Dating short men

[Shinefast]

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

We’re quite tall, I’m the shortest at 5’7” and DH is 6’2”. Our DD 5’10” is dating someone shorter than her, he’s lovely, she’s happy so it’s all good but if I see them walking along I think they look peculiar together. That’s my issue though, if she’s happy I’m happy.

Wouldn't be an issue for me at all. But in general I find short men more attractive than taller men (I'm short, fwiw). It feels to me that shorter men are forced to work on their personalities more than tall men who just kind of glide through life.

I find there’s an optimal range for height difference and I’m not attracted to men who fall outside this range. I’m 5’1 and I prefer men to be between 5’7 and 5’10. I recently went on a few dates with someone who couldn’t have been taller than 5’4 (though of course he added on four inches🤣). He kept holding my hand the wrong way around, like toddler, because his last girlfriend had been taller.

I must admit that I messed him around because he was a lovely person and I felt I should be with him. We’re animals….of course we prefer men who can protect us…don’t beat yourself up for your human instincts.

My previous partners were all tall (my Dad and younger brother put me off small blokes by being mysoginistic, size-provers). I eventually thought I'd come to the realisation that ALL blokes, no matter the height, were gits (when I was 27), and nothing was better than being single than being with the right one (so I was destined to remain single, and was fed up with the crappy dating scene, anyway). My friends, as a joke, put me on a dating site (this was early days old, 18 years ago). I got curious, looked, saw some 5ft bloke saying on his profile that it was a fact that he'd remain single because of his height...I thought: 'I'm not having that'. So messaged, telling him, he'd only be single forever if he was a horrible knobhead (which from my experience with blokes happens at any height), and besides, he had the loveliest eyes and he's not the only shortarse around here, try being 4ft9! (I wasn't actually chatting him up, I was not interested, it was not going anywhere, all my dates were doomed to failure, I just wanted to make him feel better...We got chatting. I phoned him (when drunk) to meet for a cup of coffee (regretted it instantly, as I was resolutely single, but decided I had to at least have a polite coffee as the poor bloke had driven 40 miles to meet me). Had such a great time, that much to my massive shock, I asked him out again...We have been together 18 years next month, 15 years married, he is the most amazing step-father to my eldest and we have a 14 year old. He is a million times more of a man than any of the offerings I previously threw back, funny, loyal, kind, sexy (even better in real life, yes, apart from those eyes, I checked out his very fit arse. I also realised it was refreshing not having it by my face at this height), fit, intelligent, great in bed (not all of him is 'travel-sized', lol), not a nasty bone in his body - and I can reach to kiss him and/or put my head on his shoulder, he has loved me, supported me and the children through some serious thick and thin - everybody loves him. I still clock-watch for when he comes in through the door. I shudder to think of all that happiness, love, laughter, companionship, my best friend and soul-mate I'd have lost out on if I had discounted him because of his height...

Once a friend said to me that despite me being small (5 2 and just over seven stone), there was nothing cute or sweet about me. I took that as a compliment.

Taller men are generally considered more attractive (I think height is linked to testosterone? It's something biological like that), just like slim hourglass women are considered the most attractive body type.

Being a short woman doesn't mean you don't find tall men more attractive.

(Speaking as a 5ft 2" women who has basically only dated men 6ft+ because they're most attractive to me...)

OP - it depends whether you are still attracted to him. My 5ft 7" friend just married a man of 5ft 4" who is shorter than her... It wasn't the ideal height for her but she was still attracted to him.

I'm sure I could be attracted to the right short man, depends how you feel about him

See, I feel it could progress to love bomb territory. He owns his own house, I don’t, so I don’t think he’ll be trying to move in

@ChappellApple thats such a great story. Sounds like you have struck gold.

I know it sounds probably twee, but I feel proud/lucky every day to be his wife. I have done the 'abused partner' thing from toxic exes (accepting this treatment because of low self confidence from being in traumatic foster care homes, etc, but he saw in me what I couldnt and I do now). So I very much appreciate what we have, and never take it for granted x

What???

I'm 5'2 and DH is 5'4 and I always feel protected by him.

