Dating short men

[Shinefast]

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

I am only 5'1 myself! As long as the guy was at least a bit taller than me I wouldn't care about height, although I prefer not too tall. Years ago I dated a guy who was about 6'5 and used to hate him holding my hand when we walked, I felt like a child being led around!

The average height for a man is 5ft 10 so there will be lots of men who are shorter than that.

I'm just over 5ft 5 and I wouldn't like to date someone shorter than me (which is very few men), or anybody extremely tall. Aside from these two extremes, height isn't something that I particularly notice.

If your debating whether you like someone or not op then that’s fair enough, there has to be something about someone that really gets your interest, be it their face, hair, arms, voice, you get the picture, but for god sake, just keep it to yourself, this sort of talk on anyone’s apparent faults in appearance is so offensive.

my partner of 20 years is my height, before I dated shorter guys and much taller. I remember really being into a guy quite a bit shorter than me, cried when he broke up with me, never thought about his height, a really tall one I remember just being incredibly big and awkward lol, but anyhow we didn’t click, you just know when your into someone and they are into you.

so male or female, just forget the bloody checklist, leave that to the sad superficial ones. However, if your debating keeping hold of a good kind man, who you don’t really fancy as he’s apparently defective in some area, like height, then cut him loose to find someone who will fancy and cherish him and vice versa and concentrate on finding a tall man, who possibly won’t be great in terms of a future together, but at least he will be tall.

only you know when someone is right for you, we don’t!

It's up to you, I don't think it's the height really that's bothering you.

I'm 5'2" and I would probably struggle to fancy a man who was the same height as me, or only an inch or so taller, but there are very, very few men as short as that, so I think that's more because it would just seem jarring, much like it would be jarring if someone turned up to a date and they were 7ft. It would be startling and I'm not sure I could ever ignore it, if you see what I mean.

But I could certainly fancy a man who was, say, 5'6".

Ultimately, nobody can force themselves to be physically attracted to someone, even if they're a nice person, and I also think that first impressions are a lot more important in online dating than they are when you meet someone in a non-dating context and just sort of grow to find them attractive over time.

I think that is a good idea. I’m 5’ 7” and DH is 5’9”…he’s not that tall, but he has many sterling qualities. Give the guy another chance and then see what you think. He may be a bit keen, but there are a lot of women who won’t date short men, and he may have been looking for someone compatible for a long time. If it isn’t any good after the 2nd-3rd date, let him down kindly. I wasn’t sure about DH until about 3-4 dates in, and then I realised he was a keeper.

My DH is only slightly taller than me and it has never bothered me. Regarding him being keen, I much rather he was keen than doing this hot&cold crap lots of men do.
Are you sure you are not looking for faults in him in a way to protect yourself?

I know what you mean, I’m 5’3 married to 6’5. I’ve always thought I like tall and athletic men, “I want to climb him like a tree” sort of thing. But after a decade of marriage I actually would not recommend that… Get a short king. Compact men take less space, have smaller feet and are easier to feed. With tall one a single pair of his size 11 trainers will take half of your hallway, you will always need to go to nicer hotels as he wouldn’t fit into basic bed and always pay for extra legroom on planes as his KNEES would not fit into Ryanair seat. And feeding them is expensive, can’t get away with a piece of toast - that would burn down even before reaching the end of esophagus.

I prefer shorter stockier men.
The worst for me is tall and skinny…
Not every woman likes tall men.

I do know what you mean by the “protector” bit but there is no reason a short man can’t be a good protector. It is all down to the individual personality.
I have been out with men of various heights from about 5ft 6 to an almost 7ft giant. I am 5ft 9 so quite tall for a woman. First husband was same height as me, second husband 6ft 1. Both were shite at protecting me from anything tbh. I have always been the capable partner.
I had an enormous crush on a lecturer years ago who was about 5ft 5. If he had shown any interest I would have definitely wanted to take things further.
I am also thinking about Rob Burrows having recently watched the documentary about him after his death. He was a short man but look what he achieved and he was certainly very attractive and a great family man too.

