Is this too much?! Would I be mad to go back?

[Saturdayfeelingsallweek]

I split up with my bf of a year and half about 4 weeks ago. It was my decision to leave as he was becoming controlling, possessive and argumentative.
Since we have broken up I blocked him on my phone and Instagram. But left him archived on my WhatsApp.
There was no contact for around 3 days after I left, then he started to whatsapp me, some days being about 100 messages a day, full of promises of moving in together, him getting counselling, us getting counselling together, marriage…whatever I want just as long as I take him back.
He turned up at my house with flowers a week after we had split up. I agreed to a phone call in the hope that it might make him realise that I didn’t want to reconcile.
The messages continued, ranging from the begging to him being quite angry.
We had 2 further calls, after him begging to speak.
I made it perfectly clear I had no intention of us getting back together.
Anyway the messages have continued until I feel like I have been completely worn down and agreed to a counselling session together and asked him to leave me alone until then.
He again didn’t stop with the messaging so I blocked him on WhatsApp too.
That is when the emails started, plus him calling from 2 numbers I didn’t know he had. I suspected they were him and didn’t answer but he left a voicemail.

After all of this…is he absolutely batshit crazy or is he right in saying he can completely change, is that even possible?!
Or am I completely bonkers to even be considering giving him another chance and trying the counselling?
So confused, I know what I want but he makes all these promises and I can’t help thinking about how life could be so good together if he did all that promised.

Don’t even think about getting back with him.

He's harassing you, consider reporting to the police if it continues

This is harassment, not love.

First reply nails it.
He's bullying you into taking him back. He won't change.

This is stalking, love. You should report it to the police and change your locks.

Crazy? He's dangerous. This is stalking. Report him to the police.

This x 100.

YABVU to even think about it, let alone do it!!

He doesn’t respect your wishes, made repeatedly.

So why do you think he will change? He’s showing you that he does not respect your wishes - at all.

This is harassment and controlling behaviour, and you need to draw a line in the sand now. No meetings, conversations or anything.

The constant messages are concerning. Test his commitment to your feelings by asking him to not contact you at all for a week.

If he truly loved you he would respect your wishes and boundaries op.

This is harassment because he cannot stand that you have a mind of your own and he can’t control you.

Edited to say: be careful. Tell all of your friends and family about this situation. Set up a couple of emergency contacts. Tell everyone where you are going. And obviously, don’t meet him. Tell him to leave you alone and record every occasion when he contacts you. And if his behaviour escalates any further, don’t hesitate to contact the police.

You finished it because he was being controlling and possessive. Now he's being controlling and possessive x1000!! Please, please, please don't get back with him OP. Block him on everything and if necessary report him to the police.

If he had been silent would you have changed your mind? Him begging should not change your mind..

Screenshot it all, print it off, take it to the police, press charges for harassment, block him everywhere and never ever speak to him again.

Wish I had done this, wouldn't be in the absolute mess I'm in now 😔

Get yourself far far away from this nutcase. No lass, he will not change. Ever.

He is trying to control you.

If you did get back together with him do you really think he would forgive you for this?

I did on multiple occasions over the last month, saying I would get in contact when I was ready. He managed about a day before starting again and getting incredibly frustrated with my lack of reply, telling me that I was heartless and cruel, and how could i do such a thing to him.

Is he sending these from his iPhone??

Seriously no. Block him completely on every platform and just before you do tell him if he contacts you again you will be reporting him for harassment.

You broke up because he was controlling, possessive and argumentive.

He has harassed and controlled you into speaking to him and having counselling in a possessive way and will argue when you tell him it is over. He did it with you and is doing it without you. If you go back it will only ever be worse because he will believe this is the way to be with you. You aren't being cruel - he is.

Block and run! As fast as you can.

He's bat crap crazy
Love bombing with a hint of harassment.

Don't do the counselling either. It's not advised to do joint counselling with someone like this. You know he's manipulative already and if the councillor isn't aware he could talk you both round.

Send him a message. 'I've put further thought into this and have cancelled our session as I have no intention of renewing our relationship. Please note this is the last text I will send. I do not require a reply to this message. If further unwanted contact continues (messages, calls, emails, visits etc) then I will contact the police.

And follow through.
Good luck

Cut off all contact with him. He will never change. Those promises are idle fantasies.
I would encourage you to report the stalking behaviour, and take every step you can to protect yourself and your well-being.

No, not really. I think he would make me feel guilty about this forever and want me to be constantly trying to win back his trust.

Don't think of how things could be if he kept all these promises, think of how they are right now. This guy can't stop harassing you and has bullied you into attending counselling. Don't go, he'll see it as a sign.

Seriously, block him on everything.

Do not go back, do not go to counselling, he's draining you and bullying you into doing what he wants. This will be the hamster wheel of your life if you stay with him, when a man loves you it doesn't feel like guilt and pressure into doing things you're uncomfortable with. He would be listening and respecting you and your requests.
I know we are only anonymous people on a forum but I am telling you from experience please stay strong, you left him for a reason. Is there anyone who can support you with him while this is going on?.
Also, please consider reporting to the please so it's at least logged.

So many red flags here - run for the hills!

I agree with everyone. It’s not love, it’s harassment. Protect yourself.

Yes you are batshit.

my ex did something extremely similar. The calls and messages continued for about 8 months although they got less.

you need to not engage.

He is stalking you. Please block him. Keep copies of everything and contact the police. Having anything to do with him is a terrible idea. Be careful.