How to deal with the anxiety of finding out you were the butt of a groups joke

[lookingforadvice24]

Looking for some advice of how best to deal with the anxiety I’m currently feeling.

I have a small business in a tiny city. I done some digital marketing training with an expert a few years ago who told me that the way the human brain works we are much more likely to engage with people than products and if you include yourself in your small business posts they are likely to get 200 times the engagement. I pushed my discomfort around it aside and powered on and plastered myself all over the internet. My business is doing really well and we have grown from just me to 12 employees in 18 months.

Someone I briefly knew posted on social media about starting doing content creation for businesses and I thought our content could do with being a bit more polished. I reached out, we met up and I explained my thought process behind me wanting to appear in the content off the advice of this marketing expert and how I now felt it was what I had built my business up around. The content was really good and she seemed lovely but it was demanding quite a bit of my time to get the content stuff done and I already felt totally at my capacity so I didn’t continue working with her.

Fast forward to today, I get a message from a friend saying the content girl had gone on a girls trip and she had heard from a girl on the trip that they played a game of seeing who could buy each other the silliest phone case. The girl told my friend that the content creators friend bought her a phone case with a photo of me on it. I then see she puts up a post of the trip saying ‘mine was the best but Isn’t for social media but it has someone very FAMOUS on it’ (the famous was in capitals) so they are obviously taking the piss out of my for my business content stuff I post.

I feel so humiliated, I am feeling anxious at the moment anyway waiting for the results from hospital about something serious and I just feel like this might be the straw to break me. I can bare the thought of being the butt of the joke like that. I just feel so embarrassed.

My business is my only income as a single parent and I believe the content stuff really works and is a big part of my businesses success. I can’t bare the thought of going back online tomorrow knowing they are all slating me in their group chats. It’s such a horrible feeling. These women are in their 30’s with daughters.

All my friends are sleeping to ask for advice at this time. Hoping someone on internet will be up to give any tips on how to try and forget this.

What can I do? How do I feel better? There is no point in confronting her is there? I barely know her anyway and it will just add fuel to the fire I would imagine.

Thanks for reading anyway x

Don’t do this. It’s a reaction, which is what she wants.

I would do this. I think it depends on your target audience. If your target audience is women your own age, then they will very likely feel empathetic and rally your corner. You could actually turn this into content and get quite a lot of engagement from this.

It was really nasty thing to do, as well as being very unprofessional.

i built my business in a similar way, so I’m sure I have been taken the piss out of. But that’s the price we pay for posting ourselves out there on social media

It says more about her than it does about you.

You have no reason to feel embarrassed. She should be ashamed of herself. Well adjusted adults do not behave like that.

Did you pay her? I'd be tempted to like the photo and say reminds me i need to review your business

Ignore ignore ignore.

She's bitter and jealous.

If it carries on I would leave her a review of her services and professionalism on Google (if she is on there)

If you feel you must say something. Next time you see her, thank her for her exposure as it brought in more clientele 🤣

Ignore, ignore, ignore! Always take the 'moral highground' - never sink to someone else's level. Retaliation is petty and would give away how you feel. Keep your dignity and pretend you don't care. Your embarrassment will pass.

I'm not sure why your friend had to tell you in the first place. I never tell friends about anything mean or critical someone else has said about them.

So she's slagged you off publicly on the interview? That's gross misconduct. I would be getting a solicitor to send her a strongly worded letter. See how she laughs about that.

How revolting that someone in their 30s doesn't get a job with someone and behaves like that? Also the phone case has used your image without permission so I'd be finding out who did that sending them a solicitors letter as well. See how funny they think they are then with a legal threat.

I would not say a word to her but next time you're asked for a recommendation make a point of saying why you wouldn't use her.

You’re putting yourself out there and succeeding in what you do. Some people resent that. I know it’s difficult but you should try and ignore and focus your energy on the positive. This woman is an irrelevance. The fact that she is choosing to give this level of attention to someone she barely knows is testament to the person she is. You’re better than this and have far more important things to think about so rise above. The best ‘revenge’ is living well.

One thing from your OP, I do

I've been sitting here wondering what to say and then you typed this @Howbizarre22 - I totally agree. @Thepeopleversuswork you've done an amazing job building your business in that short time. Keep going! Ignore people like her - it's pure jealousy, that's all it is. Onward and upward - you've so much to be proud of!

I'm self-employed and I know how bloody hard it can be at times. That phone case malarkey says WAY more about her than it does about you 💐

I wouldn't feel empathetic and I wouldn't engage more. I'd avoid.

Not all women have been 'conditioned' in this way and anyone who is professional in their approach is more likely to be put off by it because it makes the poster seem a bit unstable. I want to engage the services of someone who will maintain professionalism at all times. Not someone who will engage with nonsense and pettiness. It would undermine her professionalism to me.

OP, personally, I would ignore most of the, "I would do x!" responses on here. What people say they would do in a moment of bravado responding to a thread on MN, or because they think it sounds 'nice' and supportive is very unlikely to be anywhere near close to what they'd do in real life.