Would be a total nonissue for me - personality and kindness are what I look for.

but if he’s not for you - politely decline and move on.

each to their own

I'm glad I'm confident enough not to need " protecting". I'm 6 feet tall...dh is 5 feet 8.

I'm four inches taller than my dh. It's never really been an issue for either of us.

I tend to value other things rather than height.

I’m 5’9” and have had more than one short boyfriend. A friend (not much of a friend) of one suggested we looked ‘funny’ together. I found and still find it such a bizarre thing to say. If I don’t care why on earth would anyone else?

Obviously, I think you shouldn’t care either about a partner’s height. It seems such a waste of an otherwise promising relationship.

You can't help how you feel @Shinefast When I was younger and dating, I would never and could never have been attracted to a bald man/a man who is balding. Just wasn't attracted to men who were folically challenged.

And a huge dealbreaker for me is lots of moles, specifically on the neck and above. Facial moles (and neck moles) are really unappealing to me. Each to their own.

It makes me cringe so much when women say they like to be all likkle and tiny so their Big Man can protect them.

I am five 2 and small build. I don’t need anyone to protect me, and definitely not a man.

My ex is 6’3, I’m 5’7. It was actually awkward and it added nothing to the relationship. The next man I dated was about 2 inches taller and it was much better, I preferred it. But had also gotten over myself feeling I needed a “protector” and was happier to be more equal

So in this case I'd call him out on that in a jokey way - if he gets the message and retreats then you can continue as you were, see how it goes. If he gets arsey then you know where you are.

For some reason, being tall has really become established as a major source of social capital in the app dating world. It's hard not to internalise that narrative and it doesn't mean you're shallow beyond redemption. But dating apps are the absolute trenches and if you find someone who ticks your boxes in every other way, it'd be foolish to reject him on this basis as it could be ages before another one comes along! If it's the 'manliness' of a man that you're attracted to, I absolutely think short men can fulfil that. By chance I ended up with someone who is 6', but when I was dating I dated shorter men too and found some of them really attractive.

But he is taller than you are. Imagine if you were 6'2............ The chances of you finding someone even the same height would be much reduced, never mind someone significantly taller.
I am tall for a woman: When I was a child I imagined that Mr Right would be significantly taller than me - my husband is less than half an inch shorter.......we've been married over 30 years....... sometimes you just have to compromise.

I only ever went out with one guy shorter than me, he was a computer fixer so only ever communicated with him whilst we were both sat down and never noticed his height, he called me for a date and when I opened the door to him I was surprised he was so much shorter than me, turns out he had a chip on his shoulder about his height, muttering to himself about why he didn't get served at the bar at a timely manner and blamed his height and not standing out, anyway that alone turned me off big time, no idea if he'd been a wonderful date whether I would have got past the fact he was a couple of inches shorter than me.

Also my dad had a huge chip on his shoulder about being short, not an attractive trait, maybe that alone put me off subconsciously..

I just love being shorter than my husband, it just feels right.

I think it's a bit shallow. But if you're not attracted to him, you cant force it.

If you found out a man you got on well with had turned you down because you were too fat or something, would you be fine with that and understand?

I’m 5”3 and dating someone who is 5”9. Shortest guy I dated was 5”6 but he wasn’t very nice and after a couple dates, that was enough. It made his height even worse because I didn’t like him much AND he was short! Current guy would be the 2nd shortest. It took a minute to get used to the hugs 😂 because I’m so used to much taller men but he is absolutely worth the minute it took to get used to it. He’s amazing, and height really doesn’t matter if you’re happy. If you like the guy, give it a chance.

Ditto!

You can control being fat. You can’t control
your height. Those really aren’t comparable.

But also, people are allowed to be attracted to anyone they want, for any reason. And also to not be attracted to them. For any reason.