To sleep with a 23 year old?

[Possomoppossum]

Given that I am 42,he knows full well how old I am,we met on a dating site where he wanted to meet older women.ok or creepy age gap?

But that's not your decision to make.

But the point raised there is that she is in no position to judge another's choices given her own past. She let herself be judged by willingly giving up that information. I guess my point here is, " people who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones!!"

Yes again, you do not know her situation. Maybe she was exploited and that has shaped her opinion. 15/16 is a child, it's just nasty to use that get personal, sorry. You don't need to double down to be right.

The poster was asking what people would prefer, I answered. I was not saying it was the parents decision. We are allowed to have hopes for own children that they will make good decisions. The poster was suggesting that there was something wrong with being a parent in your early twenties.

And your own parents were thrilled when you told them you were pregnant with your first at what 16? Most of us don't aspire to have two children by age 20. The stigma of teen pregnancies has mostly gone and there is no judgement on mumsnet for it (which is a good thing) but yet SO much judgement for age gaps. At least he's not 23 trying to support two kids already with a similar age girlfriend, is that what you'd prefer for your children?

@Firefly1987
State of this. So unnecessary and unpleasant, and to others as well. Way too personal to take grievance of someone's appearance of casual sex and make judgements about their entire life.

The anger directed towards children and young people is appalling. Just for saying 'yuk', as dozens of others have? Just roll your eyes and move on.

MN being a truly awful place

no comparison between someone being a teenage mother and a 43 year making a choice

very courageous to keep a baby at 16 though, not an easy thing to do

Well it's hardly an ideal situation is it? She brought up her age in the first place?! Obviously a big age gap is weird to her since she's barely even a generation older than her own kids. Most people don't have kids in their teens though which she doesn't seem to realise. No one is angry, except at her being so judgemental because she's soo close in age to her own kids so no one should have an age-gap relationship, obviously 🙄

Will you just drop it? You, and whoever else, have gone way above and beyond what she's said.

I don't personally agree that it's 'yuk', but this is just way too much. It's beyond debating a MN thread to start insulting a woman who was pregnant at 15/16 (for whatever reason, in probably less than ideal circumstances).

Maybe she read that comment and it affected her? It's enough.

I actually think yuk too if I am being honest bbut that is because I know a lot of people that age and I think of them as children in comparison to me. I am sure that many men in their 40s would provide the fun op is seeking. Loads of them.

op can’t be that comfortable with the prospect if she has to seek advice from
this nest of vipers.

Not if they're both broke and unable to support their kids as a lot of 23 year olds would be these days.

And we don't know OP isn't going to have a committed loving relationship with this guy. Both my brothers had relationships with much older women in their 20s and 30s-probably the longest and best relationships they ever had.

Funny how you think a 23 year old is mature enough to support a family (I can't think of anything that requires more maturity and responsibility than that) but too immature to have an age gap relationship. I guess you're fine with them spending their best years buried in nappies and worried sick about keeping a roof over all their heads rather than having actual fun in their 20s.

Absolutely!! Agreed.

Firefly, I'm starting to think you just have a personal thing against teens/youngsters with children....😂

A vaguely supportive comment that doesn't actually put down anyone else is met with paragraphs about how awful parenting is. Didn't you realise that before having your own?

Nuts

I'm not getting that from their posts. I'm getting that they believe you need to be more mature to have parental responsibility and run a household than to decide if you want a quick shag. Which is true. But the PP they're responding to would rather their kids, in this economy which for younger people just starting out is brutal, were parents at 23, with all the responsibility and financial rubbish that entails, than having a bit of fun or the odd inappropriate hook up.

I know which I'd have chosen at 23. It wouldn't have been two kids and a mortgage.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos Exactly-thank you!

@ThreeAmingos Don't be silly I don't have anything against young parents. If they can make it work then wonderful-but lets not pretend they wont have to give up a lot and it wont be hard for the vast majority-a lot harder than waiting a few years and having kids when in a much more secure position. This is just common sense and wanting them to have a few more years being carefree before huge responsibilities-I make no judgement on someone who decides to do that though, it's their choice if that's what they want. I'm hardly going to encourage or congratulate literal teen pregnancy though.

It's a bit ironic to be so upset about this after all the judgements there has been on age gaps.

Super creepy! Big NO. Why not men your age ?

Will you just drop it? You, and whoever else, have gone way above and beyond what she's said.

That's how the internet operates. You can express opinions, make judgments, and essentially say whatever you want. The truth can be harsh.

No, it's just shitty. It's not 'the truth' to be a dick.

It's also hugely disproportionate to go on a tirade targeting one poster for having a child, as a child. And not just slagging off young parents altogether.

It strongly signals personal issues and insecurity to me. And I'm also entitled to my opinion which is put a sock in it - you're grown women bullying another woman for being a teen parent.

She may have been raped, corrected, denied access to abortion, exploited by an older relative, not had sex education, or simply have made a rash decision.

Horrendous attitude.

Go for it! You're both adults and life is short.

I basically agree with this, as long as all the usual criteria of feeling safe, mutual respect, and having a connection apply for both of you. ANY doubts, don't do it.

You won't need lube.

Hot unreasonable in any way . Only on this site as commented on a dog rescue but here i go . Ive always preferred to date an older woman . They usually know how to dress,, they know which knife and fork to use, they have a far greater sphere of interest and do not think the interest rate is the number of men looking at them. .What is wrong with that? Oh and its usually the other women who look and not men .

If a woman doesn't understand about knives and forks, I agree she is definitely too young 😂. Most have mastered this by the age of three!