Whoops sorry pressed send by accident.

I doubt the other women are laughing about this. If it was my friend, I would like to think I would point out how mean a thing it was to do, at the very least I would disassociate myself from her in future and quietly make sure I never used her professional services in case she decided to take the piss out of me.

It's one very stupid and short sighted person. Don't feel you need to lose other friends over it.

Maybe the way to go is write a post saying how important it is as a woman to support other women entrepreneurs and list and thank a few people who are super stars. Makes the point by taking the high road.

Fuck them, they are not friends. Move on and network with other successful women entrepreneurs.

But what you did worked didn’t it OP? You’ve made your business a success. Focus on that and do not let them distract you from carrying on.
There will always be jealous and bitchy people around. They aren’t worth your time or energy

First of all, congratulations on your business success. That’s fantastic! You must be very proud.

Don’t take to heart a silly game on a weekend away by a group of people you don’t know. I question the motives of the person who told you about it - how could that be a helpful thing to tell someone?

We all do things or make choices that other people on the planet might find daft, weird or game for mockery. So what? Screw those guys.

Don’t say anything, don’t “address it”. It was a silly in-joke between friends you aren’t part of.

(I assume you don’t actually have phone cases with your face on, and this was something they had made.)

OP- Do NOT mention it on SM, ignore it and laugh at them privately- they're clearly jealous, noone is that spiteful without a negative inner motivation. If you post about it, it will reflect badly on you and it will continue the drama.

Yes it was hurtful but you said yourself, your strategy worked so they are the ones being idiots arent they?

I run a business and let me tell you- the more exposure you get, the more haters you will attract. Check out Mel Robbins podcasts on this phenomenon. Sadly, the more successful you become, the more people will like you and the more people will dislike you. You have to develop a really thick skin to deal with this so consider this a wonderful learning experience for you in letting shit go.

I can guarantee you that the most successful people I know all have followers or haters/trolls online and for no real apparent reason than their own bitterness. Having haters is unfortunately a mark of your success so think of it as a good thing in a weird way because what's the alternative?- noone knows who you are, noone knows about your business because you fly so totally under the radar that your business is anonymous and small.

You are doing amazingly- be proud of what you've achieved and for the love of God, dont stop now- dont let a few petty idiots ruin this for you. Dont dwell on this but do look online for other examples of this as you will find this phenomenon everywhere- take heart that it happens to all of us and it says everything about those people and nothing about you. x

That’s what occurred to me too!
Why focus on this silly negativity?
Think about the people you’ve given work too who are most likely grateful and think you’re amazing.
Haters gonna hate, so let them.

First, congratulations on your successful business. No mean feat, and with the constraints of being a single parent, pretty awesome.
Second, ignore her. This has come from a place of jealousy, so turn it around and see it as a boost ('I've got something others are jealous of').
Third, this is all on her. She did a quote, didn't get the work, and then seemingly took the piss out of the potential client in a public setting. Childish, and utterly unprofessional.
Ignore, ignore, ignore.

What you are doing is working for the business. Thats the most important thing. Enjoy your success.

She doesn’t want a reaction! She doesn’t want anything. It was a stupid petty game, it occurred at a specific situation and it’s over and done.

Tempting as it is to turn it into content or comment in some way, it will just feed the drama.

Whenever I see tiktok/FB content of the type you suggested, or other people have suggested, it just makes me roll my eyes. It's not what I follow you for, it's not what I'm interested in.

It sounds like your business and marketing strategy is insanely successful. Don't let some random woman derail you and take up head space. She's clearly mentioned you several too many times, otherwise how would someone she knows in a social setting have any idea about someone she met up with about business. This is very much more about her than you. It could have been any of her clients, you're just doing well, so they noticed you.

And congratulations on the success of your business, it sounds amazing 😍

She sounds incredibly unprofessional and possibly in breach of contract- your marketing strategy is presumably information confidential to your business so not something she should be telling her friends about at all. Appalling.

In your shoes I would get in touch with her and ask her to set out exactly what information about the business has been shared.

Definitely don’t post anything about this online.

Lots of good advice given already.
Rise above it.
You've achieved your goal you can afford to be magnanimous. Not everyone is nice and you can't make that happen.

Just in the interest of general education, you 'bare' your bum and 'bear' a burden!

I’m sorry to hear this OP. It sounds like this woman is jealous of your success or holding a grudge because you stopped working with her.

My small business was recently trolled for no reason by someone. I knew it wasn’t a customer as what they said made no sense so I figured it was someone who just doesn’t like me. I actually did address it on my business page as they kept commenting on local groups.
I got a huge amount of support from my customers and the trolling actually stopped.

I would do a post about "bespoke phone cases" and how easy they are to order and make it about the joke to make her question if you know!!

You sound lovely and as a business owner going from 1-12 is bloody amazing and very exhausting!

You've got guts to put yourself online and it's paid off and that rattles little people.