No real preference, for me it was part of the fun of meeting them!

I did go on to have two of the same, which has only reinforced to me that sex isnt that important - they're so different from each other, they couldnt be more so if they were different sexes

I wanted a baby and that’s what I got. I genuinely didn’t give a monkey’s arse what I had. We have 2 sons. They’re absolutely amazing and we couldn’t be happier.

We, also, have a 5.5mth old grandson. DDIL & DS2 didn’t have a preference either way. They didn’t find out what they were having throughout the pregnancy, they wanted a surprise. Everyone was absolutely over the moon when he was born. He’s happy and healthy. That’s all that matters.

@PurpleBugz that’s really honest

I wanted a girl both times I was pregnant. Luckily I had two girls. I prefer female company in general so that’s why I wanted girls

Girl!
boys= increased chance of having to do football and peeing around the toilet rather than in it!

Before my 20 week scan I had vague visions of having a girl - I think this was to 'redo' my own childhood through her, and fix the past in my head.

Anyway, turns out, I have two boys!

But no disappointment as such

Agree, both of mine are very different

Nope, there is no difference between male and female children until puberty.

Our first pregnancy was a MMC so alive was all we wanted for DD1 and DD2. We had planned 3 but that wasn't to be.

I overwhelmingly wanted a girl. I felt terrible guilt about it.

But I wanted a girl because I understand what it means to be a girl / woman, felt I’d be a good parent to a girl because I’d be able to help her through things like puberty etc with kindness and care, also - superficially - I’m not into the stereotype of “boy stuff” (football, video games, Pokémon, etc - although I know that plenty of girls like these things and plenty of boys don’t!).

Anyway; I got a boy and no girl. I was disappointed when I found out at the scan, but the moment he was born he was glorious and I loved him so much that there was just joy where there’d been disappointment.

I have mourned never having a daughter, though. I’ve had some therapy about it and I understand now it’s more about reparenting myself. I didn’t have a mother who understood me, and I (unconsciously) thought that having a girl would be having another go at a mother-daughter relationship, but this one with more kindness and more love.

When I was pregnant I really didn't mind what I had, we didn't find out the sex. When my DD was born I was over the moon and realised she was exactly what I wanted. Had I given birth to a boy I probably would have been just as happy but I'll never know.

I assumed I’d have a girl and was initially disappointed to be pregnant with a boy - because I found my brother and his mates to be annoying dickheads and I didn’t want a child like that.

I got my head around it quickly enough. It turns out sons are nothing like annoying smelly younger brothers 😉

My DS1 was so “practically perfect in every way” (thank you, Mary Poppins) that I would happily have had lots of boys just like him. As it was, I had a boy and a girl.

They are all wildly different in character and all amazing in their own ways.

i recently witnessed it with my SIL.. he desperately wanted a boy.. so much so that they had a private gendar reveal before the big family one so that if it was a girl he could allow himself time to get used too it. it was hard on my daughter because it left her feeling like she would be letting him down..

he admitted that once he was over the initial shock, he would still love the baby, but he really really wanted a boy first.

they got a boy... he really doesnt care what baby number 2 and so on is..

I'd love to see a separate post on this for 'gender difficulties'. People often say having one gender is more difficult, but it would be interesting to see a post for those with kids of different genders, which actually is the 'hardest'.

I have a boy and twin girls. Never had a preference.

It doesn’t make much difference.

I really wanted a girl and I didn't feel guilty about it because I know if I'd ended up with four boys I'd have been delighted. I knew I'd have loved all my kids the same regardless if they were boys or girls but I knew I'd like a girl or two. I would never have been disappointed in any child I had. You can want a girl AND still be completely happy with a boy.

As it was I got two girls and two boys, all now adults, and they are all amazing. It has ended up that I spend more time with my girls but I'm equally close to all of them.