How to deal with the anxiety of finding out you were the butt of a groups joke

[lookingforadvice24]

Looking for some advice of how best to deal with the anxiety I’m currently feeling.

I have a small business in a tiny city. I done some digital marketing training with an expert a few years ago who told me that the way the human brain works we are much more likely to engage with people than products and if you include yourself in your small business posts they are likely to get 200 times the engagement. I pushed my discomfort around it aside and powered on and plastered myself all over the internet. My business is doing really well and we have grown from just me to 12 employees in 18 months.

Someone I briefly knew posted on social media about starting doing content creation for businesses and I thought our content could do with being a bit more polished. I reached out, we met up and I explained my thought process behind me wanting to appear in the content off the advice of this marketing expert and how I now felt it was what I had built my business up around. The content was really good and she seemed lovely but it was demanding quite a bit of my time to get the content stuff done and I already felt totally at my capacity so I didn’t continue working with her.

Fast forward to today, I get a message from a friend saying the content girl had gone on a girls trip and she had heard from a girl on the trip that they played a game of seeing who could buy each other the silliest phone case. The girl told my friend that the content creators friend bought her a phone case with a photo of me on it. I then see she puts up a post of the trip saying ‘mine was the best but Isn’t for social media but it has someone very FAMOUS on it’ (the famous was in capitals) so they are obviously taking the piss out of my for my business content stuff I post.

I feel so humiliated, I am feeling anxious at the moment anyway waiting for the results from hospital about something serious and I just feel like this might be the straw to break me. I can bare the thought of being the butt of the joke like that. I just feel so embarrassed.

My business is my only income as a single parent and I believe the content stuff really works and is a big part of my businesses success. I can’t bare the thought of going back online tomorrow knowing they are all slating me in their group chats. It’s such a horrible feeling. These women are in their 30’s with daughters.

All my friends are sleeping to ask for advice at this time. Hoping someone on internet will be up to give any tips on how to try and forget this.

What can I do? How do I feel better? There is no point in confronting her is there? I barely know her anyway and it will just add fuel to the fire I would imagine.

Thanks for reading anyway x

OP, well done on everything you've achieved, and putting yourself out there and employing so many people is amazing. Don't let these fools affect you.

So your friend who wasn't on the trip and heard something second hand thought fit to ring you up and recount some silly stuff. As other have pointed out who knows what she meant with that post Look you have done marvelously well with your business and shouldn't give these silly women a second thought. People will say things about people who are out there. There is a site that just rips into bloggers and the general vitriol when I stumbled on the site astonished me. You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

You wrote it for me. Well done OP x

I would message her and say “I hear you got a new phone case?! Enjoy x”

Honestly? She is jealous and bitter. Ignore and focus on your amazing achievements! Keep doing what you’re doing.

God no. That made my body cringe. You’ll only give them more reason to take the piss. You may have gone a bit too far into internet land if you want to turn this into content.

Be professional. The people buying your product or services don’t need to hear that you have an incredibly bitchy friend of a friend. That’s all this is.

You don’t need to respond, just know she’s a horrible person and delete.

I really wouldn’t do this OP. Just dust yourself off and carry on. She is so insignificant to you and your business. You don’t want to create a shit storm unnecessarily, you might then get her friends posting negatively etc.

Message her privately to say you know about the phone case if you really want to address it. And never work with her again obvs!

This! You sound remarkable and they sound jealous. Don’t give them another thought and continue to grow your business from strength to strength.

Op I can understand your upset but take a step back and do not do anything until three days and nights have passed and then see how you feel.

And please don’t use it as content as this would blow it up even more and reflect badly on you.

This has been reported to you second hand. It’s silliness between people with poor judgement. Don’t give it any further credibility by investing your energy in to it. Apart from anything else, the woman responsible has acted really unprofessionally. Don’t sink to her level.

If you feel you have to do anything, just write a jokey public post and say something like “thx for the shout out; the matching book bag is selling out fast 😂”.

But probably best just to ignore. Why give more credence to one unkind woman more than the many customers who have responded positively to your content?

OP, don't respond at all, not even in private and especially not as business content. Your success in a short space of time is amazing. There's bound to be people who want to rain on your success in any way they can. Totally ignore and put your energy into your business instead. As a business owner, you should be open to constructive criticism but general bitchiness deserves to be ignored.

Haters gonna hate...

