Dating short men

[Shinefast]

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

You can control being fat. You can’t control your height. Those really aren’t comparable.

No, there are many people with conditions or on certain medications which means they cant control their weight.

I am obviously extremely bias but my 15 year old son is the kindest, most thoughtful and empathetic person I know. He is going to be short as me and his dad are both short so I know lots of women will rule him out as a partner in the future but he treats people so well I honestly think women will be missing out. He helps 2 girls at school with their anxiety. He has punched someone once and that is when someone tried to attack his friend and had called his friend a racist name. He stood up for him.

He is handsome and dresses well, intelligent and he wants to be a dr so he would basically be doing a job that emphasises how caring he is. I still worry he won't get much female attention.
So... give the short man a chance if you fancy him. If you can't get past it and don't fancy him then don't go on another date as it's a waste of his time.

I'm 5'4 DH is 5'6. Non issue for me. But if you're not attracted to him, you're not attracted to him - it's not really something you can force.

My boyfriend is 5’6, his height doesn’t bother me, more interested in his personality and kindness I am attracted to him he’s handsome and lovely and a genuinely nice person. So many women before me had a problem with his height, their loss makes no difference to anything & when lying or sitting down you don’t even notice it. Tall can be attractive but short is too people can’t help what height they grow to.

Don't waste this guy's time trying to convince yourself you think he's attractive in spite of something that he can't change. That's not fair and will make it a worse disappointment for him if he's invested more time and feelings on you by the time you accept you don't like the way he looks.

I agree, give a couple more dates and see if it becomes a none issue.

As a side point women tend to be attracted to men taller than other men not taller then them.
But height is not that important to longer term happiness for most of us.

On the one hand, if you get along really well you shouldn't dismiss him over height. On the other hand, you owe him absolutely nothing. If your gut is telling you're not keen, then break it off. You don't need a reason!

My DH is 5'6", I'm 5'7". I always used to date much taller men. I met him on Tinder and it was supposed to be a one night stand....we got along so well, it changed my tune and I fell head over heels....so it can happen!

Him being overly keen is odd, I wouldn't want to be suffocated so early on. You know yourself, listen to your instincts.

If you're not really attracted to him for any reason, just end it and move on. There's no point trying to push for him to be something he's not.

For me it's not about height but confidence. How they carry themselves. Also about body type.
I hate feeling like a big lump next to a man 🤣 I'm 5'6 and I dated a guy once who was 5'4. He was absolutely lovely but very slight aswell and I don't think it helped that he stooped a bit.
I had to be honest with myself that it was a deal-breaker.
In contrast, my uni boyfriend was 5'6, gorgeous, had a nice body and was good in bed! I remember thinking about his height when we started dating. I'm so glad I kept going out with him!
So weigh things up but keep an open mind. It's a shame to reject a man because of his height if everything else is good.

I am 5'8 and hit my adult height at 12. My height was constantly commented upom, I was the tallest amongst friends and class mates and I always felt like some deformed, oversized oaf. Of course within a few years some people had overtaken my height. However the feeling of being inadequately tall has never left me. I feel particularly huge next to men who are shorter than me so I could never consider them as a romantic or sexual partner. This is 100% my issue, I have tried but I honestly can't get over it.

My husband is only a few inches taller than me and I find it preferable to dating taller men. So much more comfortable to kiss etc!
But also, I'm not shallow so it wouldn't really have bothered me anyway, and I have dated a mix of tall and short men over the years.
I also like guys that aren't flaky or worried about committing to a relationship if they like me.
But if you're going to be plagued by doubts over this guys height then let him go. Tbh the 'coming on too strong' thing sounds like an excuse to ditch him because you're already turned off by his height. Would you be getting the ick if someone 6ft was really into you?

My mum is 5'7" and my dad is 5'4". They have been happily married for 55 years now

I get the impression you're just not that into him in general. I think if you were his height wouldn't matter as much. I had a pal who insisted she'd only date men over 6'. She's now married to a guy who is 5'8" because they just clicked perfectly and suddenly him being shorter didn't matter at all.

