Scary how men just move on so quickly

[Gobsmackedtobehonest]

My Dsis friend has been married for 10 years, together for 14 with him and they have a 6 year old son. Things tricky for a while with the wife feeling things weren’t going great, her Dh not as supportive and staying out later (but always stayed out due to job and very sociable person)
It’s come to light recently that he told her he’s met someone else, madly in love with her, brings out the best in him and so on. He’s moved out, moving in with her, set up a bedroom for the child to stay in when he visits. Basically left them with no money or cares about how they will cope with rent and so on, left dog, doesn’t seem bothered. Whole world they had together just..gone..just like that
This was a young, gorgeous couple, a really good team and madly in love with each other

It’s scary

Who would vote that I’m being unreasonable? 🤷🏻‍♀️

How awful 😞

Sadly men and women are like that these days. Marriages are not they were years ago

It happens. More often than you’d like to think.

This is not a new phenomenon 🙄

I just don’t know, how you’d just fall straight out of love with someone and leave your whole life, especially when kids are involved

I agree - although it's not just limited to men really. I have a male pal though that's been seeing someone for a year, engaged etc.. he's spent the last two weeks crying because he feels she's not as loving as normal, but he's head over heels in love and will never love again if it doesn't work out.... Last night he messaged saying he's not too fussed as he's met someone else, so he's dumping her. Very bizarre.

It’s awful and yeah see it often on here. It hasn’t happened much in my social circle but I had this former colleague who when she joined my work she was saying how wonderful her husband was. And how “lucky” she was.

A few months later she was talking about how he wanted another child with her. Then the following summer, less than one year after I’d met her - she basically discovered he was having an affair with a single mother and he moved right into their house and played happy families with his girlfriends child while neglecting his own then shortly after had his own kid with said woman.

I know it’s a slightly different issue but I can also be a bit surprised at how quick some widowers with kids move on. I was talking to a guy on a dating app once and I asked when had his wife died as his profile said widower. He said “oh it was ages ago - last year. I’m over it now” 😑

My ex was living with a new women 5 weeks after we split and we had a newborn 🤷‍♀️

Where you're going wrong is assuming he was still in love with her. He'd probably checked out a long while ago, or maybe he'd always settled and never really loved her.

Men don't suddenly go from in love to not in love any more than women do. It's more likely something that's been brewing for a while.

There was a thread on here last week or so where men basically agreed they don't feel as deeply in relationships as women. They couldn't imagine thinking about the other person all day and various other things women do par for the course.

I can well believe it. At the start they seem starry eyed and besotted but we've all seen that fade over the months and the apathy set in. I've maybe been unlucky in love but generally men look at most women with some interest, no matter how taken they are.

Your/her perception was off kilter. They clearly weren’t a really good team and madly in love with each other. If you love someone and they’re your team mate, you don’t have an affair and then leave them high and dry.

The reason he’s moved on so quickly is he’d already made the decision and processed it before he told her which really underlines that he wasn’t part of their team.

I hope she finds someone miles better than him, he’s clearly a rotter.

My ex was married within 5 months of leaving me with dd!

Agreed but much, much more about it or it could be people are just more open and hones

Re women being cheats, IMO a lot more do it these days than lets say 35 years ago - possibly all down to the internet, mobile phones, better transport links

Wheres the data for that?

When I got myself together enough to split with my (emotionally manipulative, gaslighting) ex he told me I’d broken his heart and he’d never love or trust another woman ever again. He was engaged inside 6 months and married within the year.

i didn’t even date for 3 years after that relationship because he messed my head up so badly.

Agreed with this, especially as OP started the thread with things were tricky for a while and overall not very good, then ended it with they’re a great team and madly in love.

He clearly didn’t wake up one day and completely change his mind, it was clearly on the rocks or over a long time before.

Agreed. I am 3 years post my last relationship and can't even imagine having another one. I went 10 years single before that! I love hard.

Women cheating is less obvious though, as they don’t move out the family home.

brother’s ex played the long game. Went through counselling, would have long heart to hearts with his family about how awful he was- he did 70% of the childcare, she wanted more money so he took in a shit load of overtime, then she was telling everyone he was “never there”. Meanwhile carrying on with her OM and secretly moving all their joint accounts.

she asked him to go to our parents so she could “have a break”, and moved OM in that night. No one officially found out for months as she simply stopped inviting people round.

men I think are probably similar. Checked out months ago but it all seems quick when he leaves to go straight to OW’s.

This was a young, gorgeous couple, a really good team and madly in love with each other

It’s also possible they were never in love. Or at least he wasn’t with her. Men can do performance love as well. It’s easy for outsiders to conclude they loved each other but hard to say without knowing someone well and speaking to them.

There’s reason men outnumber women on dating apps. One reason is a LOT of married /engaged /in relationships men are on there looking for something better.

My former coworker had no idea her husband was having affairs with multiple women at his work throughout their marriage.

When he decided to leave his behaviour changed abruptly. I believe he always disliked her and was only with her because quite frankly - he thought he may as well benefit from British citizenship so when she was pushing for marriage, he kind of shrugged his shoulders and said why not.

Sorry but in what universe outside of teen romance novels are women sitting around thinking about their significant other all day? Since when has that been par for the course? I mean I love my husband but I've got other shit to do. If that's the benchmark for "feeling deeply" in a relationship then I guess I'm fucked 😂

Around one quarter of voters. You can't come on here and expect everybody to agree with you.

They seemed to be great together, he really looked like he was in love with her, I could sense the chemistry if that makes sense and they just seemed great, it’s just so sad. She’s stunned and says he’s like a completely different person, someone she doesn’t even recognise

@DragonGypsyDoris Yes, I was just wondering what was unreasonable about it…reading the replies, thanks.

The "data" is "IMO"
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