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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wrong to exclude my SEN child ?

205 replies

Maria1979 · 02/06/2024 17:29

I've got a son who's 14 y old on the autism spectrum + very immature. He loves to play w younger children but needs to be told off sometimes to be careful: he's not trying to intentionally hurt someone but fooling around on the beach w younger children two of my friend's younger children (who are my younger son's friends) later on told my friend's husband that he had been rough. Now he has told my friend that my soon can't be around them anymore and she obeys. The thing is this is my BF and we see each other a lot w our children. My son has promised to never play wildly again (this was at a beach outing), nobody got really hurt but I do realise that we should have played closer attention w DH but since noone went in to the water and they were running around on the beach we "relaxed" and talked w the adults.
I'm torn between understanding her husband for wanting to protect his children (he wasn't present) and btw feeling his reaction is exaggerated. Couldnt he just say that if DS is to be present we all need to pay closer attention since he's "bigger" but not more mature than the other children present ? I'm hurt that my friend just choose to go on her husband's line cause I don't think she realises that this will mean the end of us getting together. My older son is highly dependant on me and does not have a social life on his own so I have to bring him everywhere. He's 14, my younger 10 and her children are 7 and 10...

OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 10/06/2024 15:31

Maria1979 · 02/06/2024 22:57

I would never leave him in my friend's house on his own since her husband is sometimes smoking weed and when he isnt he's got quite a temper and can be violent.

It sounds like you and your friend need to keep your friendship and dump the husbands. Neither husband sounds worth the trouble/hassle/attitudes.

fliptopbin · 10/06/2024 16:03

Unfortunately I have found it is very hard to maintain friendships with a ND child for just this reason. I found it easier to not see ther mums as potential friends, but more like work colleagues, where you are professionally friendly hut keep your guard up.

WaitingForMojo · 10/06/2024 16:32

OP, you sound lovely and a fantastic mum. People here just love to put the boot in and add some ableist assumptions to ice the cake.

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/06/2024 17:12

Glad you and friend can see each other again

Ans watch carefully

sunflowerdaisyrose · 12/06/2024 11:06

@fliptopbin - have I understood it right, you won't be friends with parents of ND children?

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