How to deal with the anxiety of finding out you were the butt of a groups joke

[lookingforadvice24]

Looking for some advice of how best to deal with the anxiety I’m currently feeling.

I have a small business in a tiny city. I done some digital marketing training with an expert a few years ago who told me that the way the human brain works we are much more likely to engage with people than products and if you include yourself in your small business posts they are likely to get 200 times the engagement. I pushed my discomfort around it aside and powered on and plastered myself all over the internet. My business is doing really well and we have grown from just me to 12 employees in 18 months.

Someone I briefly knew posted on social media about starting doing content creation for businesses and I thought our content could do with being a bit more polished. I reached out, we met up and I explained my thought process behind me wanting to appear in the content off the advice of this marketing expert and how I now felt it was what I had built my business up around. The content was really good and she seemed lovely but it was demanding quite a bit of my time to get the content stuff done and I already felt totally at my capacity so I didn’t continue working with her.

Fast forward to today, I get a message from a friend saying the content girl had gone on a girls trip and she had heard from a girl on the trip that they played a game of seeing who could buy each other the silliest phone case. The girl told my friend that the content creators friend bought her a phone case with a photo of me on it. I then see she puts up a post of the trip saying ‘mine was the best but Isn’t for social media but it has someone very FAMOUS on it’ (the famous was in capitals) so they are obviously taking the piss out of my for my business content stuff I post.

I feel so humiliated, I am feeling anxious at the moment anyway waiting for the results from hospital about something serious and I just feel like this might be the straw to break me. I can bare the thought of being the butt of the joke like that. I just feel so embarrassed.

My business is my only income as a single parent and I believe the content stuff really works and is a big part of my businesses success. I can’t bare the thought of going back online tomorrow knowing they are all slating me in their group chats. It’s such a horrible feeling. These women are in their 30’s with daughters.

All my friends are sleeping to ask for advice at this time. Hoping someone on internet will be up to give any tips on how to try and forget this.

What can I do? How do I feel better? There is no point in confronting her is there? I barely know her anyway and it will just add fuel to the fire I would imagine.

Thanks for reading anyway x

Aww, I'm sorry this has happened to you However I think it's the risk you take when you put yourself out there in a very public way. There's always going to be bitter people around. You can't take it too personally.
Could you message her and in a nutshell, tell her what you've told us? Appeal to her better nature, and all that. She hasn't behaved professionally, but you can.
Good luck with it but in the kindest possible way, I think you're going to have to develop a thicker skin.

Sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like there's some insecurities being brought up all round there. If she were genuinely confident in herself she wouldn't need to make fun of other women to make herself feel better. I don't think it was helpful of your friend to tell you either for what it's worth, though perhaps she thought it would be helpful. I would either respond to her post with a quick comment like, "glad to hear my merch helped you win!" and let it wash over you, or ignore and know that you have nothing to be ashamed about. The evidence is there that your business strategy is working without her anyway so her opinion or snarkiness is of no consequence. You don't need her to validate you, but she clearly needed you to validate her. Enjoy seeing your hard work pay off, you have earned the right to be proud of yourself.

It may sound a bit cliché, but it really sounds as if they're being horrible and jealous because you're making a success of yourself in trying circumstances and they are shallow and mean. They're not nice people, definitely not worth giving a second thought to. Your strategy works which, given how hard it is to get any traction on Social Media these days, is amazing! I hope you get the results you are hoping for x

Yeah I just wonder what it would now change... part of me wants her to know that I know and just how it has made someone feel. I'd feel horrendous knowing I had made someone feel like that.

I'm all for a joke and a laugh and can sometimes take things too far myself but the printing me on the phone case. It just feels really nasty.

I think u should just ignore it , she's probably jealous you are doing so well and bitter than you didn't work with her . You need to focus on your self and your children and ignore things in life like this. People will always hate on others if they are doing well only some will get happy for you and the haters don't matter .

Confronting her will only make her think you actually gave a shit , and people like her are irrelevant to your life .

She's shown herself up to be spiteful and immature. Its also really stupid for someone who runs a business to take the piss out of anyone, especially a potential client.
I wouldn't spend any time worrying about it - but I wouldn't put any business her way either. Chin up and take the high road!

I don't think there is much to do here OP. It sounds very mean spirited of this group.

If your strategy is working for you and your business, keep it up.

It sounds like you have ended your working relationship, so take a mental note not to work with this person again, dust yourself off and put your chin up. Making any sort of social media comment will just look passive aggressive and petty.

Thank you for all the comments, it feels bizarre looking at someone who is gorgeous and imagining they would possibly feel jealous of me.

