To sleep with a 23 year old?

[Possomoppossum]

Given that I am 42,he knows full well how old I am,we met on a dating site where he wanted to meet older women.ok or creepy age gap?

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos oh come on. So pp (16 year old) is old enough to know what she's doing because of the age of consent

But she deserves a pasting because 23 year olds can't properly consent?

Come on guys. And we don't know the circumstances of pp's pregnancy at 16. Wrong to bring that up as a point in a debate.

Some people would consider you having a 26 year old son when you’re 42 yuk.

This. 👏

I was that young adult in my 20s with an older women. It was some of my best years.

This.

Some people would consider you having a 26 year old son when you’re 42 yuk.

There are other people who've called it yuck. Some of you need to rein it in with the rude comments towards someone who had a child at 16 ffs. Don't be nasty.

If she can pass judgement on others, you need to be able to receive it too.

Depends how much you are paying him 🤣

I wouldn’t do it. But I can’t tell you what to do. You should really trust yourself and follow your instincts.

And your own parents were thrilled when you told them you were pregnant with your first at what 16? Most of us don't aspire to have two children by age 20. The stigma of teen pregnancies has mostly gone and there is no judgement on mumsnet for it (which is a good thing) but yet SO much judgement for age gaps. At least he's not 23 trying to support two kids already with a similar age girlfriend, is that what you'd prefer for your children?

Is he 24 yet 😀?

No. She deserves a pasting because she's calling someone else's decisions "yuk". Like I said, everyone makes a lot of decisions across their lives and not all of them are going to be good. Because we're human. So no judgement of other people unless you want judgement of yours.

Editing to add that I also believe a 23 year old can make their own decisions. I was living with my now DH by 23, and made the decisions that got me there (including sleeping with an older man) entirely by myself.

It's a bit grim to judge someone who made bad decisions at 16 when they're young and immature to grown adults though imo.

IMO it's just grim to judge anyone's actions, providing what they're doing isn't actually hurting anyone.

I don't aspire to a life like the PP who called OP yuk. I also don't want to sleep with someone 19 years younger than me. But these are choices other people have made and don't affect my life. So calling it "yuk" is immature and judgemental and not on.

I agree that calling it "yuk" is immature but so is thinking that a 16 year old child and a 42 year old have the same level of decision making capacities and using that as a counter attack to the poster.

But the 16 year old child is now an adult and using the fact that the child she had at 16 is now also an adult as an argument herself.

I'm not coming on here and saying "at 16 I did X so therefore you're making a disgusting decision to Y now". And if I did, people would respond to me.

They are using it to judge other people, and therefore they need to be prepared for people to also have an option on that. Or, not use it to judge other people.

It's not what she did that I am questioning. It's the fact she's using it as a stick to beat someone else and yet you feel she's the victim?

At least he's not 23 trying to support two kids already with a similar age girlfriend, is that what you'd prefer for your children?i

I'd much rather my child was in a committed, loving relationship with a young family in their twenties than having casual sex with men or women my age.

People will judge you no matter what, this idea of never judging anyone is silly, it's not how the world works. I was also a teen mum, I'm not particularly bothered if people judge that. I just don't get why people get so annoyed at someone not agreeing with their choices.

I don't agree with most choices people make, but it's more of a "I wouldn't do that" kind of thing. I very much think that you should do you, as long as you aren't hurting anyone.

But something that does hurt people is others calling them names, or telling them that their choices are wrong or disgusting, simply because they wouldn't have made it.

If you want to have a family young, fine, go for it. There is options available if it's unplanned and not what you want.

If you want to remain child free your entire life, fine, go for it.

If you want to sleep with another adult who also wants to sleep with you, you're both free to do so and consent to whatever, fine, go for it.

If you want to have a relationship with someone decades older than you and you're both entering into it with consent, fine, go for it.

You want to have a career, fine, go for it. SAHM, fine, go for it. Both? Fine, go for it.

Want to use your choices to beat someone else down? Not fine, back off.

But she didn't state the fact that she was 16 as a point in the debate, she just mentioned her and her son's age. Someone then took it upon themselves to calculate the age and beat Pp with it.

The reason you don't judge teen mums is because you have no idea how she pregnant. Was she exploited by an older man? Or a boy her age? Did she have access to abortion or did her family stop it? Did she have mental health problems?

Someone saying yuck isn't that deep. I'm don't agree but it's not ok to attack teenage mum who were vulnerable teenagers

Also not forgetting that birthing at 16 does not mean conception at 16. It's not ok to get personal.

Why creepy?? Because I found someone who loves me and I love back unconditionally???

But she didn't state the fact that she was 16 as a point in the debate, she just mentioned her and her son's age. Someone then took it upon themselves to calculate the age and beat Pp with it.

It hardly took a genius to spot what age she'd have been. And she used the fact of her own and her son's ages to judge the OP.

But the point raised there is that she is in no position to judge another's choices given her own past. She let herself be judged by willingly giving up that information. I guess my point here is, " people who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones!!"

I doubt it as she willingly gave up that nugget of information. Why would you instantly assume the worst of men?

The issue is that she's being judgmental about the OP saying what she's doing is "yuk." But if you make that kind of statement, you have to expect a similar reaction back. It's as simple as that.