Leave them to it

Honestly, I wouldn’t share your reasoning on SM. If anything, I would do a piece on how offering your time, expertise and experience for free to help friends out can minimize and potentially devalue your business. People are not going to take free advice as seriously as advice that they have paid for, and they are going to be more than happy to blame you if their venture fails (Whether they took your advice, regardless.) You can also state that it is very important to establish professional boundaries to protect friendships, as all too often, the friendship will suffer when someone feels that they have been taken advantage.

Or even better - a gratitude piece. Discuss the wonderful people you work with and how much your professional relationships contribute to your well-being.

Forget it. She is most likely jealous, this is not worth your time or attention.
Unfortunately your success will bring the worst out of (some) people around you

If you're going to put yourself out there like that, you do have to accept that there will be people who react negatively to it as well as those who react positively.

The best thing is not to let them get to you in the first place. Acquire a thicker skin. If it's too late for that, the second best thing is to ignore them and never admit that they got to you.

My business is doing really well and we have grown from just me to 12 employees in 18 months

^

This is your mantra.

That woman is jealous

OP, just pity her! This is not about you, it’s about her. She has done it because you pissed her off by not working with her by the sounds of it. She sounds immature. It’s about her trying to punish you for stopping working with her. Honestly, it’s pathetic. She’s a grown woman, just laugh and move on, that’s all she deserves for acting like a playground bully on the internet, the saddo 😂 x

PS. Do not give her the satisfaction of knowing how much she has bothered you, that’s what she wants!

I agree with this poster. This woman has obviously spent a lot of time thinking/talking about you. It's clear that it's jealously, you're living rent free in her head.

Try to see the positive side to it. You're successful and she's bitter because she's jealous. As you become even more successful you'll come across more people like this.

It's quite sad a woman in her 30s behaving like this anyway. Pathetic really.

Congratulations on your success by the way. 'Haters gon' hate!'

Couldn’t agree more -12 employees is freaking amazing.

Firstly you don’t know that you are the but of lots of group jokes and bitching. You have assumed this but it is a big assumption. The phone case was ordered by just one person and presented to one other person in a gathering. She may have seen the gift as a quick laugh with no depth/meaning or it might have been given on the back of a moan about her own work to one other person or some of the group or all of the group. Who knows. Either way the gift was unkind and most people would assume it to be quite a mean thing to order and make a joke of giving. Your friend clearly felt unhappy about it. Having a general moan about work to a close friend in confidence is perfectly fine though.

In your shoes I would probably text the lady who did the work for you and calmly say you were surprised to hear about your image being used on the phone case gift and you found the behaviour unkind and unprofessional, very upsetting.

I would not bother to create content about it. Personally I find that kind of content quite teenage and much like the immature critic Facebook posts I sometimes see people make when they want to have a dig. Best talk to the source rather then suck in a wider audience, particularly when you are setting up a business and want to create a business like reputation.

Wow she sounds horrible. I'm guessing she is jealous too because that really comes from a place of insecurity.

I would message her, just because I think it's really unprofessional to do what she did to a former client. Not sure what I'd say but keep it classy, polite and short.

Order 100 of said phone cases and give them away in a prize draw to boost your content.

its likely behaviour from a woman who is jealous of all your achievements or irritated that she had to work within a clients brief rather then having free rein. Either way it was a very mean natured gift and not worth your energy or time.

I’m really sorry you’re feeling bad anxiety. The immediate tension of finding something out like this can drive bad decisions. If you are someone who thinks strategically about your small business and its online marketing (which it sounds as if you are) I would definitely not put a retaliatory/snide post up throwing shade at the person who you heard made the phone case. This is poor business sense. As others said, no-one wants the businesses they use to play out personal drama in their advertising.

It sounds to me as if underneath it the content girl is envious that you have a strategy that works, and the courage to follow it though. As you mention in your OP, putting yourself out there like this is not easy. She might also be cross that you stopped working with her as likely she was learning from you, too - maybe she feels snubbed?

Try to focus on your existing success, your current employees and your strategy for the future. In a few days when you have calmed down you might be able to see that this person’s behaviour in a roundabout way is a manifestation of your success. And maybe find a friend/mentor IRL who can help coach you through the inevitable challenges like this that could arise as a business grows.

She is jealous and pissed off that she didn't get the business. Don't sink to her level. What she has done is really unprofessional and in her line of work, she should know that things always get out. It sounds like you made the right decision not using this person. Unfortunately, the world of business is full of awful, two faced people who only want a slice of what you have. Keep doing what you know is right as works.

I hope your health concerns turn out OK. 💐

You have gone from just you to employing 12 people - well done you 🌟Focus in your hard-work and success and ignore her. In the grand scheme of things she’s a nobody to you. You continue shining and let the petty people remain petty.