To sleep with a 23 year old?

[Possomoppossum]

Given that I am 42,he knows full well how old I am,we met on a dating site where he wanted to meet older women.ok or creepy age gap?

19 not 29. Mistype.

Go for it and have some fun! When I was 24 I had a fling with a man more than twice my age, I don’t regret it at all, he was handsome, wealthy, charming and amazing in bed.

Well that is the epitome of creepy.

What? No it isn’t

It’s a bit grim if you’re old enough to be their mum but if it’s just a shagging arrangement should be harmless I guess. I mean he’s not a teenager, though he was 4 years ago

I'd be keen to know what the posters who think a young man who finds older women sexy and desirable must be 'creepy' and 'perverted' believe the cut off age for women to be attractive is?

I'm 51 and whilst I'm no supermodel I'm not bad; I can think of plenty of women 40 and 50+ who are incredibly sexy - one of my friends always had a thing for Kristin Scott Thomas years ago when she was at least twice his age, and IMO it's not difficult see why even now she must be 60+?

When do we become so hideous that we should be automatically disregarded by anyone more than 5-10 years younger than our own age?

This is how I feel too.

My brother is 10 years older than me and that always seemed far too old!

The guy literally said he wants to sleep with ‘an older woman’. It’s a fetish / bucket list shag

Exactly! The older woman concerned also wants to sleep with him, so where is the problem? Nobody is being coerced, exploited or lied to, are they?

Two consenting adults having sex. That’s all it is. Go for it, fill your boots and ignore all the pearl -clutching.

Don’t latch onto me

Ahhh just shag him. Have a great time

Creepy. And be aware that he’s just using you. Not nice to imagine him laughing about you with his mates.

Er, you quoted my post?

I've no intention of 'latching onto' you - why would I? I don't know where you've been.

If it is legal then it is ok. Go for it.

You’re missing the point of why it’s creepy. It’s nothing to do with how ‘good’ a woman looks in middle age and all to do with the reason why a young 20 something wants to specifically have a liaison with an older woman. It’s either that he is objectifying her as a ‘learning curve’ shag with someone he deems an easier pick up than a woman his own age, or he’s MILF porn saturated, or both. Yes an older woman may be objectively attractive, but actively only perusing older women for a hook up? Definitely creep.

You sound envious of the OP.

Oh you caught me. I also wish I was shagging the neighbour whilst also trawling dating apps for 20 something sex obsessed men. It sounds so… exotic.

The apps are full of young blokes trawling older women’s profiles wanting to tick the MILF box and laughing about it to their mates down the pub.

Spot on. I know a lot of early 20s lads and he's looking for something to tick off his list and have a laugh about with his friends while he regales them with all the details. He'll have already shown them your picture and they'll have been laughing at him/teasing him/egging him on.

If you're ok knowing that you're just a meaningless shag and a bit of a laugh for him, crack on. It sounds like it's meaningless for you too. But I wouldn't want to be laughed at.

Or he just likes having sex with older women, @LostTheMarble ?

Nahhh go for it

Creepy. It just feels like an abuse of power when the age and stage difference is that huge. If he does have an older woman fetish, I’d assume that’s because of some kind of vulnerability within him. You shouldn’t be taking advantage of that.

‘Sleep with’ isn’t twee at all you complete weirdo 😂

Why specifically older women? For it to be noticeable older, a generational (at least one) gap and for that to be a fetish for a man, of course it’s a red flag. It’s always concerning when a man has a specific sexual want outside of the typical. Usually it’s because he’s the type that sees women as walking sex toys rather than actual people.

I’ve done the apps and at 55 I’ve been inundated with horny 20 somethings messaging asking if I’m interested in younger men - usually telling me such charming chat up lines as the size of their dick. I roll my eyes and delete - not interested in being a box tick and a bar anecdote about who shagged the oldest MILF.