Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

Nope.

Mine helped me when my car broke down in February to the sum of £1750

No my parents have never given me money as an adult (not even for birthdays/ Xmas)

No, our parents wouldn't offer and, as adults, none of us would expect them to. They would help if we asked.

No.

Mine wouldn’t offer financial support at all.

DHs would require him to ask and then sit through a lecture about how he should have planned for this etc, but would then probably give him the money, while moaning about tax etc.

As a functioning adult (presumably with a job), why should parents be helping out with money? We all have to pay for these things - worst case scenario, stick it on a credit card. Parents paid for us throughout childhood, maybe on through university, but then it has to stop.

No, my parents haven’t given me money since I was a teenager.

My parents and parents in law wouldn’t dream of offering in case it caused offence. But they might help out if asked (and often when we’ve asked for a loan they have given us the money instead).

Yes. I don’t need money at all and my parents give me money because they want me to have it now rather than inherit it and have it taxed in years to come. But I don’t think anyone else’s experiences are useful when your OP is without context and with no other detail about your lifestyle and financial situation. Perhaps your parents think you’re frivolous with money, or make poor life choices, or should work more hours, or don’t make the most of your careers, or think your OH doesn’t pull his weight financially and don’t want to subsidise his laziness, or all kinds of other factors which nobody knows about to base their opinion on.

No? I'm 38 years old! Why would it be their responsibility to offer up money to another adult equally capable of earning their own money

I have recently been lucky enough to have been given some money by DM - I have been suffering from a painful medical “thang” - I had my cc set up to deal with it and sadly it had to be cancelled until the end of the year.

I have been in more pain than admitting and I was with Dm when it got cancelled and burst into tears.

she offered to fill in the shortfall of a different provider and it has made a huge difference to my life and wellbeing already.

Shes recently moved and has much smaller outgoings and it has given her much pleasure to help me. But I didn’t ask, she offered.

I hope when my DC need help I will do the same thing - especially with things like your car / health x

Yes. We were washing up and using even paper plates as our dishwasher broke a few years back and we didn’t have the money to buy a new dishwasher and we had a new baby and I just really hate washing up. It was piling up on the side and getting ridiculous. When my Dad found out he said buy one and we’ll just call it your Xmas present! He hates washing up too and he has the money spare. 🤷🏼‍♀️Wanted to make our life easier. I know he would do the same for a car.

Harsh but honest. If you can't afford the repairs on a car, then generally speaking you can't afford the car.

Buying a car is the easy part, looking after it and keeping it road legal takes elementary forward planning skills.

That’s interesting, my attitude is that we’ll try to help Dd all through her life is she’s genuinely struggling with something and if we have the means to also.
I paid for my own driving lessons, my first car myself, stayed at home for uni, but paid for everything myself through working part time too.
I’ve just met so many friends as an adult, whose parents paid for those things.
If financially able, we will pay for DD’s lessons, first car and so on, this just seems normal to me.

Yes, my dad would just give me the money. If l offered to pay it back he would probably refuse, I'm in my 50's dad 80 and very comfortably off

My parents couldn't afford to.
I'm retired now.. but lucky enough to be very well off.
I definitely help my daughters and Grandkids.. they don't have to ask.

With respct, that is a bit different to a car. Millions mange without cars

My parents would instantly have offered the money with no expectation of it being paid back. They have more money than they need and nothing makes them happier than helping out their kids.

Mine did when I was in my 20's but not now. I think they would still help out if I asked but wouldn't offer.

They do help out occasionally by buying clothes and other stuff for DD, or if we go out for a meal they might say they’ll pick up the bill.

I wouldn’t expect or accept their help in relation to the circumstances in your OP.

I suppose it depends why. Like I’d usually put it on a card if needed to. And have emergency savings and such like.
But if a parent is in a position where they can help and offer then why not. I know my parents also see it as a way of reducing inheritance tax etc
Theyve massively benefited from
house prices rises as one example. I barely know anyone who has bought a house without help- alrhough that’s probably partly as I’m in an expensive area.

Yea of course because they love me. I’d do the same for my children. Are there issues between you and your parents?

My parents were always willing to help but I didn't ask as they weren't well off. Once our kids were young adults we'd buy them groceries online, or give money for birthdays. They have always been hard workers. Sometimes I will pay for my adult daughter to have a hair cut or massage, and we have helped one into their first home with a modest loan. We make sure it's fair for both of them, their situations are a different due to age gap. They never assume we will help, I think that makes all the difference.

Probably not.

Paying for lessons for a 17 year old who can't yet earn much is very different to needing to help a mature adult who's long been capable of supporting themselves

You might feel differently when your DD is a much older adult. It can feel frustrating as a parent if you feel you offered DC all they needed to become functioning adults and yet they don't support themselves.