It's ok to not be physically attracted to someone. Is it a bit shallow? Yes. Is it ok to be a bit shallow when you're picking the person you're going to be shagging for the rest of your life? Also yes!

Height might be quite important in terms of instantaneous physical attraction.

But it isn't a great predictor of whether someone is going to be a good life partner. It doesn't say anything about whether someone is loyal, kind, forgiving, hardworking, entertaining to be with, will be a good parent, responsible, has good ethics etc.

So if you filter people based on height (which is your privilege) don't be surprised if they turn out to be lacking in some other aspect of their personality/relationship behaviour.

I mean it doesn’t matter is the truth unless it matters to you an if it really does then don’t fuck him about.

forgetting that for a minute though you are mentioning other things that are putting you off so do you actually like him and want to give another date a chance or is it actually that this amongst other things have put him in the not for me category but you are trying to push past it as you feel guilty that this is one of the things in the list so your ignoring other stuff?

Some of the comments on this thread

You are not being unreasonable, and you know best what is right for you. For me, a shorter man would have to offer a lot in order for me to look past the height (I am also short but this does not matter). My husband is 6'2, and surprisingly also considerate, kind, funny and intelligent. It's not either or.

I wouldn't be interested in a short man at all. I'm 5'10 myself so...

I'm not attracted to very tall men either. Between 5'9 and 6'1 is perfect for me, I don't mind him being a little bit shorter as long as he can cope with me wearing heels.

I don't want to feel 'protected' by a big man, I want to feel equal. DH is 5'11, so just right for me.

im 5 7. My husband was 5 4.

Bothered us not one bit. And he was gorgeous.

My husband is 2 inches taller than me and I am the same height as you 5ft 2. It has no bearing on our life at all except we don't have to adjust the drivers seat every time which is a bonus.

These threads go both ways on Mumsnet - like many others it depends on the first few comments and in this case, fortunately, they were fairly kind. If you posted this in another day you’d have loads of replies telling you how disgusted they are by short men and how you shouldn’t even entertain the idea of being seen with him in public.

Height is always a weird one as I think it often says more about the women who are so hung up on it than it does about anyone else. There can be some real nastiness from some women towards short men.

I think of all the men I’ve dated and there’s always been something that I wouldn’t usually go for, or something that I find a little weird/cringeworthy at first. Usually you just need to reset your expectations and you’re able to see past it.

But if you’re not attracted, you’re not attracted and you have to be honest with yourself.

It is interesting though how other physical attributed don’t elicit the same sort of soul searching. Eg someone who like blue eyes, stocky build, good hair etc doesn’t post to Mumsnet if they go on a good date with someone who doesn’t fit that description. And most people wouldn’t dare say out loud anything about a lazy eye, cleft lip or big ears - but height is seen as acceptable and undertsandable to question.

You can’t help who and why your attracted to someone
I like tall men
my husband is 6ft 4 and I’m 5ft 6
I wouldn’t date someone who was only a few inches taller than me

The nerve of him being a few inches taller than you and enthusiastic and complimentary about seeing you again - throw him back OP and be sure to worship your next partner every day for the extra inches of height he provides so you can be protected from the plagues descending from above.

No. Most of my partners have been on the (very) short side.

A decent man is so hard to find these days, I wouldn't even think about binning one off due to his height!

Look, OP, everyone wants a tall guy. There obviously aren't enough to go around. I would genuinely try to get past this. I also think you may be more easily being 'put off' by his keenness because he isn't tall too. God forbid someone be honest with you and express his happiness at having met you. Give yourself a talking to.

@HerORMe

??? I don't get this. So you are 5 ft 7, and a man of 6 ft 3 was too short and so the relationship was not good. But a man 6 ft 5 - Just TWO inches taller than the previous man, made things much better???

But the first man was 8 inches taller than you. Does a man have to be 10 inches or more taller before you will date them?