Dating short men

[Shinefast]

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

Attraction doesn’t have to be logical or thought-out. It’s an animal instinct isn’t it? I would never outright rule out any particular ‘type’ of man but there are things that I am less attracted to. I have never been attracted to a very stocky rugby type man for example. I am generally not very attracted to men who aren’t hairy. I have also never been attracted to a very short man. I can’t make myself fancy someone. And yes, long-term, it’s not going to be looks that matter but character, but there usually does need to be some strong physical attraction, at least at the very start.

Nowt wrong with short men, except the ones who have a chip on their shoulder (which I know is because of societal pressure and expectation that being tall is better). My DD, who is 5ft 1 went out with a lad who is about 5ft 3. Really lovely young man- except he had a massive chip on his shoulder about his height unfortunately. He was deeply insecure and would bring it up in conversation to moan bitterly about it. His height didn’t put her off, but his bitterness and insecurity did.

husband number 1. 6 foot 2. then met long term relationship guy.. he was lovely but did not want to be a stepfather or a dad..so I ended it.. 6'7. met my husband who adopted my daughter. Not tall dark and handsome. Shorter than my normal..blonde hair blue eyes (NOT MY TYPE) he is 5 foot 9. says he is 5'10 but he is delusional lol. I am 5'3 so he is still taller than me but short compared to my "type" Now he is my type because I love him and how he loves our family. He was a single dad so i have two bonus sons as well. Don't pigeonhole yourself on types.

I don’t. Never have. An ex of mine was 5 foot 11 and a nasty bastard.

would much rather have a short, sexy and lovely guy than a tall one who is intimidating.

i find tall men intimidating and not particularly sexy.

having said that I wouldn’t bin one of just because of his tallness if he genuinly was nice

It does sound superficial. Why are short men considered unattractive? The tall dark and handsome myth should have died years ago.

I’m 5’7 and only date taller men. I have dated a guy that was 5’9 and I felt like I couldn’t wear heels or proper clothes with him.

my tall dark and handsome practice husband was abusive as hell to me.. my really tall dark and drop dead gorgeous boyfriend at 30 years old and single, was lovely but had commitment issues with kids and spoiler alert..I had one lol..so I ended it with many tears. Then at 34 .. I met him. Short (not really but much shorter than my type) blonde hair blue eyed dad to two boys that he had full custody of. 25 years later here we are retired early in the dominican republic and I would not trade him for the world

A big turn off if the guy is shorter than me. You can find a guy that get on with you and is tall. If you are asking yourself this you are kidding yourself to carry on. Do not waste time and go for what you really like. A bit taller would not do it for me either.

I'm 5'1, DP is 5'4 (he says 5'5 but...) he's absolutely not my traditional type but he's so confident in who he is that the height thing has never been an issue. He's 100x nicer, kinder and funnier a human than my ex who met my "criteria". It does get frustrating when we have to reach high and neither of us can manage so we have to get the stepladder out though.
Dont discount just on the height. DP never mentioned it to me either but it wasn't because he was hiding it, it was because it genuinely didn't enter his consciousness as it matters so little to him.

What makes me cringe even more.... (and I have known a few blokes like this) is when a man says they like women to be small, and 'petite' and 'tiny' and 'dainty' like fucking Tinkerbell! 😆 I've known a few men who want a woman at least 10 to 12 inches shorter than them, weighing no more than eight stone and being a size six to eight. They need to be tiny.

Even my brother occasionally describes a tiny woman like it's a really positive and amazing thing ... eg; this (female) salesperson came into his workplace the other day. He described her as 'so tiny, so teeny tiny,' and then puts his hand (palm facing down) virtually down by his waist to describe this small and teeny tiny woman - like it's really endearing and amazing and attractive to be teeny tiny. It's just as naff as thinking it's somehow superior, and better and more attractive to be taller (than it is to be shorter.)

My DH is 5 foot 9, and I am 5 ft 2. We match very well IMO. I don't think I'd want to be with any man any taller than him. He says he would not want a woman over 5 ft 5.

I think it would make things really awkward to have more than 8 inches difference in height. My friends is 5 foot 9, and says she could never be with a man less than 6 foot 5, which I think is really odd because we really are an extraordinarily low amount of men that tall!

