Awkward invite to OW/affair wedding

[Whoswhoof]

very very loose acquaintance in a professional sense (I’m not a friend, and didn’t think she thought of me as such) invited me to her wedding last week. The wedding is later this year, she’s not been engaged very long. I only see her at work every few weeks.

I was quite taken back (I don’t even know her DPs name or how long they’ve been together, barely even know her if I’m honest) I threw both questions into the conversation they’ve been “together” 3 years due to him having an affair with her, and only OPENLY together less than a year. I was spared no detail in how the breakup went and how they’ve ended up together. Her DP sounds like an arse if I’m honest. Not that the affair is any of my business but it all just seems a bit icky.

tons of red flags but basically she now wants me at her wedding and wants to build a friendship. She says she doesn’t have many friends.

we are colleagues so it’s important I don’t damage the professional relationship.

more of a wwyd.

Shocking that this scummy person has no friends!

If you're worried about offending her just make a polite excuse.

I know we’re all meant to blame the person actually the affair on here, but I’d want nothing to do with her. I wouldn’t cause any drama over it, just make an excuse as to why you can’t go and try and make it clear from now on that you want a professional and not ‘friendly’ relationship with her

I wouldnt bother.

Weddings of people you hardly know are so dull and kind of awkward

I wouldn’t get too bothered about their backstory - not really my business.

I wouldn’t be available for the wedding though, because I’m not that keen on them even when I know the couple really well. I’d have a prior engagement and send them a card.

She’s probably a bit embarrassed at having no friends at her own wedding, which is why she’s scrabbling round trying to invite work acquaintances

She’s made it clear she wants to regularly start going out drinking and for dinners etc with me. I was honestly so surprised I’ve probably worked with her 4 times max.

maybe she’s vulnerable? I can make excuses for the wedding but it’s very awkward to repeatedly decline social invites

I’d just keep turning her down, and be a bit short with her without being openly rude. She’ll have to get the hint at some point. If she won’t leave you alone and tries to force an explanation out of you I’d start with ‘I’m really sorry, I’ve got a lot on that I’m struggling to keep up with as it is, I’m not really looking to expand my social circle’. If she doesn’t drop it after that then I would quite plainly tell her exactly why you don’t want ti associate with her

It's perfectly fine to tell a colleague that you only want to keep your relationship professional.

There'll be a reason she doesn't have any friends and is inviting a vague work contact to her wedding. I'd steer clear. She has a plan to slot you seamlessly into 'friends' box. It's very odd at the least.

Aw I kind of feel sorry for her. She probably has no friends, maybe never had a serious relationship and this awful man has swept her off her feet. I imagine she'll regret a lot of her choices one day. I'd probably just befriend her because i felt sorry for her.

Wow 😂😂😂😂😂

I’d definitely decline the wedding before she starts lining you up as bridesmaid.

I would just decline the invite and then tell her that I prefer to keep work and home life separate and don't socialise with colleagues. For me this is true. You obviously can't say that if you do have loads of work friends.

My next door neighbour once invited me to his wedding out of the blue when we had hardly ever spoken and I had no idea he was in a relationship let alone know the ladies name. I just declined. Said I was busy. It transpired she was a 'mail order bride' from the Philippines and I have since called the police to them on more than one occasion as I can hear him being verbally abusive to her through the walls so I am glad that I did not go to the wedding and somehow be a party to that. For me inviting randomers to your wedding seems a red flag.

She should be embarrassed.

How very strange.
I’d be very bemused to be invited to someone’s wedding in these circumstances. Added to that the demand to start socialising with you.
I would give her a wide birth.
I would not go to the wedding, make up an excuse. It could be anything. Your dh’s relative is visiting from Australia and the date clashes with a big surprise party being thrown for them.
If she mentions socialising I would say how you’d love to but you have too much on at the minute.

Christ! That’s a turn of events!

well possibly a drip feed but she came to the business after working as an escort for 12 years. She’s very open about this. Not sure if she met the DP escorting but the dots would certainly connect. She’s only young and has 2 boys. not sure where they fit in to all of this.

wish I wasn’t a work socialiser but I’m very friendly with a lot of my colleagues that I work closely with and she probably knows this

Haven’t RTFT but I would politely decline and send a small gift

She has no friends as people don’t like assholes, she is trying to get acquaintances to fill the roles and pad out the wedding- pathetic

I'd save my pity for the family she helped destroy tbh.

She'll have you organising the hen if you're not careful

Unfortunately you are busy that day but you hope she has a great day. Keep it vague, friendly but professional. If she invited you for social occasions and you don’t want to go, give a similar answer. No need to jugde her personal life, she is a work colleague, nothing more. Keep it at a friendly professional level.

If nothing else, she’s an extreme oversharer. Who tells their colleagues they used to be an escort and had an affair?
😂😳

This thread is hilarious.

So many silly judgmental responses.

I really can't bear it when women hold themselves up as the moral police.

If you do t want to go to her wedding then decline, OP, but stop making assumptions about her marriage/relationship when you have NO IDEA what went on.

A former escort who has affairs with married men probably isn't many people's first choice for a friend.

I do wonder if her fiancé was a client originally 🤔

She may well be trying to make a new life for herself.

I use to work in a call centre and one of the managers was a former porn star in her younger years.

Did you miss the part where the op said that this woman told her exactly how and what happened ‘with no details spared’. That’s kind of what the thread is about? The woman’s told her what a scumbag she is which is why the op wants nothing to do with her