Could I address it on my stories tomorrow? Turn it into content that this happened to me and explain the reason behind why I do the content with the marketing woman and how sad it makes me feel as a mother of daughters that women are so desperate to drag others down.

Obviously wouldn't mention her by name, just briefly say I was made aware that I'd been made the butt of a groups joke for thinking I was famous and explain the reason behind why I do what I do and how sad it made me?

Absolutely don't do this.
Never work with her again and move on.

No, don't do that, it would look self-pitying. Focus on the positive.

She unprofessional, small-minded and mean so it’s good you discontinued working with her. I wouldn’t base your opinion of yourself on someone you don’t respect or like.

While it probably would’ve been better for your friend not to tell you about this, and better for you to turn the other cheek, I think I would be tempted to comment on the post saying something like ‘good to know my content still has the winning formula!’

To be honest, if I saw something like this on a social media business page, I would find it all very dramatic and probably use another business. Obviously this depends a bit on what your business is, but it would put me off as a potential customer.

I also wouldn’t post anything like you suggested, it makes you sound a bit dramatic and while I understand your feelings, that does put me off a business.

They sound shallow and jealous, but I'd play them at their own game. Put up a post with some merchandise - phone covers, mugs, keyrings - with your face on, and make a big joke of it saying "Due to popular demand, now available to purchase from our online store". You may even sell some!

Thanks for the advice just to ignore it. I absolutely am self pitying, it's just horrible and I'd feel sorry on anyone including myself who was made the butt of a group of people's joke like that 😂

That’s a terrible idea. Bad for your dignity, but bad for your brand too!! You would look really unprofessional.

Tbh, the “joke” may not be as mean as you think. If I’m reading it right, person A is the content creator, but it was person B who made the phone case. So person B might actually have been lightheartedly taking the piss out of their content creator friend. Perhaps the content creator had been a bit boring going on about what a great job she did when she was working with you. Maybe someone said a while back that they’d seen your stuff and content creator said, “that was me! I made her famous! I’m like Simon Cowell!” The butt of the joke may not be you at all. Not saying it’s nice for you to hear about and worry about, but this info is third hand and out of context and possibly delivered by a stirrer. I think there’s every chance it wasn’t to do with you.

Congratulations of your business growth - that’s fantastic 👏🏻

I always look for the owner of the page on a business SM account, I don't know why, but I definitely engage more if they are on there. I also love a little back story about how they got started. Anyway, I would ignore it. She sounds bitter because you didn't go ahead with her!

Fast forward to today, I get a message from a friend saying the content girl had gone on a girls trip and she had heard from a girl on the trip that they played a game of seeing who could buy each other the silliest phone case.

See this bit - the person who told you about it wasn’t even on the trip. I think you’re really missing context here.

I think you’re best leaving well alone… but you could always text the content creator that you heard she had you on a joke phone case, and your <insert random relative> would howl at that as a gift, so to save it from landfill could you have it? That way she knows you know, if that’s important to you. But mostly - I think you should ignore.

Wow OP hats off for your success I’m genuinely impressed! Huge growth for your business there! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
The bigger your success the more haters gonna hate!! I would take this as a MASSIVE compliment. That someone went to such trouble to focus on you & spend such energy on talking about you in such away tells me they are massively bothered by you…hilarious .! 😅🤣
Their jealously is their problem. Let this be another booster in your journey like rocket fuel. So she put you on a phone case…now aim for her t-shirt! 😄 🚀🚀🚀

😂😂❤️❤️

I would privately message her with what singingthypraises said = glad to hear my merch helped you win, so that she knows that you know then block her. Might make her think about being so mean in future.

You should message the perp and ask them if you can have one of those phone covers?
Then jokingly say you're sueing them for copyright infringement. Lol
Honestly, just ignore them. The person isn't your mate or client and you will always get some hate if you put yourself personally as part of your marketing.
It sounds like your business is a fantastic success so you've nothing to worry about there.

I agree with the others here. Yes there is the chance that you’ll get made fun of if you’ve put yourself out for the world to see. But at the end of the day it’s paying off supporting your family.

It’s hard but as they say “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”. Respond to the post with a pitch to your product or service in a good natured way.

“wow Betty Thanks for the gratis advertising… mention this phone case and get X% off your next whatsit”

You have given 12 people jobs within an 18 month period; I'm not sure you realise how huge that is.

During a time of economic crisis, you have created a business which is now giving an income to 12 different individuals (& presumably you hope to grow even more in the future).

There are really incredibly few people in the world who have self-started a business and been able to do that in such a short period of time. Businesses often take years to get off the ground and hire even a couple of staff.

Honestly, I would focus on that and being proud of what you've accomplished so far.

You should be very proud.