You're actually just shallow and I hope your date realises this before you get to a second one.

A lot of very short women do like to feel babied for some reason, I suppose it’s playing on being small and making it out to be cute and vulnerable?

What if he was 6ft, would you be attracted to him? Or is it that you just aren't attracted to him anyway.

I’m 5’10. DH was a wee bit shorter when we met. He’s 12 yrs older than me and has shrunk a bit more. Yes, I do feel self conscious at times. I no longer wear heels. But nearly thirty years in (I’m 51) I couldn’t imagine life without him. Sexy as! And to be honest, you don’t see height when you’re lying down! 😉

DP is about an inch taller than me (if that). It doesn't bother me, him or anyone else. He's nice, funny, kind, clever, attractive has a big willy and lots of other things that make him who he is and love him.

Looks are fleeting, personality isn't!

I've only ever had the 1 man(romantically and physically)so ni experience in dating or even todays dating

but shorter men are actually my preference
I'm 6ft so there's a a lot out there shorter than me

i have never fancied a man taller than me

I've been in to pretty boyband types since i was a teenager in the 90s and nothing changed

i met my ex in 99 at 18 and were together until i was 40 in 2020 so i settled down young

if they are pretty, can sing and shorter than me im putty

I've always been like this but recently found out there's a term for it (term is baby girl or soft boy)

i also have a form of pogonophobia(fear of beards)im not scared it just repulses me so much
but there are women out there that finds this so sexy

im also my user name so dont need or want a tall strong man to protect me
i can do that myself

if you liked him, he was nice then give him a chance

Taller men are generally considered more attractive (I think height is linked to testosterone? It's something biological like that)

@MsCactus Really? I thought that male pattern baldness was also linked to high testosterone, but women don't usually go weak at the knees for that! 😆

I think that there's an optimal height range. Too tall is just as unattractive as too short.

It would be an issue for me because I’m 5’9” and I just don’t find men shorter than me attractive.

I don’t mind dating men the same height as me or an inch or 2 shorter. I just don’t want to be towering over a man. And that’s okay.

The same as im sure many shorter guys wouldn’t find me attractive if im towering over them.

I'm writing this as someone with a shorter husband than myself. You are writing this with your head not your heart, you don't feel the spark for him, don't overthink it.

I always preferred tall guys but when I met my husband all the butterflies were there. I felt a little weird being taller when we embraced standing up for a week or so but then I stopped noticing it as we had our own way we fit together and it was just different. We are very happy together.

It's easy with an online date to try and talk yourself into it- they seem lovely/ they have a great job/ they are looking for proper commitment etc.- I SHOULD like him and I was guilty of this myself, but that just isn't what a proper relationship is built on.

It's really not just his height that hasn't gotten you going and that's ok. If you meet your dream partner and he's a few inches shorter than you were expecting I promise you at that moment you will not care about it.

I'm 5'2, DH is 5'6. He's the perfect height for me. I dated someone who was 6'3 when I was a teenager and nearly put my back out trying to snog him!

I'm 5'9 and my DH is 5'6.

He is the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. His height, or mine, never has or never will matter x

Men don’t post their height as then some really great guys get weeded out just because they aren’t a few inches taller. Just like if woman were to post their weight then they would get weeded out also. Yes we can all have our preferences, though the best advice my mum ever gave me was to give the shorter men a chance. I’m glad I did as I met my partner and couldn’t be happier. I’m 5”7 and he’s 5”5.

Yeah you're shallow af

I don’t think you like him that much if this is putting you off. If you really liked him, like REALLY, then it wouldn’t matter. Imagine he grew a few inches overnight- so now he’s suddenly the man of your dreams? Nope, if this is a deal breaker then it tells you he’s not the right one for you.

He might feel as insecure if she was taller than him. He's short but probably likes that she's shorter than him.
Everyone is shallow on first impression, but then you get to know someone and you love them for them

This thread confuses me - he’s got a nice personality and he had a nice appearance? Surely you knew when you saw him if you thought he was attractive? I don’t see how querying his height after the event would change that?