But the man in question isn’t shorter than the OP. He’s taller.

However, if you are short leave the tallest one for us. 🤣🤣🤣

Ha no. Worded ambiguously. The 6’3 was awkward as he was so tall. Then the next one was only 2 inches taller THAN ME. So 5’9. I found it a more comfortable fit

It's not necessarily his height that's making you question yourself, it may be that in your post you felt he was over keen.
He may have been on first dates before, and felt he didn't get a further date because of his height... therefore because he had a good rapport with you, and you came across to him as interesting, he wants you to know that he'd like a second date... he well might've seemed too interested, but because of previous rejection, he's wanting you to know that if you are up for a second date, so is he.

I believe the whole "man taller than woman" thing has been drilled into us from an early age, so ear, that we don't even realise.
Also media would have you believe the same thing.
Similarly, you feel the "protective factor" in a much taller man.

Personally, I have known men an inch taller than I, they have been great personalities etc, but no matter how much I berated myself, I couldn't go to the next stage with them.
Weirdly tho my man that I've been with for well over twenty years is only a couple of inches taller, and I think he's sexy, funny fun, caring and compatible to the degree I never want him not to share my life.
This is why I said it's not necessarily the height alone.
Maybe try a couple more dates, be mindful not to give him false hope.
Lots of inches taller than you, is no guarantee to a happy ending.
Good luck!

Not eat ... I meant early 🫣

Exactly
If his height bothers you so much then let him be and let someone else enjoy his company.
Obviously people like what they like and you want a tall man, but turning down a lovely decent man because of his height seems a bit sad tbh

Oh ha ha, I see now. 😄 Thanks for explaining. 🤗

Let’s not pretend ‘tall’ isn’t on the wish list for the majority of women. Not sure what you having a nasty 5ft 11 ex has to do with anything.

As you have DC, Just be wary of lovebombers and cocklodgers, and dads looking for a woman to take on care of their kids in THEIR contact time.

I’m the minority then. And my SIL - she is 6ft and my DB is 5ft 8. She very nearly did filter him out because of his height but 15 years later she’s very happy she didn’t.

Yes, you are in the minority. Good for your SIL, hence me saying OP should push past it.

I can't relate really.

I'm 5'5'' and my DH is 5'7'' (my ex was 6'1'') - it never really crossed my mind when I met either of them. In both cases it was their personality/intelligence I was more interested in.

I guess I could understand more if you were tall yourself.

The person I know who has ever stated to be it as an issue is an acquaintance who started dating again after divorce - she is only 5'1'' but she wouldn't consider anyone under 6'. I thought it was quite blinkered. She is with a 6'+ bloke now but he is a bit of a twat - personally think her filtering process was off. Way more important things than height but, as you said, if that is what floats your boat...or do you think it is just what you're used to?

In 10 years you'll back on here complaining that there are no good men, whilst the sort guy you've left will be on his 8th year of a happy marriage.

If he's taller than you what's the problem?

I don't see the difference between a 5'2 woman with a 5'7 man than a 5'7 woman with a 6' man.

A 6' woman with a 5'7 man does look odd (beard) but it's still ok!

Oh, I had to let one of these go a few months back! He was a couple of inches shorted than me and so skinny that he looked almost child like. I wasn't physically attracted to him in any way. He was a nice, caring and kind man however, he was also very clingy and full on from the off. It made me think that not many others were interested in him either. He gave me the ick in the end.

YANBU, you like what you like. There's nothing wrong with having preferences. If you want a tall man, go for it.

Personally it doesn't bother me. I'm 5'11'' and dated all sorts. Shorter than me, my height, taller. My current partner is 6'2'', but I didn't choose him because he's taller than me.

It's the other way around for me. I love being Amazonian, towering over people (most of the women and quite some men, esp in heels) and hate the 'teeny weeny dainty woman with a Big Protective Bear' trope. Dated one basketball player, about 7 feet tall and didn't like it one bit. I felt short with him and hated that feeling.

That said, I wouldn't date a fat man. I'm not attracted to them. I'm skinny and like my men on the slender side. It's just my preference. I also like pretty much all the MN 'no-nos': love beards, heavily tattooed men, piercings, don't mind a smoker, wouldn't date a completely teetotal man, wouldn't date a vegan/vegetarian and much more.