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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dating short men

317 replies

Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:37

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

OP posts:
Cazpar · 10/06/2024 10:38

we got on really well

What's more important OP? This or his height?

AllAboardTootToot · 10/06/2024 10:39

I used to be like that until I met my husband, same height. First few dates it bothered me, by the 4th it was a non issue. Push by the first few dates and see if there is something there, if it’s still bothering then you know to walk away.

HirplesWithHaggis · 10/06/2024 10:40

I (5') am only here because my 5'2" mum married my 5 '4" dad.

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:41

Imagine in 10 years time realising you turned down a second date with a guy you got on really well with because he was short.

I feel sorry for people who think height is even in the top 20 most important characteristics for a partner.

Original poster
Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:41

I’m trying so hard to push past this. I really am!

OP posts:
JaninaDuszejko · 10/06/2024 10:41

There is no virtue or achievement in being tall. If you like him that's all that matters and since you are short yourself he is still taller than you.

BobnLen · 10/06/2024 10:41

But you are short anyway so he is still taller than you

Original poster
Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:41

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:41

Imagine in 10 years time realising you turned down a second date with a guy you got on really well with because he was short.

I feel sorry for people who think height is even in the top 20 most important characteristics for a partner.

I get this. I really do. But you can’t help what attracts you to someone

OP posts:
BobnLen · 10/06/2024 10:43

I'm 5'10, DH is the same height, if he had been shorter I would not have cared

Cazpar · 10/06/2024 10:43

Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:41

I get this. I really do. But you can’t help what attracts you to someone

Show quote history

Then politely turn him down. If it's really a problem then you won't want another date.

Dramatic · 10/06/2024 10:44

You're short though?

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:44

Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:41

I get this. I really do. But you can’t help what attracts you to someone

Show quote history

Actually some things you can. Some things you can't.

I used to be more attracted to guys who weren't properly interested in me than to guys who were interested and didn’t leave me feeling confused. I trained myself out of that one and am much happier as a result.

As PP says, if you got on why not spend a bit more time with him and find out if you are attracted to him. If you're not, then fine. But I'd encourage you to think about what is important you and what's worth another date.

Original poster
Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:45

Dramatic · 10/06/2024 10:44

You're short though?

I am, yes. But I like to feel ‘small’ next to a man. Not in a kinky way, just as in a protector type of thing. It sounds ridiculous typing that. But I know what I mean

OP posts:
bluewaxcrayon · 10/06/2024 10:46

No, you can't help who you are attracted to.

You can never see him again.
You can meet him once more and see if you get more attracted to him.

Don't mess him around though, it's not fair on him. He deserves better than someone who is not that interested. Imagine the reverse, if a date made the same comments about you - or pushing past your height, your weight, your body shape.

Original poster
Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:47

bluewaxcrayon · 10/06/2024 10:46

No, you can't help who you are attracted to.

You can never see him again.
You can meet him once more and see if you get more attracted to him.

Don't mess him around though, it's not fair on him. He deserves better than someone who is not that interested. Imagine the reverse, if a date made the same comments about you - or pushing past your height, your weight, your body shape.

Absolutely. I’d be devastated. I would never tell him what the actual reason was. That would be cruel

OP posts:
Homesweethome23 · 10/06/2024 10:47

For me I wouldn’t date anyone who wasn’t at least 2 inches taller than me.

Imustgoforarun · 10/06/2024 10:48

Some blokes don’t date a woman with small breasts. We can be choosy. I get the impression that you are not that keen OP as he is taller than you! I thought you were going to say he is 4 inches shorter than you.

beckybarefoot · 10/06/2024 10:48

im not going to lie... i am 5ft 9in. i have never dated anyone shorter than i am.. my husband is 6ft 1 which is the shortest person i have ever been with.

some people's ick is something else.. mine is height

WhatASurprisee · 10/06/2024 10:48

It would put me off yes and as for the "but you're short too" people well so? Didn't realise you only had to date/ find people attractive that are the same as you 🙄

Original poster
Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:48

He seems really keen too. Messaging telling me how much he likes me and can’t wait to see me again. That’s putting me an off a bit too. I get easily scared off if they’re like that too early on

OP posts:
andallyourevergonnabeismean · 10/06/2024 10:48

I'm 5,5 and dh is 5,7. My ex was 6,2. I prefer dh being closer to my height now.

KimberleyClark · 10/06/2024 10:49

I’m the same height as you OP and this wouldn’t bother me. In fact I don’t much like being loomed over by really tall men.

SherrieElmer · 10/06/2024 10:49

There is nothing wrong in having a preference for a particular physique.
If you don't like him, you don't like him. There is no two ways around it.
Dump him and find a man that meets your needs.

HarridansOfUsAll · 10/06/2024 10:50

Are you really asking a bunch of internet strangers whether or not you should be attracted to someone you went on a date with?

It doesn't matter whether it would or wouldn't be an issue for every other woman in the world. You're the one deciding whether to see him again. It's your individual call.

Original poster
Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:51

HarridansOfUsAll · 10/06/2024 10:50

Are you really asking a bunch of internet strangers whether or not you should be attracted to someone you went on a date with?

It doesn't matter whether it would or wouldn't be an issue for every other woman in the world. You're the one deciding whether to see him again. It's your individual call.

I was just interested in other people’s experiences to gauge if I was BU to feel this way

OP posts: